Memoirs: SYL

The greatest justice Facebook has ever done is to let "ugly-pork-chops turned choice-cut-models" get even with their ex-boyfriends that have left them while they were still a lump of saturated fat.

Having their newly formed body’s photo taken by little men with cameras much bigger than them; then posting up shameless picture of themselves portrayed as 'models' on Facebook. Making their ex-boyfriends remorsefully wished they should have never dump them.

But then again, I speak for all the asshole ex-boyfriends like me that the only regret we ever have is that we shouldn't have met before the transformation. It’s like moving into an un-renovated house; eating a banana that isn't ripe; going in a toilet when the shit odor is still there; or penetrating before it is properly lubed.

It's unpleasant but we've moved on and we are not coming back for seconds.

But if there's any consolation, even though you've haven't caused a ripple here but you have definitely raised a lot of cocks in the process. Cocks that belong to nerds that prowl on the Facebook in search of pictures of girls who likes to be clothed in more skin than fabrics to be added to their "for masturbation" folder.

Congratulations, you've given Facebook a new function: a free amateur soft-core smut page; a masturbation catalogue for 30 year old nerd who still uses their parents' computer.

I'm sure that there’s one or two of your pictures are in these nerd's folder. Stored away safely, so that their parents won't caught them jacking off to it. And since, it’s a global kinda thing, I'm pretty sure someone, somewhere is stroking his penis to your picture even as you are reading this.

Then again I'm not here to judge or criticize these models-wannabes’ pictures even though it's gross and shameful. Hey, who am I to tell someone that she can't be a model in this life or the next. I'm not here to say that their pictures are fucking distasteful. No, I'm not here to inform them that they're just masturbation material.

And I'm certainly not here to point to my readers who these girl(s) are.* can email me to find out *wink *

I'm sorry if I've got carried away talking about smuts but they do excite me in a dirty way.

So here I am, sitting and staring at a picture of a face. Someone which I never had and never wanted to have, not because she grossed me out but because she was my best friend's girl and according to the 'bro code', even a tinge of thought about her would amount to betrayal and I was not about to take my chances.

What she and I had was the purest kind of friendship; we could talk, hang out and enjoy doing stuff without having any sexual tension between us. Nothing we did would sex us up because we both knew our places. You know, these days it’s hard not to spend a lot of time with a girl and not think about fucking them but she was the one exception. You might be thinking that she's probably was some fugly pork chop or the hunchback of Notre dame but on the contrary she was a major hottie. She walks in a room filled with guys and I can guaran-damn-tee you that there would be blood pumping into these guys' penises.

She can easily raise cocks but somehow not mine.

But that was a long time ago; she sorta faded into oblivion after her broke-up with my bestie. I've never had the chance of talking to her after my bestie officially labeled her a bitch and barred us all from ever having anything to do with that fucking Medusa.

I thought it will be for the best that I let my bestie get her outta his system before I go see her and pick up where we left off or maybe even more.But days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months into years. I've never seen her since, not even a cunt hair trance of her.

15 years passed and now my bestie is married and we never spoke of her again.

Somehow I just couldn't get rid of her chokehold on me. Once a while I think about her and when I'm not thinking about her, my subconscious mind would dream about her. Lately, it has gotten worse for every time I'm in a crowd, there would be someone with her face in it. You know the 'what could have been' is bitterly corroding me from the inside out.

I've been in a relationship limbo for far too long and maybe it’s time for me to reach up for that something more that I've always been scare to try.

It wasn't easy but I managed to find her on Facebook but I never had the courage to add her because I'm really not sure how she would react to a person who didn't stood up for her when her ex continuously called her a bitch in front of everyone.

But when I've finally grown a pair and gathered my guts to make myself known to her in Facebook, her account went missing; maybe she disabled it or something.

The only lead I have of her is that she is currently in LA.

So, here I am and I know there's millions in LA...

Maybe I'm just crazy
Maybe I misunderstood
Maybe I'm wishful thinking
But maybe, just maybe the next time the face I see in a crowd belongs to her and not someone else.