Snuff

playing on my iPod:
Snuff - Slipknot

An anonymous reader left a comment saying that this is a really sick blog, so I assume that when someone said that, he/she also meant the blogger too. It is so flattering, to have someone who really sees what this blog and blogger is all about. But I got news for you; this is what but a glimpse of the unfinished canvas of lunacy in my head. When I am finished painting that picture, you will be picking up your fucking jaw off the ground.

I felt the sweetest pain inside my body again today. I first felt it 2 nights ago, while I was on my knees thrusting a 22 year old veterinarian student from China (they are so easy, or should I say I am the one who is so easy?). The ironic part is that while she was lying there with her legs spread widely apart and screaming like she was in pain, I was the one who was feeling the pain. You know what, I hate screamers, not only are they fake; they give me a fucking headache. The pain I felt that night was far more intense than a virgin’s pain when they get their hymen busted; it was enough for me to instantly stop fucking the People’s Republic’s vagina, kick her and her bunched up cheap imitation of Victoria’s Secret lingerie off my bed and send them back to the fucking Ming’s dynasty.

After she has left, I thought lots of fluid and rest would do the trick but it only got worse when I started to piss blood. It wasn’t muscular pain, and it wasn’t my bones and sure hell wasn’t my fucking dick (if STD is what you are thinking). The pain felt like it was coming from within; like my internal organs was going to fucking explode. I can feel the cold piercing pain behind my lower back every time I take a deep breath. Something is changing from the inside; like a fucking vortex of shit swirling inside my body. I think my self-destructive lifestyle is finally going to reap what it sowed. Just like Michelle-Who-Doesn’t-Wanna-Die-of-Ebola, I don’t wanna fucking die in a sick bed; sic consulting a fucking physician would be the last thing on my list. For now a couple of Vioxx and washing it down with choruses of Jim Beam shots should reverse this continuum pain (I think).

A girlfriend told me that I looked like a discolored corpse these days but at least I am still in one piece and not decomposing yet.

If this is a snuff film in the making then I am patiently waiting for my rapture to deliver me to my fate and place me in perdition.

The Webcam Whores Strikes Back

I know I said the webcam is lame and I know I said that I wasn’t going to camwhore in front of the webcam with woawoa and THIS would be the last time. Yet I succumbed to a super psychic hot girl (name withheld because she doesn’t want to)who went all Hannibal Lecter on me and made me switch on my webcam. But somehow, I reckon I am not what the chic wants to see thru the webcam but rather woawoa (she is the chic magnet), darn it. Anyway, this is just another one of those lame updates to commemorate the lame actions that took place last night. What to do, I am still typing with one hands because my left hand is still sore and numb. Till then a short post would have to suffice in keeping my blogging monkey inside me happy and intact.

Last Halloween I Gave You my Face

Like every other year, xniquet.live is set for their annual Halloween performance; but this year we are doing it a little different, instead of a full band, we are running only on 3 members - Jane and Ming are out, and we are playing an acoustic set in Surfer’s clover ,Cherating. Instead of an indoor thing, it would be an open air beach side gig. Besides playing our own stuff, we are suppose to do some covers like Hinder’s Lips of an Angel and Slipknot’s Snuff which I wonder how am I going to pull it off. God damn it, I have less than a month to look for a free lancer who is willing to fill in the slot for vocals. With the acoustic set, I hope this time there will not be any flying beer bottles . If any one of you is interested in doing the vocals, please do email me. Till then, the stage isset and we are ready for an one hour of shame this coming Halloween. More Information will be posted later.

*pictures taken during practice session with a crappy webcam*

xniquet-wiki article available - xniquet.live(band)

Welcome to the Jungle: Unspoken Rules of the Jungle

I may have been into this thick jungle reserve many many times, but every time I come out from it, I will either end up in another location or I will manage to stumble on a different route to where I started. Right about now you might think that I am a pathfinder noob, but I tell you this jungle holds a lot of mysterious energy. The trees are old and most of them are hundreds of years old. The locals here believes that this jungle here is a concentration of wandering spirits because as development takes place, all the wandering spirits congregates at the least developed places. The Malays here said that in every tree in this jungle there will be a “Penunggu” or Keeper and whoever enters the jungle should respect it or they will suffer the consequences. Even though I don’t really buy this mambo jumbo thingy, but I do adhere to the unspoken rules.










Here is a few which you might know:


1.When you are doing your business there, always say excuse me before you pee or take a crap;

2.Never litter, burn or contaminate; never break, chop and clear a branches or bushes for no reason, unless you need to get to the other side;

3.If you are alone in the jungle and you hear someone calling you from behind, never turn behind and look, instead use something reflecting to check it out, to see if there is really someone before you turn back to look. That is why it is encouraged to bring a small mirror or something reflective to the jungle (I use the back of my iPod, isn’t iPod great?). If there is no one, I suggest you run like the wind;

4.Never attempt to stay overnight in the jungle alone, get the fuck outta there before sunset. Even if the wandering spirits don’t get you, some hungry animal might.; and

5.This is the most important one, never pick up foreign object in the jungle and never ever bring it back with you. You never know what you might bring back with you. The object might be vessel for something. The locals here believes that”Djin” or evil spirits lives in these objects. The Malays here believes that sometimes a “bomoh” (Malay medium) might cast vessels that contain evil spirits that they have captured into the jungle, therefore, bringing back some foreign object you found in jungle which you think might be a great deco piece in your room is a big NO NO. But if you already did, you might wanna look out for the symptoms:

i you start getting weird nightmares;
ii your luck just couldn’t get any worst;
iii you fall sick and the doctor doesn’t know what is wrong with you; or
iv you start to see things that you shouldn’t .


If you are suffering from the above, I think it is a good idea for you to visit your local witchdoctor to find out what the fuck did you just got yourself into.


I hope this doesn’t scare you from going jungle trekking. Just stick to the unspoken rules and you will be fine besides jungle trekking is such a great cardio workout and the air here is good for you too. You might be thinking that it is crazy to go jungle trekking these days because of the insane hot weather. But you know what, being in the jungle with it thick foliage; it almost felt like you are in an air conditioning room. It is way better than being in an air conditioning room because it air condition would only dry your skin and this doesn’t. Besides in the day time these trees produce plenty of O2 which is really good for your skin and delays aging. I know the last post and this post might bore you because it is just another ordinary day in my life but it is the simple things that I am beginning to miss doing. The thought of leaving here and head to LA to start anew still lay heavy in my heart. Even though I am used to the big city but deep down inside I am still a “Budak Kampung” (village boy) who enjoys the nature like the beach and jungle. Come on where in the world will I be able to find a hidden beach of my own to surf and go jungle trekking in the middle of the week?



Even though the jungle reserve is just five minutes from my house but I still I prepare myself before going, because you never know what will happen in there. So these are the basic stuff that I bring for any jungle trekking:

1.My trekking shoes
2.My short fingers multipurpose gloves, for RM89 it is one of the best investment, I use them for almost anything except biking because the wrist guard gets in the way.
3.My back pack to carry everything inside.
4.My hydro pack, this baby carries 2 litter of water, so I don’t of dehydration.
5.My protective glasses, in case I get into thick bushes.
6.My Maglite in case I don’t make it out the jungle before sundown.
7.My Walkie Talkie, don’t ask me why. Since it was always been in my back pack, I didn’t want to leave it elsewhere, so I brought it along.
8.My iPod, I told you I go everywhere with it, even my identity card is inside the leather casing.

I may feel relax in the jungle but nothings beats coming home to a nice soft bed, with a glass of California red, a nice book and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons playing on my headphone. Just ignore that telephone book like women magazine beside the bed. Those belong to Lisa. Anyway, on the right, you will find another short Vlog that I taken while passing by the mini zoo to get into the jungle. Meet Thunder Bob, that is what Mike used to call him, I am not sure if Thunder Bob still recognized me but just look at the video and you will see how excited he is or maybe he is just trying to maul me.

A Day in xniquet’s Busy Working Life

Sometimes I wonder how my life was going to be like if I am a clockwork white collar slave living in this laid back beach town. It’s been so long since I was a white collar plowing my ass off, but everything has changed since I came back to my home town. My routine are like biking, surfing, drinking, jamming with the band, play PlayStation or watch DVD till I pass out and repeat all over again and oh I miss something, blogging too. Life is so mundane back here, so much so that I have enough time to visit a cafeteria 7 times a day for two days, just to see a girl who later became my fiancé. But once every year, I get to play the role of a white collar slave and it is today. Because today is my company’s Annual General Meeting (AGM) where Shareholders and directors, company secretary and auditors are to hold a fucking meeting to adopt the year’s audited accounts, reappointment of auditor and other shit that they fucking list on the meeting’s agenda. It is so fucking boring, I wish they could just skip all the bullshit and fast forward to the part where I sign and leave; that would be great. I would have send my trusted proxy (woawoa) to attend the meeting on my behalf but she was just too busy barking at my neighbor’s chickens, so I just had to do it on my own. Besides I also wanted to know if there is any increment on the director’s fees. [Keeps finger cross].Like any other day, it started with me walking my proxy out to do her business and then a visit to my late wife’s resting place. Head home to do a little QiGong meditation and a working out to the Village People’s Macho Man. My breakfast this morning was GALI MEE (curry noodles)- It is a very common breakfast for the people in Kuantan and as usual my proxy will always be there when I am going to eat something.

These are the things that I brought to my meeting and every other day that I go in my office:

1 iPod:
A must have, I cannot live without it.

2 Pocket PC:
When I am in the toilet doing my business; I am particular fond of reading blogs in the toilet.

3 Sun Glasses:
In case it gets really sunny or I have to drive.

4 Cologne:
In case some dipshit decides to smoke in the meeting and leaving me smelling like ciggy.

5 Pens:
Obviously for writing and signing, duhhhh.

6 Flask:
the coffee in the office stinks, I need to add in something extra.

7 Purse:
I don’t use a wallet.

8 House phone:
my office is just across my house and I can get my house calls even when I am in the of

Meeting starts
*cricket sound*
ZZZzzZZZZZZZzzZZZzzzZZz
*snores*

Wakes up to sign papers and YAYY! It is over, after shaking the hands of the other directors and the rest of the people, I bid them good bye and see them next year. I walked across the one lane street and went into my house and had nuggets, sausages, toast with cheese, cauliflower and raw tomatoes for lunch. After which I continue to Sex Wax my surfboard and then proceed to the beach to surf.



The time was 7pm when I came back from the beach, only to be greeted by the orange sky. I don’t know about you, but it is pretty common here in Kuantan. After a nice warm bath, felt too tired to eat, so skipped dinner and did a finger exercise with the PS3. After that I decided to switch on my desktop only to do some blogging, only to be smack on the head by Lisa, who then send me off to bed after a cuppa Chamomile blend to help me sleep because I am suppose to wake up at 5am for surfing the next day. So I guess with her highness around, I won’t be able to produce as much post as I used to.Anyway, [*points to the right] enjoy episode one of the red groteskes TV which feature my proxy woa woa.

I am the Space Nerd because I love Dune

The last few days have been like a step in to the world of Sci-Fi for me, one Sci-Fi movie series after another. But instead making me feel futuristic, I felt like I have taken a few steps backwards into retro land because most of the Sci –Fi motion picture that I saw was made almost 10 years ago. It started with the Star Trek marathon recently and yesterday I went on a little space odyssey by watching two version of Frank Herbert’s Dune. The visual effects was so obsolete and so close to lame, but it still got my glued to my seat the entire show, I mean how often do you see a fat man floating around in a space suit?



I never read the novel by Frank Herbert’s Dune, as a matter of fact the only time which I came to know about Dune was when the creator’s of Command and Conquer came up with a version of a real time strategy game called Dune 2000 and that seems light years ago. The only thing I could remember about the game was the pesky sand worm. But after watching the movies, it sorta came back to me and it was fun to see familiar stuff on the show. The first version of the show that I saw was a 4 hours TV miniseries; besides William Hurt I didn’t know anyone in the movie. The second version was a star studded 1984 production. It even has Patrick Stewart from Star Trek in it (even then he was bald, which makes me wonder if he ever has hair), Kyle Maclachlan (desperate housewives), Sting (singer) starred this movie.

[Free Download of the Game from Westwood Studio, thanks to www.xtremew.org]

Hey if y’all got 6 hours to spare, do check out one of these movies, I know the effects may be lame but the plot and the story is fucking good. You know after watching it those two Dune movies, I think I will be off to the bookstore to pick up the novel. And so this is how I became a space geek. But seriously, go watch Dune or pick up the novel, it’s all good.



Note: this is a Dune VCD from Malaysia, just look at the synopsis, doesn’t it makes you wanna laugh? Even the piracy in Malaysia is so low in quality.



Anyway, as the weekend is upon us, I am planning to have a nice quiet romantic day out with Lisa. I feel like she deserved one after all the shit she have to put up with me, so I am just going to make this weekend a special one for her.

Updated:

another milestone for xniquetx.blogspot.com for being top of google's search list for "Singapore Hamsup Blog". Yayy!!!