12 days of mellon collie: everyday

*introduction of the 12 days of Mellon Collie is available at the xniquet-wiki, click on the above wiki logo to go to the section, so that you might have a better understanding of what is happening here*

I am writing on a little piece of paper, I am hoping that someday someone will read this. I don’t have to put a mask to hide what I am anymore, and all of you will know what and how I am inside. You know, I am still dead inside, only a little bit comes breathing through. I believe I can see the future, because I repeat the same mistake over and over again. I think I used to have a purpose, than again it could just pretty much be a dream. I think I used to have a voice, but now I will never make a sound. I just do what I was told; I really don’t want those beatings to come around. And when I feel those hard cold eyes are watching, in case I lose myself again. Sometimes I feel that I am happy here, but I think I still trying to pretend. I can’t fucking remember how this got started, but I can sure tell you exactly how it will end. Because every day is just fucking the same, there is no love and there is no hate that I feel anymore. Every day is exactly the same. Sometimes I wished this could be any other way, but I really don’t know, I don’t know what else I can do?


the best
pretty good
pretty bad
the worst