Memoirs: The Shape Shifter 2 – Sounds of Impalement

Hello again, it has been an exceedingly long period of time since I penned down my thoughts but by and by I am glad that I am able to do so and resume my chilling tale of my rambunctious encounter with a shape shifter that goes by the name of Joyce but I reckon Joseph is a more suitable name for it.

*Paused* Please pardon my manners for I have just regurgitated in my own mouth thinking about it.

A lot of changed since I last wrote but I assure you none of my potency has depleted; I am coming to you from the sunshine state of California, seated in a diner; I'm having shots of caffeine over some slapjack while the background music is playing something from Dana Fuchs (Hmmm... I wonder if she gets her name misspelled all the time) but I would rather have something from the Ozzman. To be honest, I have grown increasingly fond of the song 'Crazy Train' because it sort of sums up what I am in this century.

*Longer pause* It's been far too long, my writer's lobe has been left unattended to and it is tremendously hard for me to concentrate with my brain all tangled up like a pretzel. But with the help of my friends in this century, I was able to conform to today's current writing standards; I was told just by adding a magic word to my writings, it would seem modern and updated. Let's see if you could spot what word I was referring to...

... if you ever fucking doubt me when I say that she was a fucking criminal through and through. Her fucking crime was being too fucking beautiful; her beauty could easily turned a crooked toothpick into a erected towering timber and believe me if a fucking rubber condom is used to denote the times that I wanna fuck her, I would be telling you that I will be wearing a whole fucking rubber tree.

All crimes must not go unpunished; her hideous atrocity must not go on un-noticed.

I am Azrael, God's little fucking angel of death and I am here to rain down fire and brimstone on her from my fucking erected flaming sword I keep in my crotch.

I am Vald the Impaler and my long hard sharpened stake made of meat is ready to impale her for all her iniquities.

My grandsire have always said that I have the blood of a vigilante in my fucking veins but today I can fucking assure you it flows in my penis for I have sacrificed myself to be her judge, jury and fucking executioner.

I really don't have to tell you what when down that night after we have left the club and into a private room. All I can fucking say that it was the sound of crucible; the shriek of agony; the scream of calamity; The fucking sound of impalement ringing from my torturing device that I like to call my meat stake.

I've pray earnestly to God and He has granted me strength... penile strength, all night long.

They say that time flies by so quickly when you are having fun and so it is too when you are torturing someone. It felt like only seconds when I gave my last thrust into the void that lingers between her legs, making her squeal like a pig at the end of its death march to the butcher pen.
I wish I could do more harm to her but alas I am only a mere human.

Morning comes and it was time for me to leave but I couldn't leave without stealing a peek at the beauty of my victim.

But I was in shocked when I did so, because the woman sleeping on the fucking bed now isn't the person I left the club to get acquainted with my dick. I am staring at a completely different person.

Whatever happened to her beautiful violet colored eyes and flawless eyelashes that captivated me? Her eyes looked like they belonged to a fucking pug.

The fuck happened to her perky breast? Now any man boobies would put her tits to shame.

Is that her hair or a stack of hay on her head??? And her face... I am just lucky I didn't turn into a fucking stone after I gazed upon it.

Oh fuck me; last night I didn't fuck an Aphrodite but it was a Troglodyte.
Right about then, I was having a 'derection' and I could feel that my penis was permanently shrunk by an inch and a half but it's alright. You can shrink my penis a dozen more times and I can still assure you its size and length is still way above any standard penis. (Standard Japenese penis doesn't apply here).

Later that day, I told my cohorts about my fucking encounter with the shape shifter and they told me that I was fucking lucky that it didn't grow a penis in the morning.

Or did it?!!! *glump*

This is just too much for me to fucking handle right now, so will you all excuse me for I am going to go back to my place to have a fucking heart attack.


if you've missed the first part of the Shape Shifter, here it is