Big Pimpin' in Bangalore

In my iPod: Beat Yourself Blind - Skid Row [download]
State of mind: Loco
Location: Bangalore, India

I don’t know about you but there comes a time in life where you really need a break from the fucking things in life. Yes, even when you are on a holiday. I have been to this country for about a month now and I have been sleeping in shit holes, gay pits and puke piles they call beds; I have been crapping in the world’s dirtiest throne that you probably need a disinfection jab just by looking at it. I have tasted the food served under the worst environment and don’t even get me fucking started with the hygiene.

All this because I wanna feel what it is to be amongst the normal people here, living like a real curry local. But right now I just wanna say fuck you beggardom, I am sick and tired of spending less than RM50 a day. I wanna go crazy for a bit and be pampered. I wanna stay at a comfortable hotel with a hotel bar that I can raid; I wanna wake up in the middle of the fucking night and order room service not because I am hungry but just for the sake of keeping the staff of the hotel at their toes.

The Taj Residency

I want a bed that is big enough for 3 plus me, just so in case anything happens, there will be lots of space to move around. Maybe a sound proof room would come in handy too, just in case things gets a little heated up, you fucking know what I mean.

Alright this may not fit 4 but for a threesome, it is still alright...

I want a bathroom that I can roll on the floor butt naked without having the fear of getting skin rashes the next day. I want a toilet bowl where I can lay my bare ass on it, full skin contact. I REFUSE TO CRAP STANDING ANYMORE! DAMNIT!

Jesus Mother Mary! A clean toilet finally !

And tomorrow I am going to the best spa this city has to offer, to get rub all over with goat cheese and peanut butter (if there is such a treatment) but for now my big spending terror in this city of Bangalore will starts with KFC…yayy !

Yeah, I am taking a break from my vacation and so this is me pimping through this city. When I am through, Bangalore will be swinging like a fucking stripper or it could be the other way round, this pimp wannabe would be on an economic class flight back to Malaysia…

xniquet's journey across India