Memoirs: SYL

The greatest justice Facebook has ever done is to let "ugly-pork-chops turned choice-cut-models" get even with their ex-boyfriends that have left them while they were still a lump of saturated fat.

Having their newly formed body’s photo taken by little men with cameras much bigger than them; then posting up shameless picture of themselves portrayed as 'models' on Facebook. Making their ex-boyfriends remorsefully wished they should have never dump them.

But then again, I speak for all the asshole ex-boyfriends like me that the only regret we ever have is that we shouldn't have met before the transformation. It’s like moving into an un-renovated house; eating a banana that isn't ripe; going in a toilet when the shit odor is still there; or penetrating before it is properly lubed.

It's unpleasant but we've moved on and we are not coming back for seconds.

But if there's any consolation, even though you've haven't caused a ripple here but you have definitely raised a lot of cocks in the process. Cocks that belong to nerds that prowl on the Facebook in search of pictures of girls who likes to be clothed in more skin than fabrics to be added to their "for masturbation" folder.

Congratulations, you've given Facebook a new function: a free amateur soft-core smut page; a masturbation catalogue for 30 year old nerd who still uses their parents' computer.

I'm sure that there’s one or two of your pictures are in these nerd's folder. Stored away safely, so that their parents won't caught them jacking off to it. And since, it’s a global kinda thing, I'm pretty sure someone, somewhere is stroking his penis to your picture even as you are reading this.

Then again I'm not here to judge or criticize these models-wannabes’ pictures even though it's gross and shameful. Hey, who am I to tell someone that she can't be a model in this life or the next. I'm not here to say that their pictures are fucking distasteful. No, I'm not here to inform them that they're just masturbation material.

And I'm certainly not here to point to my readers who these girl(s) are.*pssst...you can email me to find out *wink *

I'm sorry if I've got carried away talking about smuts but they do excite me in a dirty way.

So here I am, sitting and staring at a picture of a face. Someone which I never had and never wanted to have, not because she grossed me out but because she was my best friend's girl and according to the 'bro code', even a tinge of thought about her would amount to betrayal and I was not about to take my chances.

What she and I had was the purest kind of friendship; we could talk, hang out and enjoy doing stuff without having any sexual tension between us. Nothing we did would sex us up because we both knew our places. You know, these days it’s hard not to spend a lot of time with a girl and not think about fucking them but she was the one exception. You might be thinking that she's probably was some fugly pork chop or the hunchback of Notre dame but on the contrary she was a major hottie. She walks in a room filled with guys and I can guaran-damn-tee you that there would be blood pumping into these guys' penises.

She can easily raise cocks but somehow not mine.

But that was a long time ago; she sorta faded into oblivion after her broke-up with my bestie. I've never had the chance of talking to her after my bestie officially labeled her a bitch and barred us all from ever having anything to do with that fucking Medusa.

I thought it will be for the best that I let my bestie get her outta his system before I go see her and pick up where we left off or maybe even more.But days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months into years. I've never seen her since, not even a cunt hair trance of her.

15 years passed and now my bestie is married and we never spoke of her again.

Somehow I just couldn't get rid of her chokehold on me. Once a while I think about her and when I'm not thinking about her, my subconscious mind would dream about her. Lately, it has gotten worse for every time I'm in a crowd, there would be someone with her face in it. You know the 'what could have been' is bitterly corroding me from the inside out.

I've been in a relationship limbo for far too long and maybe it’s time for me to reach up for that something more that I've always been scare to try.

It wasn't easy but I managed to find her on Facebook but I never had the courage to add her because I'm really not sure how she would react to a person who didn't stood up for her when her ex continuously called her a bitch in front of everyone.

But when I've finally grown a pair and gathered my guts to make myself known to her in Facebook, her account went missing; maybe she disabled it or something.

The only lead I have of her is that she is currently in LA.

So, here I am and I know there's millions in LA...

Maybe I'm just crazy

Maybe I misunderstood

Maybe I'm wishful thinking

But maybe, just maybe the next time the face I see in a crowd belongs to her and not someone else.

Memoirs: Everyone Keeps a Pocketful of Horrid Secrets

Evening finds me, home alone, jaded and depressed. My only solace would come if only I could get a shuteye.

Yet...

Morning mocks me as I woke up from a dream that I had of you.

Now…

Daylight haunts me as I realized that you not here anymore. How you fucking left me, and the life that I fucking toil for all disappear.

Sometimes you just haven't a fucking ass clue as to why things around you gets fucked up beyond your fucking imagination. Just when you fucking think that it is safe to let your fucking guard down, someone or something would just walk right up behind you, pull down your pants and fucking rape you right in the ass without even the courtesy of giving you proper lubrication before going in.

Eventhough I've never been cocked in the ass but I am sure coming home to find your fiancé in the arms of a total stranger holds the similar kind of fucked up feelings, far worse than snapping a thick yellow rubber band on your genitals.

I've faced rejections and I’m cock sure you fucking had your share too. But this one is special because I'm not even a cunt hair close to competing with your new lover...


Your new lover could be a better friend like the one you never had;

Your new lover could read a girl's mind far better than any guy;

Your new lover could feel the things that you feel;

Your new lover could share things that I never could;

Your new lover could understand your troubles and needs like I never could;

And you could definitely share your slutty dress, your 5 dollar whore-like lingerie, your deceiving push-ups, your fake ass eye lashes and your cheap perfume...


But one thing your new lover could never be...

This is written by a man who thought he could finally move on and settle down to have a normal life but nothing is what it seems.

Yeah, you might fucking look into your faithful girl/boyfriend’s or wife/husband's eyes and you fucking say you placed your fucking trust in them and that you think they won't ever betray you. [That is what they all said at first]

But how sure can you be, can you fucking see what the fuck is behind closed doors?

The late night working overtime, the frequent business trips, the so-called other gender outings; are they really what they are supposed to be? The increasing number of phone calls that tells you not to wait up for them; don't tell me there isn't a tinge of doubt in you.

Maybe he is on his knees fucking a stranger or maybe it is someone you know and is very close to. Maybe, she is spreading her legs wide apart for her boss or co-worker who could afford to buy her things your pathetic paycheck could never. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he could cum harder when he is with her? She moans louder and is so much more moist down there when another man other than you is fucking her.

Don't shove these thoughts aside because you and I know that we will never be 100% sure that these are just wild and ridiculous thoughts.

I've had a couple of married women before and usually they'll call their husband after we finished fucking. I guess it is an act of guilt to atone for the wrong doings or should I say the wrong fuckings they have committed.

So, I'm really sorry to say this, if you're always getting phone from your other half saying that they miss you for nothing. You know you' fucked! Or should I say your other half has been fucked.

Everyone keeps a pocketful of horrid secrets from their other half, what makes you think yours is a fucking saint?



So ask yourself this today, why doesn’t she spread her legs as wide as she used to? Or why all he gives you these days is just a half ass erection that could barely fill the void between your legs?

Always Forever

Do you remember the first time I told you I Love You; it was just after school and it was raining hard. You sneezed and I had to say it all over again, so I said I LOVE YOU but you didn't even utter a word. You placed your head on my shoulder as droplets of rain ran down your brow. You held my hands to your shinny eyes and smile as you kissed it.

You said, "I am always yours and you are forever mine; this is always forever."


I remember the last time I told you I Love You; it was just after our tuition class, it was a warm and boring day, you yawned and I had to say it all over again, so I say I LOVE YOU but you didn't say a word. You sat there as you held my hands to your shinny eyes as I watch the tears rolled down your cheek.

You said, "I am always yours and you are forever mine but it ends today I think you'd understand; There is NO ALWAYS FOREVER...Just this ...just this."





NOTE:
"The Die-ry of xniquet" will be kept in the hidden section of this blog, it can only be by those who subscribe to this blog's feed or through the hidden button which is found on this blog.


xniquet-wiki article coming soon - Madeleine

Tragic Romance

It has been a week since that day that left him on fire and longing for more. But everything seems to be at a standstill, he is just feeling the same old, same old nothing new. He just wants to feel something from all of this that will move him and prove to him that he loves her; he wants to have a heart that beats and bleeds, a heart that makes him wanna love, cry and scream and not this heart that is filled with barbwires twisted around it and keeping everything in and out of it. So he tried to say something that comes from within, trying to spark that lovey dovey feeling that seems to be lost. So he sat closer with her on the couch; he looked at her shinny eyes, kissed her cherry lips and said...
Her face went blank and He had explained what he meant and she couldn’t stop laughing and it took away every inch of romance that he wanted to spark and placed it at an all time low.

Bad Ass who Rather Break Someone’s Heart

That bitch finally got the best of me and I have only myself to blame. What you do not know after you left is that I was hiding from the sun once and trying to run from time again because I lost you and I was pouring and drinking like a real man and I went home fucking drunk again. My parents were up when my keys hit the lock, and the clock looked at me just like a devilish bitch, and I saw it in my parents’ eyes, in a couple of hours I will be send away. So in front of my parents, I poured a really tall and strong one and hoping that kingdom will come when I finished drinking it. But it didn’t, just moments after that, my suit case was packed and I was driven off to drinking rehab just like that.



Inside the car with my suitcase and a bible in my hand, I told them I sworn to change my ways, but it was too late and now I am on my way back to rehab again. I thought to myself, with kids and a wife at home and a job in some fucked up factory in an assembly line; I wish I had that life instead of doing nothing and all the money to drink my life away and now I have lost another good thing in my life. You won’t pick up my calls and answer my text and you were leaving on a midnight plane to Perth tomorrow. Right about now, I sure hell wished I could pour another strong one and drink it while this car heads to my rehab.


Months passed and I was sober and back from rehab; I was trying my best to make good with you. But after months and months of phone calls, text messages, emails and endless hours waiting on the MSN; there wasn’t a single news or reply from you. Until after a year that you finally appeared on the MSN again and I clicked on your name and as your window popped up showing your display picture. My heart sank; it was you in a white wedding gown with another man. Without a single word I clicked on the “X” and deleted you off my list and that was the last I ever seen of you.

And it made me realized that’s the way my life is and that’s the way I am, I was never cut out for this, the harder I try, the greater the lost. No more will I ever be a sissy going around looking for happiness, because I no longer believe in happy endings and I never ever let out every ouch of my emotion again and I vow never to be the victim that succumb to the all the emotional breakdown that comes with every bullshit relationship, better them than me. And that was the day I became the x who I am today, a fucked up badass rebel with an attitude who rather breaks someone’s heart than get broken heart.


THIS IS XNIQUET’S BECOMING X





This is the last post under xniquet’s becoming x, what better way than to close off this era o than writing about what this era is actually is about. The Die-ry of xniquet will still be on because they are still a lot to dirty laundry for me to reveal but it will appear in the next era: xniquet’s middle finger technology. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy xniquet’s becoming x but if you don’t dig that, you can suck it.


NOTE:
"The Die-ry of xniquet" will be kept in the hidden section of this blog, it can only be by those who subscribe to this blog's feed or through the hidden button which is found on this blog. The Die-ry of xniquet is a place to get personal with Mr. x, here most of his scandals and skeleton in the closet are brought into the light.


xniquet-wiki article coming soon - Jen
xniquet-wiki article available - Era: becoming x

Don't Go Away...Forever and a Day

Damn my education because I am just out of words to say to you right now, I am probably the biggest jerk who deserted you not once but twice. But believe me that it wasn’t about another person and it is not about loving you. It is just that I feel myself changing into another person each time I give in to you. I know it is for the better that you want me to change, but somehow I am just not ready to go there; I wasn’t ready to let go of all my pain, because all these pain are the only thing that makes me who I am today. I know I broke your heart the first time. But somehow, I think fate has a sick sense of humor when it brought us back again. After 9 months, right after you just broke up with your boy friend. It was entirely my fault to think that I could make it this time, again when you got too close to me, I find myself in the same position and I had to sew myself shut. I don’t know if you would ever understand it, but I hope that you would find a place in your heart to forgive me for not being able to go through with it.



It is just ironic that the favorite song that you always asked me to sing to you is Oasis’s Don’t Go Away when the thing that I was best in doing in our relationship was going away from you. If it is any consolation to you if I say that you have been the one who gave me the courage to sing again. I hope that you are doing well without me, because having me in your life equation just simply spelt disaster. Lastly, I thank you for introducing me into the world of blogging because without you, I wouldn’t have discovered the joy of blogging.

P.S. I don’t know what has gotten into me, because Oasis’s Don’t Go Away keeps playing in my ears and every time I pick up my guitar. That would be the first song that I play and i would play it as if the song was a lamentation.


Oasis - Don’t Go Away (LP Version + Acoustic Version) Click here to Download



Noel Gallagher from Oasis singing Don't Go Away - Chicago 1998.
It just couldn't get any better than this.
Written for his mother when she was near death.
Probably the most beautiful song by them.



xniquet-wiki article available for this person - Ah Ping



NOTE:
"The Die-ry of xniquet" will be kept in the hidden section of this blog, it can only be by those who subscribe to this blog's feed or through the hidden button which is found on this blog. The Die-ry of xniquet is a place to get personal with Mr. x, here most of his scandals and skeleton in the closet are brought into the light.

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Spicy

There is an Old Klingon saying that “Revenge is a dish best served cold”. But today Lisa has proven that wrong, instead of a cold dish I got an extra spicy one. It happened the day before yesterday, Lisa and I were out shopping and we came in contact with 2 really hot transvestites. I mean you could have knew that this two hot specimens was She-males from a mile, just by the way they dresses and their absolutely fake ass and not to mentioned half-hanging-out tits or their shoulder to hips ratio and by the gods, one of them still has an Adam’s apple around it’s throat. [For more info on how to spot a She-male, please refer here -when the line between sex begins to blur]. Coming from a small town which is famous for its hot Transvestites (Yes, Kuantan is famous for its beautiful and also lady-like Tranny), you don’t get to see hot and beautiful transvestite much around the world, but probably in Thailand you would. That is why the sight of those two hot transvestites gave me the homey feeling and sense of nostalgia. So being extra friendly to them is most definitely justifiable. When Lisa caught me totally checking them out, she got angry and I thought she was just joking around and I tried to rub it in by taking it up another notch and I told her jokingly that we should have those two for dinner tonight and this was how Lisa reached her boiling point. Of course I didn’t ask them out, who you think I am? Some kind of pervert? Maybe but not that day.

That night after we reached our hotel, she got ready and headed to bed without even saying a word to me. Damn, she was really pissed. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I mean I was just fooling around and joking about the whole transvestite thing and it is completely absurd to think that for a moment that I could have be attracted to those kinds of species (no offense to those transvestites but I still think they are hot). Things got worse when she caught me not sleeping and fooling around with the computer all night. Again I can’t help it if I am not that normal when it comes to sleeping. Unlike everyone, I don’t need that much of sleep and as a matter of fact, it is not like I am doing anything bad on the computer like hacking a super computer or surfing any porn or posing as some idiot going around flaming celebrity blogger wannabe’s blogs. But I am just probably guilty of written destructive and distasteful articles filled with profanity and posting it on my blog for the world to read. But hell no, she had to wake up one morning (few days ago) to see what I was doing, and it just so happened to be the day which I had been approached by some sick dude on the MSN who calls himself “Linda” and claims to be a bisexual, he came up to me and asked me for sex. And on top of that, he even told me that he was masturbating while chatting, Lisa who sat beside me saw it all. Fuck that why does Lisa also have to see all the negative part of it and that really ticks her off.

She didn’t talk to me the whole morning at breakfast and even lunch, while we did shopping and while we took our rides to places we were suppose to go, she didn’t utter a single word. She was doing this whole Dr Hannibal’s silence psycho warfare with me that was driving me nuts. I tried flowers, chocolates, gifts and anything and everything I could pull off outta my ass and finally at dinner while we were seated in a Mexican restaurant, she finally broke the silence and said that if I want her to forgive me, I must do whatever she says. And without a thought I agreed to it 100% whole heartedly. I was to order the hottest Mexican chili and not only that, I had to ask the chef to make it extra spicy. Suddenly I recalled that Lisa‘s mother used to rub chili padi on her mouth when she was a kid to punish her for being naughty and now I knew what she was up to. She wanted to teach me a lesson. Hey, but coming from Malaysia and I was brought up by a grandmother who inhales chili, it would be a no sweat situation for me, but of course to let her have her pride, I would have to find the inner Oscar winning actor in me to convince her that it was going to be hell for me.

So as my Mexican chili arrived, trying not to giggle and trying hard to put up a worry look on my face. I took a big spoon of that Mexican thing and place it on my tongue. WTF!!! This shit that I just put on my tongue feels like bloody lava fresh from a volcano. Suddenly I realized that this bowl of chili is actually a chunk of hell served in a bowl. My face turned red and I could have sworn smoke was coming out through my ears. Lisa after seeing that I ate something that which is not fit for human consumption, she asked me to stop at my third spoon but being a man of my word, I refused and I took it in like a man or should I say like a fool. But a fool that wants to show Lisa that I am sorry for what I have done and will go to hell and back just to show her that I mean it. So with watery eyes I finished the whole fucking bowl.

At the end of the day before we dosed off, I asked Lisa that did she got all soft inside and was touched by my heroic act of taking the punishment by eating the whole bowl of Mexican chili? She placed her arms and head on my chest and then whispers into my ears, saying that the eating part wasn’t really the punishment. And it hits me, she knew that I had brought up eating chilies and the punishment is actually when the Mexican chili is going to come out from me and I will be in the toilet spitting fire outta my ass. Oh My Fucking Lord!!!! How come I didn’t see that coming?!!! Help!!! I am sharing a bed with a Jezebel…

Wondering what’s with the Klingon proverb shit?
Well read this:I am Proud to be a Heterosexual Trekkie

Now I know how it feels to be an M& M inside a mouth

16.08.08, 4am in the morning, I was still on my MSN chatting my night away. I couldn’t sleep. In fact I already picked what I was going to wear. Not to sound misleading but I didn’t want to fall asleep because within hours Lisa was going to be landing down, in fact I didn’t want to be late. Coming here for the first time and all alone, I just didn’t want her to wait for me and be all alone in a foreign land. I had like 6 cups of coffee since yesterday, talked to friends, bloggers and bitches on the MSN hoping that they would pumped more caffeine into me, just so that I could stay a awake for just a little longer. I called the Cab Company 3 times in the middle of the night just to make sure that the designated driver gets his ass here at 730am sharp so that I would reach the airport in time. Asked Cheeseburger Eddy which was the fastest way to the airport 5 times and found out that the 405 is the best way to get there. Even a week before, I went to the store to get her scarf so that she would freeze her neck when she reached here, I know it is not winter here in LA but still for a Malaysian, in this sort of weather, she probably will. I got her a pair of earrings, the moment I knew she was coming here, but at the very last moments before I leave for the airport, it just struck me that I should have gotten her flowers, but I was afraid I couldn’t get any at these hour of the time. Someone suggested that I get her a Kit Kat which I totally think doesn’t go well with the gift I got her from Tiffany’s & Co. Blue roses would definitely go well with the packaging that is why I scouted the whole fucking airport the moment I reached there to find blue roses that comes with a white ribbon.

You know it is funny that I was going around to most of the “Hawt” female bloggers leaving messages like “Oh No’s you iz so Hawt, I iz Meltzzz” when I don’t really know how it is to really feels to melt. But the moment Lisa stepped out from the arrival hall; I sure as hell know how it feels to be an M& M inside a mouth. God… How could I have forgotten how beautiful she looked, the same face that got me hanging in her waffle shack for 14 times in day. It’s been almost a month since I last saw her face and I can still feel butterflies flapping around me. All the tiredness, the negative thoughts about the engagement just sort of dissolved into thin air, even the air I breathe now seems to have certain sweetness. Suddenly my world seems to be a better place again, for me this is heaven.