In my iPod: Set it Off - Audiosalve
State of mind: brink of collapse
Location: in bed, home
I am tired. I am paled. I am sulky. I am fidgeted. I am talking to myself. I am complaining to myself just like that little girl who fell through the rabbit hole. No it isn't just thoughts running inside my fucking brain but my discontentedness is taking form and marching right outta my fucking pie hole; audible to my fucking surrounding.
The coffee that I am having is fucking cold; the fucking breakfast strawberry tart taste like a sugar coated cyanide that would give any healthy human being a diabetic pestilence; Ben and Nadia on the Fly's breakfast show is talking like the fucking Dormouse at the mad tea-party, blathering uncommon nonsense that would agitate even the most patient person. Don't even fucking get me started with the fucking sky; it is so gloomy that it would drive any happy shinny person to the brink of feeling disconsolate.
Just a week ago, I was at the notion that she has totally forgotten about me. I have finally come to my senses and is at peace; I realized that this is what she should have - a healthy and complete life with her family which has nothing, not a single tinge of me in it. Because I was the scarlet bloodstain on her white satin sheet, I was the rotting corpse inside her fucking closet, I was her vile untold secret that cannot even be whispered and I was her fucking shame that has corrupted her purity.
Everything was peaceful in my fucked up yet mundane life, up until the moment when I was about to have my morning breakfast, she called me and told me that she was still thinking about me.
20 minutes ago…
And I thought she had become a stranger to me like the many others before but right now,
According to Dante's Divine Comedy, my first stop in hell will be the second circle, where my fucking soul will be blown about to and fro by a violent storm, without hope of rest. That doesn't sound that bad right? But I guess the best part of it all is that I get to meet Semiramis, Dido, Cleopatra, Achilles and many others who were overcome by sensual love during their life. Maybe they can share stories about how most of them die voilently at the hands of their jealous spouse.