
![]() ![]() ![]() |
---|



Looks like everything just seem to be going my way, but somehow something is just eating me up. You might think it is the whole engagement thing but to be honest, I have kicked that aside and put that on haul ever since I landed in LA. But I just can’t describe the feeling that I am feeling inside me, like it is eating me inside out. I told Lisa that I would call her every day but I just couldn’t seem to get through to her since last night. I know I am maybe just being too worked up; it’s only been like more than 14 hours 30 minutes since we talked, but somehow, I feel like I owe her that phone call. I have been trying to call her every moment I could when I was at the clinic but the no connection tone is really driving me crazy. I got the ringing percussion in my ear and some Indian guitarist from hell behind my shoulder playing the blues and the phone to the other and I just couldn’t get hold of Lisa, what the fuck is going on? I was thinking why the fuck can’t I get through. My head is messed up big time, I don’t know if I am just trying not to let her down and break my little promise because I know I was going to break a great big promise when I go back. Or am I just missing her and really falling for her? God Damn it, even my iPod is against me, it just keeps on playing songs from The Cure, a band which both of us like. Fuck me….I feel like crap now listening to The Cure’s There is No If and I am not going down alone, so here’s the link to download that song. Go download it, listen to it and join me in feeling crappy okie? Arggggh, I wonder if the lady whose voice is over the line saying “there is no connection “ever get any death threats? If not, she has one now.
*in French but don't bother looking for its translation