Don't Act like an Angel, Cause You're Falling Again

In my In my iPod: Broken - Seether
State of mind: Mood Poisoning
Location: Study

Our candle burns away, revealing the ashes that were filled with lies; I gave you my heart, my soul and my trust and what you did is cut me from behind. You said you will be there for me and wouldn’t let me fall again. Yet I wonder all the time I shared with you, were you even there at all? Why did you have to go and piss it away? Just when I put my guard away; you left me broken and betrayed, it’s the same old fucking story. The truth is now I’m just scare of the truth and I’m tired of your fucking lies.

You try to reconcile but the thing that goes in my fucking head is that you lie to me and now I am still wondering why? You try to make good but all I can see is the image of the both of you and it makes me wonder if the act of not breaking both of your faces was right? Just so you know the one night stands and random strangers is not about getting even. I have never been big on the whole loveless sex play; I just wanna know how it feels to be on the other end and not the one being cheated on. So...

Even if I had a million acres of land to run away from you but here I am strapped tight to this rocking horse with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Now I am deprive of my conscience thinking maybe I should let you lie to me once again, pretend that everything is gonna be alright, and eventually question myself- is it worth it in the end? Am I closer to wrong and further from right? Should I be convinced that something is wrong with me on the inside?

This is the story of my fucking life: the one that you wanna be with is the one you can’t live with and the ones that you don’t need just seems to be omnipresent.

Valentine gifts from the ones that I don't need right now:
1. Bottle of Merlot
2. Handmade aromatherapy pillow
3. Tumasek Pewter photo frame & chocolate candy
4. Homemade chocolate chip cookie that looks like dung.

These gifts came from 3 separate person which I shall not name. Even though it is common for a guy to receive chocolates and gifts from a girl in Japan on Valentines but seriously I am not from there. You can call me old fashion but it still feels fucking gay for a guy to be receiving gifts on Valentines. So I ain't gonna sit here like a bitch spreading her legs; as much as I don't like it, I think I owe them dinner but not on Valentine's. Just like a sex addict who doesn't want to deflower his wife to be before marriage, I shall keep my Valentine sacred.