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In my iPod: World So Cold - 12 Stones[download]
State of mind: Stained with Sadness
Location: Delhi, India
It's been 1, 2, 3, 4…5 days and I am still constantly under the mercy and torment of the freaking heat here in Delhi. Even on the hottest day in Malaysia which is about 31'C, I would lock myself away in my air conditioned room to stay away from the hellish climate. Yet in this god forsaken land where the temperature can go up to 45'C, there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide and definitely no air conditioning room for me to take refuge in. To me this was almost like being baked inside a convection oven.
You can call me a racist or a pariah but the feeling of malaise still slithers underneath my skin because there are just too many fucking Indians around me. I don't know, maybe because where I come from, there aren't so many of them around, most of the Indians that I cross path with are mostly bloodshot eyes drunkard lorry drivers spending their break time getting intoxicated inside a Chinese coffee shop which later would passed out at the corner of the sidewalk. Seeing an India sleeping on a corridor or back alley behind some shop from where I come from is common. Everyone will probably think that he just too drunk to go home and no one will suspect that he is homeless.
But what I witness here in old Delhi is just fucking different. Yes, it is very normal to see people sleeping on the streets here in Delhi but it is not that they had too much to drink or couldn't find where they park their car but these people are just plain homeless; what they own are practically the clothes off their backs.
Nightly, we lay on our fucking fat asses on our soft king or queen size bed listening to Bach's Air on the G String while flipping a page or two of our favorite novel trying to dose off; sometimes we might have just lowered the temperature of the air condition just a little too much; but it's okay because we can wrapped ourselves with the soft and comfy duvet to keep ourselves warm because getting up or reaching for the remote control is just too much work. You know I have always thought that it is alright to overdo and pampered ourselves because isn't it the main reason some of us work our asses off for? But while we indulge in luxury, somewhere across the globe, someone here are using newspaper as insulation, some are hugging each other to keep each other warm against the brutal chill of the night. The dusty roads that are fill with jagged little stone are their mattress and the sound of vehicles that passes them by is the rendition of Bach's pieces. I am not talking about just one homeless person but families including the young ones.
It is just so unfair; while some kid somewhere sleeps in his cool race car-like bed that his parents bought from Ikea, surrounded with the latest toys that he would probably play once or twice; the only thing that this child here has, is a piece of newspaper to lay on and his father's hands to keep him from falling off the edge and unto the main road. Even though I don't know them but seeing them in this state, it leaves a fucking stain of sadness inside my heart. Yet in all the sadness, I see tenderness.
You know watching it on Discovery Channel and witnessing it first hand is totally different. To see a kid without clothing lying on the sidewalk, trying to sleep while covering his ears because of the noise pollution by the traffic around him is just heartbreaking. In my lifetime, I have seen and contributed a fair share to donations, campaigns, concerts and gigs that are trying to raise awareness and funds to change this world, yet the fucking world still remains the same, if not worse.
What kind of world do we live in?
xniquet's journey across India