Razorblade Romance.

As I sit in silence and am surrounded by hate, I could never hope to find you. It's always too late. I feel the slick blade on my wrist and there's no other way. I slice in and my pulse begins to fade. Everything is going away. Eyes go black, Heart is cold, and blood runs dry. I go. Don't worry it will be alright, With death I slit my wrist now say goodnight

My Angel.

The helpless feeling rising in my throat. I'm dealing with this pain and hate inside alone. You are the angel who kept me alive. You are the one. For you, I would die. But, now all I see is the ashes of your wings. All I can breathe is that deadly disease. I never really cared how you felt till now. I never knew how wrong I was till you were never around. I lay in the ashes crying my soul. I lay and wait for darkness to enclose.

Still I wait in the dead of the night, the hours have gone and I cannot cry. Among the leaves, I softly seethe and wait for the pain to release me. Tears, blood and ashes of my angel fill my lungs. I heaved and breathed yet still the night air stung. I close my eyes. I regret my lies. The darkness surrounds leaving my body to die without a sound..

I See Now, I Should've Realized A Lot Sonner..

I look to your beautiful, vast green eyes and see the shadow of a girl I once have know as Tori.. Yet, my silence has earned me the right to lose myself in fate. Fate that will ultimately kill me inside leaving me defenseless to your final knife in my back. My heart cannot be healed from your simple betrayal because you have pierced the deepest fathoms of my soul.. Leaving me to wonder.. Did I ever matter to you? You threw me aside like a piece of shit. You used me to show that you were able to do whatever you want.. I was used.. It never bothered you that you dropped me like nothing ever happened between us. Yet, inside I always wondered if I could save it or was fate the knife that cut us apart.. I really will never know.


The knife of fate is sharp and judgmental. It chooses it victims, but not it's saviors.


We are all meant to die.


I know this now.

Why not steal the knife of fate and slit my wrist.. bleed the eternal love I had ever felt for you out. Drain me of my fears and anxiety.


And if you judge me. You are pathetic, not me. I am actually able to express my emotions while you fake and lie to make yourself seem perfect.. Honestly, I don't give a fuck.

I'm not perfect. I can live with that.

Every day we fall, we have learned the easiest way to crawl. Stay down on our knees but we're still moving forward. Never did I think that we were so weak. I never realized what we learned was a lie. So I'll take bare this on my mind, and take it with every stride. It's a brand new day. But it's all the same in every way! I'm gonna drown, I scream so loud. But it doesn't make a sound. So save me now. I'm learning the answers to explain this emotional cancer. It spreads through me, the infection of the lonely. I can still breathe but for only heartbeat. I need a hero to save me. Show me what I never learned. How to love and how to burn. How to live and how to ignore their concern.


The Angel walks among the blood of the hopeless collecting their souls. These souls were so alone in the cruel world that was supposed to be home. The pain built and built till one joke, one tease, one last thing later it boiled and spilled. They ended it all with a final fall and a scream that could be heard down the hall. He passes locked doors, notes, and razors to heal the souls, to be their savior. He stands by as the fire department knocks down the bathroom door. Gazes at the parents gaping at what lays on the floor. The towel soaks to red as they try to save the unfortunate girl, the tears start flowing and the room starts to whirl. The Angel wraps his midnight wings around the girls soul to help reasure, that the choice was wrong. She could've endured. She thought her dying would stop hers and their pain, but she was wrong, it only amplified all the same. He holds her down, she may not pass through the golden gates of Heaven, nor the door of Hell. She is chained to this Earth to see her mistake take it's effect. It tears her apart to see the tears at the funeral. She regrets her choice, but they'll never hear her voice. But she and the others can never go back cause when your heart stops beating it all falls to black wings on The Suicide Angel.


Forever human wreckage,
Callie

My Heart.

My heart is like glass. Shattered glass piercing through everything inside. It's going through my heart, soul, and spine. It kills me to say this, but without him. I'm nothing. He was my everything. Without him, my heart and soul are absent. Never to be healed or returned..


I've come to one conclusion though.


I've had a better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt, and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.




I'd rather be a pariah.


Forever human wreckage,
Callie