Today is Just not the Same

In my iPod: Darkness - Disturbed
State of mind: In Pain
Location: Bangalore, India

Today is not the same because it has been like every day for the last 6 years; Today is not the same because it’s far from ordinary when you wake up every morning only to find yourself in a bad dream and then you realized that you are fucking stuck in it for the rest of your miserable life. Today is not the same because you are just not here;

I tried to runaway, I tried to stay away, far, far away ‘cause I thought that being far away and coming to a place that doesn’t have a single tinge of you will eventually cease the pain. Yet, it is as vivid as I remembered it to be. But you should know that I've come to realize that we all have our places. Yours is to be where you are at right now and mine is to be right here, smack down beneath rock bottom, collecting the shards and pieces that used to be our dreams that you shattered when you left me. I believe that time has a way to make it clear, my role in all of this ordeal and pain. Therefore, I will be just right here, to carry this emotion inside of me, to carry the thought of you inside. Yet yesterday my fortune teller told me to embrace what that has cause me pain and let it surface instead of running away from it. I know I’ve promised you a cake every year but this year I have decided to do something a little different. I have decided to defile my body and endured the pain of a thousand needles in your memory.

So let me just introduce you to the guy that is going to surface my pain and carve you unto me. Meet Girish from Brahmin Tattoo Studio at Indo Plaza, off BG road. He has the quietest self-made tattoo gun in the universe. His steady hands and attention to detail is legendary. So he is going to be my body ink and pain giver for the whole duration of this ritual of leaving your mark on me permenantly.

Happy birthday Angel, another year has passed, it won’t be long now. I don’t know how long my road to you is but the thought of you waiting for me at the end of the road is carries me through my days and especially my nights, like a guiding light it is taking me home.

18/6 In a bookstore, looking for Iris Chang's book

17/6 Wacthing Angels and Demons

17/6 I got my wings

15/6 Going out for Dinner

12/6 Public Transport

11/6 Indian Curry Puffs

xniquet's journey across India