Today, I decided to take a leap of faith, so I drove myself 3 miles to the famous Sunday street market where you can get all sort of mouth watery treats in one place. It’s been years since I’ve been here. Mainly because it’s crowded, secondly it’s crowded and finally it’s crowded. Ever since I moved from the city to come back here, I have been trying to avoid places with large congregation of people, so much so that I think I have developed this phobia of being in places with large amount of people especially in open spaces.
It just got worse lately, every time I find myself in the middle of a crowd, I begin to feel that I am getting smaller and smaller; then everything around me starts to move in super speed that I can’t seem to catch up. My heart would pound so fast, I 'll hyperventilate; all I know is that I gotta get outta that crowd to a place where there are less people, then everything would just go back to normal. I really don’t know what is happening to me but it could be that I have started to resent all humans in general.
But somehow I manage to find a way of dealing with crowded places; I find that if I jack into my iPod to shut out all the noises around me, I am able to regain more control of myself. So that was what I did today, with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss playing in my ears, I walked the street market like a scavenger preying for something that would fill my stomach tonight. My tactic was proven effective but only for the first few moments; but when throngs and throngs of motherfuckers started to flock that street market, I couldn’t but to feel my anxiety started to take my wheels. It was just too much for me to bear, even with my iPod playing over 5 decibel. Without going any further, I turn back to where my car was parked and I bullet outta there like a bat from hell.
But I guess it was a good effort because I manage to grab some grill chicken before I flew out of my living nightmare.
The fucking Malays here like to grill their chicken to perfection and when I say perfection in term of the Malays, it means almost turning the chicken into charcoal. So my dinner was the charred chicken which probably would increase the risk of me developing cancer . It was suppose to taste sweet because I saw the fucker spread generous amount of honey on it. But I think I am finally feeling the side effect of taking too many Paracetamol in the last few days, now my tongue can only handle the bitter taste.
Goddammit! Even Pepsi taste bitter to me.