I can't get the hold of her...

My day was great. Cheeseburger Eddy was a great host; with him you are always entertained and well fed. His fridge is like Walmart; there’s pizza, chicken wings and booze for dinner and nachos for supper and unlimited free flow of chocolate, candy, chips and soda. I tell you, if there was a state of emergency and we were trapped in. Instead of dying of hunger or I think we will die of heart attack or diabetes first before we starve to death. I know it is mean to say so, but I really gotta do something to help him change his diet. I don’t wanna see him dig his own grave with a fork and spoon. I had a wonderful rest and I woke up to a wonderful breakfast of cereal with half and half with some kick ass bacon (Americans just loves bacon for breakfast).

The first day at the guitar clinic was great, I was able to follow and carry out all the exercise and I’ve made some friends already. It was one of those days where everything just seems to be going your way, in other words everything was Zen.

And I have also found out why the fuck I couldn’t connect to MSN all this while: it wasn’t the connection, it wasn’t the program. It was just the stupid Internet explorer set to offline mode. All I fucking need to do is just un-tick it. [*Ma Chow Cibai Hai betul], so I will be back on MSN soon. And the connection here is superb too; I managed to download Bones and Bleach. [Did I tell you that Bones chic is so hot, damn it. Feel like biting her].

Looks like everything just seem to be going my way, but somehow something is just eating me up. You might think it is the whole engagement thing but to be honest, I have kicked that aside and put that on haul ever since I landed in LA. But I just can’t describe the feeling that I am feeling inside me, like it is eating me inside out. I told Lisa that I would call her every day but I just couldn’t seem to get through to her since last night. I know I am maybe just being too worked up; it’s only been like more than 14 hours 30 minutes since we talked, but somehow, I feel like I owe her that phone call. I have been trying to call her every moment I could when I was at the clinic but the no connection tone is really driving me crazy. I got the ringing percussion in my ear and some Indian guitarist from hell behind my shoulder playing the blues and the phone to the other and I just couldn’t get hold of Lisa, what the fuck is going on? I was thinking why the fuck can’t I get through. My head is messed up big time, I don’t know if I am just trying not to let her down and break my little promise because I know I was going to break a great big promise when I go back. Or am I just missing her and really falling for her? God Damn it, even my iPod is against me, it just keeps on playing songs from The Cure, a band which both of us like. Fuck me….I feel like crap now listening to The Cure’s There is No If and I am not going down alone, so here’s the link to download that song. Go download it, listen to it and join me in feeling crappy okie? Arggggh, I wonder if the lady whose voice is over the line saying “there is no connection “ever get any death threats? If not, she has one now.

*in French but don't bother looking for its translation