of Dying Alone

It doesn't really take a fucking soothsayer or a clairvoyance to figure out that at this rate that I am going, I can pretty much predict I am going to grow old and die alone, alright maybe not old but definitely die alone. Seriously, I don't know whether I have it in me anymore to be in a fucking relationship because I am already so used to living this life as it is now. I fucking do whatever I feel like doing, when I like fucking doing it and in whatever fucking amount I like doing it in. I answer to no fucking one except me and the last thing I ever need is someone to come and fuck it up for me. You know I seriously doubt anyone would want to share my unpredictable and ad hoc way of living. If there is, I pity the ones who’s willing to take a chance on me because it would mean a massive lifestyle restructuring and a whole lot of insanity to even consider being with me.

I saw this in today’s news:

Overdose of sex stimulants kills man

BANGKOK: A Malaysian man was found dead in a hotel room in the border town of Sadao, in what is suspected to have been caused by an overdose of sex stimulants. On Tuesday night, the 52-year-old victim and his Thai girlfriend (most likley a hooker if you ask me) checked into the hotel in Soi Thaijungloan after patronising a bar. “When she woke up in the morning, the man was already dead. She told us the man liked to take sex stimulants”

You know, I have always wondered how it is like to be dead and in the news; some people just has all the luck in the world. But seeing that I am pretty much on my way of dying a lonesome death, I could pretty much be that guy in the news, above, maybe 20-30 years from now. The ecstasy of overdosing on sex stimulant and having my cadaver discovered by my “girlfriend” (most likely a whore) the next morning is one way of leaving this world in style. So keep a look out, you might see my face in the news, somewhere down the road.

On another note, I’ve think I have just made a best friend. Since I came back, I have been relying on my friend for relieve, moral support and clarity in my head. This friend of mine doesn’t ask questions, it just does what it does best and that is keeping me intact. I’ve been living on these motherfuckers since the day I got back and so far they are doing a great job.

500mg per pop and I take two of these fuckers every four hours daily when I am awake. Seriously, I don’t know what am I gonna do without them.

Who the fuck says that you can't be friends with your drugs?