Leaving My Cradle

In my iPod: Broken Road - 12 Stones
State of mind: Sobering up
Location: Kuantan airport

Coming straight at you from the fucking airport in Kuantan, I am just but moments away from leaving my fucking cradle to a fucking land where napkin niggers and dot heads are the fucking majority. I am still feeling the effect of last night in my fucking brains. My friends threw me a Bon Voyage bash but seriously it was just a lame excuse to fucking drink. We started drinking at 12 am and bodies started hitting the floor as early as 1am. We fucking drain down not Uno, not Dos but Tres bottles of Amigo tequilas and there were only 6 of us. I think in the mist of all the drinking, I fucking had an epiphany and I started blathering out things which I should be saying or doing when I am in India; which led me to realize (now that I am sober) that they are fucking things that could easily get me beaten up or killed in India. But just for the sake of killing some time, I am just going to list out some:

  • Call Indians in uniform a Slurpee jockey
  • Refer Bengali as napkin nigger and Indian ladies as dot head
  • Ask a Bengali on the street in Delhi does he knows when does an Indian boy become an Indian man? If he doesn't know the answer tell him “When he takes his diaper off and puts it on his head.”
  • Walk up to a local Hindu while eating a beef burger and ask if he wants a bite...
  • Tell a local that I am a born again and I believe in the Father, Son and the Holy Cow…
  • Tell a Hindu devotee that their gods are like Pok√©mon, there are over a hundred of them.
  • Wear a tee that says… “ You Worship Cows, I Eat Them”

Yeah I know the above is absurd but what can I say, how cool can you be when you worship livestock with horns? Okay, I fucking lied, I am not sober and I think I still have some alcohol in my fucking veins.

Armed with a fucking mini notebook (which is going to be my only source of entertainment while travelling), I guess this would be my only means of blogging and communicating with my online friends, provided if I could get an internet connection there.

Anyway, I gotta go recharge this shit here, so this is me signing off from Kuantan and probably the next time you hear from me I would be sitting next to some curry boy while blogging. To those I didn't get the chance to say bye to… "Adios and please take good care!" I won't be seeing you in 5 weeks, the plan's changed. See you in half a year.

WTF! my hair isn't fulling dry yet when I reached the airport...

xniquet's journey across India