stab me with shrimp's tail if you want me dead

While Superman gets that cool green shit we call Kryptonite as his weakness, I am stuck with shrimps, shrimp shells to be exact. Just how dumb can it be to have Shrimp shells as your Kryptonite? You might be thinking that there are a lot of people who are allergic to seafood and shrimp, they just get rashes and irritation after they eat shrimps and yeah all these while to me, every time my lips touches shrimp shell it will instantly turn into a fat lip which will put Angelina Jolie to shame. To be frank, I have given up on eating shrimps since the day I found out that my lips couldn’t come into contact with its shell. You might be thinking that you could remove the shell, yeah you are right but I am just too lazy to do so. I rather not have any shrimp; it’s no big deal because I don’t really like it anyway. Just the other day, a whole new revelation was revealed to me when I took out some shrimps from the freezer and accidentally got poked in my thumb by a prawn’s tail. The hole was so bloody small, but there was blood. I was alright at first and was able to turn the prawns into what they were supposed to be on that day - Seafood pizza. As usually I didn’t eat any prawns, so no fat lips but all hell broke loose at night. I had a bloody high fever and my thumb felt like it was on fire and it was falling off. It was bad enough for me, that I had to head to the hospital to get a jab in the middle of the night. I am alright now. I know my guests in December love prawns therefore I gotta be more careful when I am handling prawns from now. So now you know, if you wanna kill me, all you need to do is stab me with a prawns tail and you will see me swimming with the fishes.

Updates: this is how my thumb looks like now, see that microscopic hole that nearly kill me, it is swollen and my skin started to peeled too, damnit. I think I am going to call Lisa and tell her I got a bad thumb and I am going to die soon if she doesn’t come over and pamper me, yayy!yayy!yayy! yayy!yayy!yayy! yayy!yayy!yayy!