My Bad Girlfriend

Let me tell you about my girlfriend...

My girlfriend has a magnetic pussy that attracts dimwit dicks like me to do her dirty deeds.

She shakes her ass and wave her tits like some fucking magic wand as she cast some enchantment spell on me then she butt fucks me emotionally anyway she please...

While her worm tongue loves spitting fictitious tales about us because I found out that...

She lied about everything.

She lied about her and she lied about me…

She lied about her collecting stamps when clearly it was her ex's and their STD.

She lied about a baby being on the way when she had been slacking on her gym days.

She lied about always wanting me to be there but it has became obvious that she only calls me when she's going shopping.

She lied to her friends saying everything's fine, that she had me hooked by my balls and she could reel me in any time.

She lied about her tits saying they were real but they're about as fake as the way she feel.

She is so full of shit; she should be a septic tank.

Any sane guy would rather get hit by a truck than stay with her and be fucked. I guessed I'm just a demented motherfucker sliding down a razorblade while using my balls as brakes.

But darling Carin, let me tell you something...

Every time I tell you I'm almost in heaven when you gave head, that is because your head sucked so much, it got me thinking I would rather be better off dead

Every time I tell you that I want you, it means I've just finished getting aroused by porn and I'm too lazy to rub one out myself.

Every time you bring me along your shopping spree I was there because of your friends were there too

Darling, the Truth is...

I was sleeping with you just to get to your other friends and now that I've slept with every single one of them behind your back, I guess it is time to move on and get myself another bad girlfriend.

P.s. Darling, don't flatter yourself because you made me cum every time you give head, I was merely trying to choke you with my semen.