The Perils of Women’s Sex Decadence: they aren’t as innocent as they used to be

playing on my iPod:
My Michelle – Guns N’ Roses

When you need to tilt your head just to look at a girl’s face…

…just to recognize her, you know you’ve fucked one too many girls in your lifetime and it is time for you to slow down before everyone thinks that you are a man-whore or gigolo. So you think it ain’t that bad being a man-whore right? You get to have every man’s favorite hobby as your job and the best part is she is the one that is paying and not you. But then again, if you are living in Malaysia, chances of you getting a young and beautiful girl as your client is close to zero; 90% of the man-whore’s client’s are wrinkled old women above their 50s; the other 10% are men who likes to suck and ride big cocks because their gay partner isn’t giving them enough. Regardless of what you see in Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo, it totally sucks to be a man-whore in Malaysia and California. [The only difference between Malaysia and California is that in California the 90% consist of men and 10% are the wrinkled old hag.]

Yesterday my cousin Chris asked me why is it every time we go to the bar to pick up girls, I am the one who gets the girl while he is having problem getting one?

That makes me wonder what ladies see in me. I ain’t no pretty boy or some gay looking heartthrob that girls totally dig; my definition of humor are mean and blunt insults thrown at people which is funny to everyone except the one whom the joke is about; my manners are somewhat of a dandy that was raised in the gutter. On the other end, you could say that my cousin Chris is the benchmark of what every gentleman should be. He is funny, good looking (maybe 10 times or more better looking than me), great career, caring, articulate, well mannered and goes to church every week. He is every parents' dream son or son-in law while I was the inspiration of how a son or son-in law should never be. If he has a blog, I bet your fucking ass his blog would be about the environment, love, Jesus and shit like that; something which I totally cannot bring myself to write about because I am better at asking people to kill each other than to persuade them to hold hands, suck each other’s cock and be merry and gay.

If the two of us were made into characters in a Dungeon & Dragons game, Chris would be the Lawful Good Paladin trying to save the world while I would be the Thief with the Chaotic Evil alignment going around burning, looting, and pillaging everything on sight. Yet every time we go out ladies hunting, I would be the one going home with someone.

Time sure has change and I think it has something to do with the general acceptance of the decaying moral values in our society. These days, the more immoral you are, the higher the chances of you getting the girl. Don’t even try to go in a bar and try to impress a girl with your sophisticated knowledge of how to treat a women right. All you ever get is just a compliment saying how sweet you are and then you'll spend the night alone with your own hands rubbing your cock. On the other hand, if you just be a degenerate ass that treats the girl like a sex object, you are pretty much on your way to a night of fuck fest. Don’t stop telling her how you are going to make her scream tonight and make sure your hands is always all over her, i.e. ass or breast (for better result, make sure hands is underneath her clothes). Keep this up and before the night is through, you might as well sharpen your dick and get ready for some penetration time.

We are all fucking blessed with a brain which is suppose to help us but sometimes we tend to fucking over think things that are just plain ass simple. Why is it that we think the Yoga Sutras who invented yoga is an Old Indian holy man living in a temple trying to be as one with the universe by meditation, where the simple fact is that that bugger could be just trying to find another way to wipe his ass without using his hands and saving the TP* expenses for the temple. The general truth about girls in bar is that they are not there to look for someone to take care of them. They can do it themselves or hire people to do it. They are there to have fun and “fun” in their context means going home with someone and getting fucked. Forget what you read from a girl’s blog, about how she wants her man to be. It totally doesn’t apply here; you will be better off doing the total opposite of what she wants. Just like a Brahman worshiping Hindu believer eating a thick juicy sirloin steak which was once a cow grazing grass beside the river Ganges, we know all this is all wrong but it would very much secure a passage for your cock inside her.

I think I better stopped here before someone strangles me with a fucking sitar string.

TP* = toilet paper