how to convert .flv to .wmv so that you can watch porn during work

Have you ever felt like an idiot after knowing that what you wanted so badly was there all along? Thinking back on how many hours you spent searching for that something that you need and couldn’t find, made your mood like shit, binge and purge all day. The fucking truth is I was thankful the day I learned how to rip and download those videos from YouTube and thanks to Chingy who introduced me to the wonders of VLC media player (get it here for free yayy!!!) I was able to watch those downloaded .flv format videos. But the matter of the fucking fact is with .flv videos you can’t fast forward. Dragging the indicator on the video status bar would only stop the video and you have to watch the whole damn thing again. So being sick and tired of having to wait or having to watch the whole damn thing again, I set out to find a converter that could change .flv format videos to something else that would allow me to fast forward to parts which I miss and better yet compatible with my windows mobile, so that I can watch ‘em video clips on my pocket pc.

I Google, Yahoo, AOL and even risk my PC to search for a program within the P2P networks. (didn’t your Mama taught you to never use this P2P shit for programs or you will end up with a virus instead) All I end up is a couple of shareware which only allows you to convert for a certain amount of time period or time or they will limit your video conversion to about 5 minutes. I wasn’t really looking forward to pay for anything from the internet because I believe that things from the internet should be a free like MP3s, movies and porno. Well, that is just me; maybe after I start my own internet business I would think otherwise but for now, free is good. But the most motherfucking KNNCCB shit cock ass vagina thing about this whole donkey ass ordeal was after looking for a converter for months, I only realized I had the fucking program in my lappie all along. [Yeah, don't you dare laugh and you know who you are, you are just as blind as I was :p]

The fact that I have downloaded the free VLC player for playing .flv videos, it never fucking occurs to me that it is also a converter that could convert .flv files into .WMV, .AVI or MPEG all along. What The fucking Fuck!!! It is one of those days that made me feel like an ass. Anyway, if you are wonder how it is done, here’s a little guide to help you convert your .flv videos to WMV or AVI or any kind of shit format you want, so that you won’t have to wait and watch the whole fucking clip or better yet, you can convert them porno you downloaded from RedTube or YouPorn and watch it on your PDA or pocket pc underneath your desk, that will definitely get you outta trouble from your boss. You know what I mean…

Tutorial on how to convert .flv to .WMV

The first thing you need to do is load the .flv file that you wanna convert and press stop. Then go to the drop down file menu and then select wizard or press cltr+w


When you are at the Streaming/Transcoding Wizard menu select Transcode/Save to file and then click NEXT

In this Input menu select Existing playlist and then click NEXT

On the Transcode menu, tick and select the following and then click NEXT: (Refer to diagram below)


Upon reaching the Encapsulation format menu, choose ASF and then click NEXT

Lastly the most important thing to do when you reach this menu is that you MUST include the extension of your file when you save it. If your file name is “Ultraman”, save it as “Ultraman.wmv”


There you go, did I just make you life better? If so just enjoy the video on the right which is a trailer for my up and coming post, becoming ultraman.

I Heart Sex Wax: The Best for My Stick

It has been a little over two months and this animal urge inside me just keeps growing and growing. Ever since Lisa came down to LA, I never really have the privacy to explore different pleasures. But now I am finally alone; Just me, my hands, a towel, my long shaft and my newly purchased Sex Wax that I purchase in CaliPORNia - they told me that the wax would do miracles. I breathe heavily as I torn open he wrapper on the Sex Wax ,the words on the label caught my eyes, it says “The Best for your Stick”. Even though it was a warm morning with a temperature of 30’C, I could feel the chill of excitement that gave me goose bumps and left my nipples erected. So I wet my lips with my saliva and swallow the excess as I took the Sex Wax and prepare to rub one in all over my long and hard shaft. Man, I tell you this better give me a good tractor and grip because I pay good money for this shit right here.

FYI, Sex Wax has many uses but none of them are associated with sex or masturbation. Due to the product name, it became extremely popular, even among those who had never ridden a surfboard. And their slogans, "The best for your stick", is really something, it had me going for a while there, until I really found out what it is for. It is generally a wax where surfers rub it on top of their boards to allow better control of their surf board. But some drummers use it on their drum sticks for better grip, that is why I got one of them Sex Wax for our drummer. But for now, it has been too long since that last time I surfed, I just couldn’t wait to catch some wicked waves. You know a good song for me to rub wax all over my shaft and prepare to head out to the sea is Nazareth’s Hair of the Dog [Wondering how it sounds? Download it here]. My alarm clock is set and I just couldn’t wait for the time to turn 5am.


5am and with black caffeine injected into my system and AC/DC‘s Back in Black jacked into my brain, I was on my way to one of Kuantan’s lovely and hidden beach which we call the 3rd Bay which is located west of Methodist Bay. [Not much people know about this hidden beach only a handful of locals know about it, I actually stumble upon it while jungle trekking] My surfing guru Bodi once said that surfing is actually a very tribal and spiritual act and that surfers harvest the energy of the waves. That is why I have decided to adopt a tribal name, something that only my surfer friends can call me – “Kutubandai”. Anyway, Bodi also said that God has a sick sense of humor, and every now and then he likes to show men that how small they are by create a big Kahuna waves that makes your balls feels like raisin. But that isn’t the case today I guess, even up to 9am when Lisa came with my breakfast, the only waves I could catch were just these pathetic child play waves than makes the fake ass man-made waves in Sunway lagoon looks like tsunami waves.

Bummer, I thought I could at least show off in front of Lisa, but just look at how pathetic the waves are…Oh South China Sea where thou art your sting?

Anyway, today I am going to share the anatomy of the waves known to surfers, so if you are planning to take up body surfing, you might wanna read up a bit about this: (refer to the picture below)



1 The Soup
Also known as the “inside”, this is the spot where the waves have already broken down and moves to the beach in a mass of rolling white water or what the Chinese would call it wave flowers. If you haven’t got your surfing cherry popped yet, this is the spot to be for virgin surfers.

2 The Peak
This is where the wave reaches the peak and starts to break. Wait here to catch the waves. It is the unsaid rule for surfers that the surfer closest to the breaking point goes first. If you try cutting in the cue before your time, you might end up with a fat lip and a black eye. Remember to follow the lead of experience surfers, if you don’t know who the fuck is the experience one, don’t worry that means it isn’t you and what the fuck are you even doing here, go back to No.1 the soup, you virgin.

3 The Impact Zone
This is no man’s land, the spot between No. 2 the Peak and No. 1 the Soup. It is the place the most dangerous place to be because this is where the wave unloads majority of its power and you wouldn’t want to be caught in its wrath.

4 The Shoulder
It’s the unbroken part of the wave, usually left of right of the peak. This is the great place for intermediates to practice.

5 The Outside
Located beyond, where waves that is so great that it means your balls feels like raisin type of waves break. What I am saying is this is where the tsunami type of waves will appear. Patience is the key because the big ones are few and far apart, sometimes you might not even get one in one whole day. This place is solely for the elite surfers and also surfers with a death wish like xniquet.

6 The Channel
This is the safe and easiest route to paddle out to the peak and beyond. To safely head out to the peak, always look for darker patch of the water because that means that means water is deeper there and fewer wave breaks there.




So remember to look me up if you are in Kuantan for surfing, I am always ready for a good ride and I plan to start a surfing school too but currently I am only accepting hot chic dressed in bikinis :D

Perfect Day

It started with breakfast in bed; you know you gotta beat the clock when you have a fiancé who likes to cook too. Usually the one who gets up earlier gets to make breakfast and for this I remain victorious. It was a simple breakfast – toast with yogurt and freshly slice strawberries, black coffee and The Commodores’ Easy playing on the stereo.

I actually been planning for this day for some time now, you know spend a quiet peaceful day with Lisa. Instead of going to over rated places and fancy restaurant with vintage wine and expensive truffles and other grown up stuff. We actually wanted to relive our childhood days, wanting to rediscover our innocence. That is why it was a day filled with balloons, ice creams, cup cakes, horse carriage rides, toy shops, pet shops. And the day couldn’t end any better than going to a carnival filled with clowns, cotton candies, carousel and lame games that lets you win lame prizes. But I guess the prize isn’t the actual prize that you got when you win the game, but the memory and the fun that will last you a lifetime.


This is one of those days where it just move by so quickly and you wise that all the days of your life is like that. I never have thought I could find so much happiness in such simple things in life. It was such a perfect day for me, and I am glad I’ve spent it with Lisa; it just keeps me hanging on. If I was to sum up the day with a song, I think it would be Lou Reed’s Perfect Day.


here's a couple of version of the song for your downloading pleasure:

• Lou Reed - Perfect Day (1996 version)
• BBC -Perfect Day (1997 Version)
• Scala and Kalocny Brothers - Perfect Day (Choir Version)
  

You know, someone turned off the sun when my wife died 5 years ago and I never thought that it could come back on an ordinary day like this. If we are all made to heal, then why all the dreams of my past keeps washing to my shore? Every time when I could feel a slight pinch of happiness resurfacing in my life, I keep having dreams of my favorite time I have spent with my late wife and when I wake up to the cruel and cold reality, there will never be a single part of that cannot feel the infinite sadness and melon collie of losing someone you love. So I guess this is part of the answer to why I don’t sleep or why I do not try to even sleep.

P.S. If there is a song that I would like to be in my wedding, it would probably be Scala and Kalocny Brothers' Perfect Day.

I am the Space Nerd because I love Dune

The last few days have been like a step in to the world of Sci-Fi for me, one Sci-Fi movie series after another. But instead making me feel futuristic, I felt like I have taken a few steps backwards into retro land because most of the Sci –Fi motion picture that I saw was made almost 10 years ago. It started with the Star Trek marathon recently and yesterday I went on a little space odyssey by watching two version of Frank Herbert’s Dune. The visual effects was so obsolete and so close to lame, but it still got my glued to my seat the entire show, I mean how often do you see a fat man floating around in a space suit?



I never read the novel by Frank Herbert’s Dune, as a matter of fact the only time which I came to know about Dune was when the creator’s of Command and Conquer came up with a version of a real time strategy game called Dune 2000 and that seems light years ago. The only thing I could remember about the game was the pesky sand worm. But after watching the movies, it sorta came back to me and it was fun to see familiar stuff on the show. The first version of the show that I saw was a 4 hours TV miniseries; besides William Hurt I didn’t know anyone in the movie. The second version was a star studded 1984 production. It even has Patrick Stewart from Star Trek in it (even then he was bald, which makes me wonder if he ever has hair), Kyle Maclachlan (desperate housewives), Sting (singer) starred this movie.

[Free Download of the Game from Westwood Studio, thanks to www.xtremew.org]

Hey if y’all got 6 hours to spare, do check out one of these movies, I know the effects may be lame but the plot and the story is fucking good. You know after watching it those two Dune movies, I think I will be off to the bookstore to pick up the novel. And so this is how I became a space geek. But seriously, go watch Dune or pick up the novel, it’s all good.



Note: this is a Dune VCD from Malaysia, just look at the synopsis, doesn’t it makes you wanna laugh? Even the piracy in Malaysia is so low in quality.



Anyway, as the weekend is upon us, I am planning to have a nice quiet romantic day out with Lisa. I feel like she deserved one after all the shit she have to put up with me, so I am just going to make this weekend a special one for her.

Updated:

another milestone for xniquetx.blogspot.com for being top of google's search list for "Singapore Hamsup Blog". Yayy!!!

Strike Three and My Suicide Note

Dear everyone and the aliens who are spying on earthlings with their tiny satellite from outer space,


Current Mood: Alien paranoia due to Star Trek marathon
Suffering from: Depression due to post Nine Inch Nails concert trauma
Listening to: Nine Inch Nails - GHOST IV 32 [click to download]


I am looking at strike count number 3 here. First it was after I tried keeping up with Cheeseburger Eddy’s diet which landed me on the toilet seat more times than some of you ever get laid…wukakaka (joking, at least my sense of humor is still intact XD). The second strike was after endless sleepless nights of chatting on MSN and blogging plus the Hooter-rific hot wings that got me sick to my stomach. And now I got the flu from Lisa who has just recovered; Hell, I have been sick 3 times ever since I came here. It is more like I got sick almost every two weeks. WTF!!! I think my antibody is really going to hell ever since I recovered from my leg injury, which reminds me that I have a long due medical appointment. I should have been checking in with my doctor last month to see how my sepsis is doing but I guess it to wait till I get back.
Anyway, I am back in LA and staying with my buddy Cheeseburger Eddy in Pasadena. Besides being down with the flu, having dried up tangled hair, pale and peeling skin and dried up cracked lips which hurt when anyone tries to kiss it, besides that I am doing pretty good I think. I asked Cheeseburger Eddy to take Lisa out so that she could pick up some brochure and information to help us plan our trip up north of California to see them winery. And so I am home alone resting and armed with some flu capsule and my special medication in my flask. Even though it is 23 degrees here, but I am still having the chills which make it totally alright for me to have more of my special medication. *A mental note to myself, remember to fill in stronger stuff in my flask before Lisa gets back; i.e. Chili Vodka (God damn it, I am so in love with Chili flavored Vodka.). Even my fingers tips are peeling too, which makes it impossible for me to practice any guitar, so I guess I will be doing another movie marathon. And I just found a set of movies from Cheeseburger Eddy’s Laser Disc collection – The Omen I – IV.




xxoo,
x

P.S. If I don’t wake up due to the flu capsule and my special medication, just treat this as my suicide note.

P.S.S. If so, you can also add this to my most painless ways to commit suicide post.

P.S.S.S. Damn it, I hope I don’t die yet, because I look like crap now. I rather die when I am better and be a good looking corpse.


my ass is like an oil well
I am Afraid of America

Don't Go Away...Forever and a Day

Damn my education because I am just out of words to say to you right now, I am probably the biggest jerk who deserted you not once but twice. But believe me that it wasn’t about another person and it is not about loving you. It is just that I feel myself changing into another person each time I give in to you. I know it is for the better that you want me to change, but somehow I am just not ready to go there; I wasn’t ready to let go of all my pain, because all these pain are the only thing that makes me who I am today. I know I broke your heart the first time. But somehow, I think fate has a sick sense of humor when it brought us back again. After 9 months, right after you just broke up with your boy friend. It was entirely my fault to think that I could make it this time, again when you got too close to me, I find myself in the same position and I had to sew myself shut. I don’t know if you would ever understand it, but I hope that you would find a place in your heart to forgive me for not being able to go through with it.



It is just ironic that the favorite song that you always asked me to sing to you is Oasis’s Don’t Go Away when the thing that I was best in doing in our relationship was going away from you. If it is any consolation to you if I say that you have been the one who gave me the courage to sing again. I hope that you are doing well without me, because having me in your life equation just simply spelt disaster. Lastly, I thank you for introducing me into the world of blogging because without you, I wouldn’t have discovered the joy of blogging.

P.S. I don’t know what has gotten into me, because Oasis’s Don’t Go Away keeps playing in my ears and every time I pick up my guitar. That would be the first song that I play and i would play it as if the song was a lamentation.


Oasis - Don’t Go Away (LP Version + Acoustic Version) Click here to Download



Noel Gallagher from Oasis singing Don't Go Away - Chicago 1998.
It just couldn't get any better than this.
Written for his mother when she was near death.
Probably the most beautiful song by them.



xniquet-wiki article available for this person - Ah Ping



NOTE:
"The Die-ry of xniquet" will be kept in the hidden section of this blog, it can only be by those who subscribe to this blog's feed or through the hidden button which is found on this blog. The Die-ry of xniquet is a place to get personal with Mr. x, here most of his scandals and skeleton in the closet are brought into the light.