I made it through my whole India experience without consuming a single drop of tap water but I didn’t wanna jinx it by bragging about how proud I am for not getting diarrhea because almost everyone who goes there usually gets it. But how the fuck would I know that the tap water in Nepal is also unprocessed. It may be totally un-harmful to the locals Nepali because they have already developed antibodies but passersby motherfuckers like me don’t and should at all times use bottle water for drinking, brushing teeth and hey, there is even one time I washed my ass using bottle water because there was a cut.
But I guess my brain must got eaten away when I was totally checking out the erected cherry-top twin Himalayan's peaks on the inferno-hot Russian girl who were staying next to my room when she passed me by as I was going in my room after getting some bottle water to wash up that godforsaken morning. After that all I could think about is what a lucky bastard that guy would be to hike up to her twin peaks that I totally forgot about my no tap water policy.
And to make things worse, I thought I was really strong and have developed super antibody after I took a bath in the Ganga; so I totally didn’t see a doctor and rely on Gatorade to rehydrate myself from all the liquid loss that which I was quickly losing from my ass and mouth. I cannot remember a time when I purge so hard that I couldn’t even feel my anus anymore; and the puking was the worst, on the second day, I was practically vomiting white foam because there wasn’t anything in me to throw up anymore.
On the third day I practically turned into a green like an Orc and a perfect stranger who was working in that hotel told me that I should really go to a hospital because I was getting worse; and top of that diarrhea in this part of the world isn’t a thing to joke about. According to their Ministry of Health, west of Kathmandu, a deadly diarrhea broke out in April and has recorded 235 shitting related deaths; there’s like more deaths than the A(H1N1) death in Malaysia. I mean I am not afraid of dying but to die of a shitting disease would be such a disgrace. You gotta be fucking kidding me; I don’t want my friend to be told that I died of shitting. I would rather slit my throat and bleed to death than shit myself to death. So I accepted that kind stranger’s gesture to bring me to the hospital for treatment.
You know, this isn’t a satire for all the third world country that doesn’t process their tap water but seriously please come out of the dark age and do something about it, I mean people are shitting themselves to death and I totally think that diarrhea is really a fucking bitch.