Tasty Crap

Alright, this is really going to be a hit and run post because I am still trying to juggle with my current lifestyle. Since I have switched on my rant mode, I'm just gonna briefly rant to y'all about what the fuck happened the fucking day before and yesterday. I'm not proud about my ranting but before I turned my blog permanently into a blog that reeks of emo-ness, I think I should blog about something else besides all the shit storm that is bombarding me.


So as I promise, this is going to be short...


You see the day before, a friend brought over some braised tofu for my dad and me; it was the best tofu we have ever tasted; it even got me and my dad talking about it at night, so we came to an accord that we just gotta have some more of that tasty motherfucker the next day. I gave my friend a call and asked her for the directions. That night both of us went to bed with the widest grin because we knew tomorrow we are going to have some more of that tasty tofu.


After my morning run at the gym, both of us headed to that place. Our first impression was how the fuck such a shit hole like this could ever produce such tasty tofu? Look at the fucking tables, it hasn't been cleared for don't know how long. The black dots on the table weren’t grime, its bloody flies.

When we sat down, the table across us looked like this. Half an hour later after we've done, the table was still looking like that but only with a little more flies on it.


Look at how clean these are; we are supposed to use it. I remember that was the case when I went for Hokkien noodles near Kota Raya(KL), the clean chopsticks came with a pieces of vegetable sticking to it but at least the people there give us a pack of tissue to wipe it. Here, you're fucking on your own.

It was like a fucking safari here but the only species on the loose were flies. The flies here have no fear of human at all. As soon as any food comes, they’ll come too. You can swat them off as many times as you want but they are just gonna come back right at you. So, you just gotta chase them off as you eat and when you get tired, those fuckers will just hang around your plate.

Seriously, the fucker selling this tofu thinks their tofu is really that good that they don't really need to give a shit about food presentation. Well, I can adhere to that but my threshold has been passed when you serve me with crap looking like this.

I don't care if you don't serve it to me in a silver platter but as least have the decency to give me a tofu that is whole, not pieces of crap that looks like someone have just taken a bite from it and on top of it someone’s curry puke.


Fuck you, if you think the taste of the crap you sell can overshadow the way it looks. Even my dog eats better looking crap than that.

And fuck you again, I'm not coming back here for your tasty crap.



*Opppps, this wasn't that short after-all.

McAss Buffet at Billabong Pro Am 2008

playing on my iPod:
Used To Love Her (But I Hand To Kill Her) - Voodoo Glow Skulls

It was a fucking lovely Monday morning when I got my ass outta bed. I was at the verge of exploding in my pants not because I had a wet dream but I had to fucking pee. My body was one big fucking sore because of the 3 days of sun, sand, surf and sweet ass bitches at the Billabong Pro Am surfing fest. I was too damn tired to prepare breakfast and my body was already serving gastric juice to my tummy. Seeing that it was the Chinese festive season of Gluttonous balls, there weren't many stall opened today and I wasn't in the fucking mood for spicy and hot stuff, so the thought of Indian and Malay food was completely out. The only sane thing to do was to head up to Mickey D's at the beach. To be frank, I haven't dine at Mickey D's for a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long time. If you ask me how many fucking long is that, I would say too fucking long. So I went up to the fucking cashier that looks like a transvestite and I ordered a large set of McChicken and then I saw the Prosperity Burger thing that fucking comes with a set of curly fries; fuck that I just gotta have that too because I simply love curly fries. It always reminds me of pubic hair and I love pubic hair, who the fuck doesn't? So I fucking ordered 2 sets (because I like to party). When McTranny came up with the fucking bill, McCibai!!! When did 2 sets of value meal cost RM30+? McMotherfucker, the last time I had a McValue meal it was still under RM10.


Anyway, whatever has been done been done, so I sat down on a table facing the sea and try to fucking enjoy my McRip-off meal. Man, it was a big fucking McMistake for ordering 2 sets, I was full right after my third bite on my McChicken and I haven't even started on my fucking Prosperity burger. But it would be a McShame to waste it, so after 1 hour and 15 minutes, I manage to gobble up every McGoddamn thing on my fucking tray and it made me fucking sick. As I was driving home I was having McNausea, I could McThrow Up anytime. I really don't want to do that, at least not in my spanking new car that I just got less than 2 months ago. I ain't McBulimia or McAnorexia but when I open the fucking car door, I immediately threw up all over my house porch. There was so much McVomit all over my fucking porch. And this was how I fucking remember why the fuck I have been staying away from McfuckingDonalds all this while.


Anyway, like I told you that I just came back from Cherating from the 3 days of the Inaugural Billabong Pro Am surfing, an event which I couldn't take part in because of my injuries I got last April. But I manage to do a little surfing and mingling around. I met surfers from all over the world, especially sweet ass Megan. She was so fine that I wanted to sink my teeth in her; she was almost like a supermodel only with a little more breast and ass. She was one few people like me whom share the same love of tattoos, biking, Patrick Star and fucking. Alright she didn't say fucking but who doesn't like to fuck? I spent most of the nights there with her drinking and dancing the night away to Ska punk but that was just it. So now I leave you with some pictures from the event. Instead of taking pictures of people surfing, I decided to be a pervert and take pictures of people's asses.






I guess the heat of the sun turned me into a pervert after all and so there's all the ass I have for you this time . To those celebrating the upcoming festivity, have a merry fucking xmas.

Bukit Antarabangsa: Fuck that, I Wanna See Some Angry Fist Pumping

playing on my iPod:
Thousand Mile Wish - Finger Eleven

Comes the monsoon season, it is the norm for the not so rich people living in rural areas to fear floods. Most of the time the cold and cruel rain would wash away all these people have and eventually force them move into a common shelter as they watch the rain wash away what riches they have accumulated throughout the years. It is the rich who build their fucking château on hills that watched it from afar on their hundred channels cable plasma TV as they sip their warm Earl Grey and savor their short butter cookies. But what we fucking witness at Bukit Antarabangsa last Saturday have given them a reason to fear the monsoon. They don't feel safe living in their hill top panoramic view houses with thick ass concrete walls supported by fucking Corinthian columns, heavy stainless steel gates and thousand dollar alarm system anymore because no longer are they spare from the cruelty and destructive side of nature.


All eyes are spotlighted on the pile of rumble in Bukit Antarabangsa. If you are a Malaysian, you should know what the fuck happened, you should know the statistics, you should bloody know what went down on that god forsaken land; unless you are blind and deaf and couldn't even read a single word in Braille. In my living room watching but I am not laughing, thinking the next one could be me. But I am sorry if I don't feel sympathetic with those who are affected but I do envy those who lost their lives; their televised death will definitely not be in vain because it would bring about a change.


Or will it not?


Just look back at the fall of the Highland Towers 15 years ago; I was in my early teens when they show the two corpses (one without a head) holding each other on TV, that god forsaken image burned into my head and still haunts me until this day. Yet, such morbidness and gruesomeness has been forgotten as the only thing that is on their fucking mind and that keeps them horny is making profit. The fucking government is already formulating a fucking plan to cover their asses as their fucking religious department would only back them up by saying it is all the will of their God. Other chicken shit religion like the Christians would keep their fucking mouth seal tight and just ask everyone to grieve and pray for them victims. Leaving the scare and angry victims who just lost their fucking homes feeling like virgins being cheated of their chastity; while those fucking construction companies and corrupted government agencies are laughing their way to the bank and cashing their big fat cheques.



Updated: Just like what we fucking expected, Datuk Seri dipshit Ong Ka Chuan, Malaysia's Minister of Housing and Local Government said that the landslide is not a fucking result of human negligence. We fucking knew that was coming.


Fuck that. I wanna see some angry fist pumping. Take back what is yours, even if it means cracking a few riot police's red helmet to get it done. I wanna see red; I wanna see the corrupted son of bitches' burn like witches on stakes. Democracy is not won by the senseless rambling of senile parliament members but the motherfucking fist of the people smashing against the face of the corrupted oppressor.

And So this is How the Malaysian Government is Lying to the People

It is hard not to be glue to your TV at 8pm these days; everyone wants to find out what new sensational news on the Malaysia’s politic scene. Even at a family gathering at Lisa’s place, we were not spared by talks of politics and the prime time news. As we were flipping channels between the Malaysian TV channels RTM 1 and TV3 and the rest of the channel that was playing the evening news. They were showing the press conference by Teresa Kok who was a unjust victim of the Malaysia’s ISA and was released earlier that day. FYI, Radio Televisyen Malaysia or RTM is a Malaysian government-owned public broadcaster As of 2007, RTM controls about 17% of the television viewing market in the country, behind Media Prima ( TV3 and other shit channels) with 54% and Astro (Malaysia’s only cable) with 29%.[source wikipedia]

On RTM1, they showed the footage of Teresa Kok’s press conference hours after she was released without any sound but with the newscaster reading about the news, saying that the Malaysia Police had treated her well; whereas on TV3, they actually showed the footage of Teresa Kok where she told the press that she was ill treated. She was hand cuffed and questioned like a criminal for hours and the food that they gave her was somewhat equivalent to food people gave their dogs - She only had two half cook eggs, gravy and some slices of cucumber for lunch and dinner. Which I think she was wrong in saying that because these days people feed their dogs better than that, ask woa woa . But that is not the point, I mean here we see RTM which is owned by the government twisting the truth. So does the government have to go so low, just to make themselves look good? And they go around arresting and detaining people who reports the fucking truth? Hey, if your police squat is so fucking righteous, why you don’t go arrest your own TV station for bending the truth, dip shits. So I urged everyone who is reading this to never believe what RTM is reporting because the stench of the BN led government is all over it and what they report is full of crap. The government are merely using RTM to cover their ass. RTM is shoving crap up the people’s head and the fucking government is suppressing the only truth that the people got by intimidating and arresting reporters and bloggers. So all you’s on the outside, please tell me, where the fuck is the integrity of a broadcaster to disseminate un-bias and truthful news to the people? Fuck it, I am leaving soon Malaysia soon.

The Malaysia that We Know is Sick

Happy Fucking Independence Day Malaysia; how ironic it is to be celebrating it when after 51 years of self proclaiming of independence, your people still doesn’t feel a bit of independence at all. The freedom of the people is being repressed; people live constant fear to voice out their opinions. A blogger can’t even have the freedom to voice out their opinion and views without being harassed by the government and the police. The government and police puts so much emphasis on tracking, arresting these bloggers who are merely voicing out their opinions while neglecting their real duty in combating crime, bribery and shitting governing of this country. While bloggers are prosecuted for their unpopular remarks that are being made in their blog, why aren’t political leaders and other dipshits with unpopular, racist and condemning remarks made on other media not brought in for questioning and prosecution? i.e. that UMNO dipshit from Bukit Bendera who made a racist remark that Chinese are temps in Malaysia. Another episode of creating hatred towards the government is when The Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission ordered the 19 Internet service providers (ISPs) in the country to block the Malaysia Today website. This is yet another form of repression of the people. When one of us is in chains none of us are ever free.

It is clearly that democracy and the voice of the people in this country doesn’t exist in the sight of the current government anymore. Have the government forgotten that he who governs must first must listen to those who are being governed? The people feel repugnant by the act of the current government, Independence Day will and never have any more meaning to us the younger generation until a reformation is being made in this country. Do not expect us to respect until we are being treated with respect. There is nothing to be proud of being a Malaysian anymore as long as Malaysia continues to be governed by a bunch of incompetent and mindless monkeys. The government should stop being such a loser and give us the bloggers a chance to voice out and criticize and give constructive comments. Instead of arresting us, listen and take in what could be done to improve this sick country that we fucking live in. One thing the fucking government must know that we the bloggers are for this country, that is why we voice out our concern, yet they go against us and treat us like fucking criminals. And so with our fist and fucking middle finger we are here to say FUCK YOU and your stupid ways of running the country.

Malaysia is sick because of your doing, unless changes are being done, I am afraid that the people will no longer love this country anymore. So while you celebrate this day, remember those who had given their lives to free this country 51 years ago; have you no shame in running their dream of a better Malaysia down the fucking gutter?

Fuck you and have a Happy illusive Independence Day!

Indie Day Post

Nice going on Avril's Ban, You Just Made Malaysia a Joke to the World

I have never been much of a Avril Lavigne fan but the shit that is coming out from the people who banned her concert is far too great, I can smell it even in California. This is by far the dumbest thing that PAS could ever have done. They are just so full of shit, can someone put a cork up theirs before we all get drowned in their shit. And to think that the people who bought the tickets and couldn't go for Avril's concert are the pitiful victims? Well, I have news for you, this goes way further than just teenagers crying because their idol isn't coming. The victims are actually the Malaysians who are currently outside their country and they at being laughed at. To foreigners Malaysia is a fucking joke. "Fuck you, the country you come from is run by a bunch of mindless monkeys and why should I even think any better of you?" I tell this is the time where there is no fucking pride in being a Malaysian, it gets worst when you're in the music industry and you are trying to make it in a foreign country. Nice going dipshit.


for those who doesn't know what those fuckers did click here...

"guess you cannot win with the color of your skin"

for those who doesn't know click here


And all the students sing…


Hey man, please don’t make a sound,
Take a fucking look around.
Can’t fucking see what is in front of you?


You know cannot win
With the color of your skin,
I'm afraid we're gonna ask you to leave.


This is just another case,
YOU PEOPLE still don't know your place.
Step aside, out the way, wipe that smile off your face


10% is just out of the case
Cause we are always get left behind
while our country is being run by swine


FUCK OFF
this Congkak party isn't for all.
cos we are the chosen one!!!




Some views:

UITM come out cannot find work properly..All work in factory, so anyone wanna have a good future inside a factory then go UITM!

Edi神 on Aug 13 08 at 12:45 pm

One banner says: “10% = 12,000 non-Bumi — Malays’ and Bumis’ rights are being denied” That’s just stupid. If 10% is 12,000 … 90% is 108,000! How’s that denying Malay rights?! UiTM students can’t do math or what.. I’ve got questions for those protesting. If you’re born a non-Bumi, are you still gonna join the protest? Can you control what race you’re born into?! their graduates don’t just get into factories. They get into government agencies. Why? Because the govt sponsored them so they have no choice coz their sponsored grads can’t find jobs, so the govt needs to hire them as a last resort, otherwise they’ll lose face. That’s why our govt is so efficient lah. Powered by UiTM grads.

akc on Aug 13 08 at 1:29 pm

one must excel academically to enter university! You study, you score, you rate yourself against other, you came out cream of the crop, you go university, and you repeat your struggle there again. Ini Malaysia manyak bagus, university place is more or less a birth right to the Malays. Wah seh, results not good, nehmind…still can go university cos quota still manyak kosong. Got quota, still not enough! must have a uni specially built for Malay, so that the Malay can play congkak with the Malay only. Malaysia BOLEH!! Only a graduate from UMNO can think of such excellent solution to the Malay problem. Tak dapat compete dalam persekolahan? takpe, kita bikin uni bagi diaorang yang tak boleh compete. what more can they think of? in future, tak dapat compete dalam pekerjaan? takpe, kita bikin tempat kerja kasi diaorang hisap darah dari perniagaan lain dalam ini Malaysia Boleh….wait a minute…sounds like they have already done that!!! I say, if you are poor but excel academically, the govt should help regardless of race. If you are stupid, just face it, no amount of university course can help you that a polytecnic class cannot. But u and i know la…who invented the phrase ‘GAYA MESTI ADA’! I heard there are good use for UiTM’s graduation certificate. Mamak! Meja tak stabil la..tolong bawa kertas besar besar selit kat kaki ni. kekeke…. U see, i know there are also stupid chinese and stupid indians. The reason they are not mentioned here is that these stupidos dont have a stupid uni built for them.

ycg on Aug 13 08 at 4:58 pm

Love with Teeth

Now, every time I listen to Pearl Jam’s version of Soldier of Love which goes “Lay down your guns and surrender to me”, chill to spirals down my spine. I know this post might be the total opposite of what I wrote yesterday, but sometimes the whole notion of getting married and living together really gets to me. My free spirit just feels like it is going to be lock up in a cage despite of its rage. When I just close my eyes, a hundred million thoughts flocks my mind. You know the type of thoughts where you feel like your routine in life has been disrupted, feeling being directed into another direction. The destructive person inside me has been forced to change into someone who thinks about consequences, which is a good thing, but not necessary comfortable. I want to break out of the mundane, I don’t want to just be another one who takes the plunge and then bites the dust. My thoughts just couldn’t stop revolving around the things that is changing around my life. It is not big things; it is just the itsy bitsy details in life that had been disrupted since I got engaged. When I first told Her that even though she isn’t moving in to stay with me, she could at least move in some stuff of her personal stuff into my room so that it would be easier for her. I wanted to make her feel that she was already part of my life; I know it is my on doing for asking her to do so…



Guys are spontaneous and lively beings who are really logic when it comes to arranging their CDs while girls are just how you say – totally systematic logic. I tend to put all the good stuff I listen on the top left of my shelf and all the crappy stuff which I listen to in dog years will be on the bottom right of the CD shelf. But when I wanted to look for my U2 Zooropa CD I couldn’t find it fast because She have already arranged my CD in alphabetical order. I had to be on my hands and knees to get that CD and you know with the amount of CDs I have it would take me sometime before I reach the “U” section.



Have you ever wonder why is the female magazine so fucking thick? I thought magazine was supposed to be thin and easy to bring around so that you can read it whiles you crap or lay down on your bed. But why do some magazines has 840 pages?? I don’t think they should be called Vogue magazine, they should be called Vogue novel or something, but wait, now I see, it can’t be called a novel because the magazine isn’t full of words; it is full of bloody adverts and pictures. I thought women being the self proclaimed more intelligent being that loves to read more than the male are big time reader; they are just the same, while they complain that men lust at picture of women with large breastsssss, women lust at a while different kind of porn from Louis Vuitton hand bags to Prada shoes to Channel Sunglasses to makeup stuff and shit like that. But it was my own fault that my bed side table is filled with telephone book size girlie magazine because I ask Her to bring a couple of her magazine just in case I had to “work” late on my Lappie or PS3 and don’t have the time to entertain her.



Being label as a man’s man by my friends I tend to keep that title and reputation, being a mountain bike, surfer and jungle trekker, you just gotta keep up with the macho taste in everything you do and own to hold on to that title. And that means your DVD collection too, a real man has got to have movies that promote blood, gore, horror, sex and violence in their collection and not lovey dovey tear jerking movie, but I do have to admit I still watch them but I just don’t collect them. Throughout the years, I have been very careful in choosing what is going to be in my DVD collection, for example all the movies that Quentin Tarantino had made, Japanese samurai cult movie that had been banned, i.e. Shogun assassin, my personal favorite a Korean movie call Old Boy (loves it when the hero removes the villain’s teeth one by one with a hammer) and also any anime that promotes sex and violence is all good for my collection. But when I found movies like Titanic, You Got Mail, Must Love Dog or Made of Honor in this collection, I realized that I am slowly turning soft. Even in the concert section of my DVD collection, Celline Dion doesn’t go too well with Korn , Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and AC/DC ‘s concert. Fuck that, I think I am going to lose my title.



And it comes to a boil when I stepped on my plane to LA; took out my iPod and played it on shuffle because I didn’t have any song to listen to at that time. I nearly fell off my fucking seat when Back Street Boys singing inside my fucking ears. Now even my music library has been changed.



I know you might think that it is just overreacting and with love there sure be a compromise. But I just seem to get these telephone calls from my heart, making me realized that sometimes it is just no okie. I try to level it off and trying to understand that I am just going through a phase but something inside tells me it is just not the same. I have been alone for far too long and sharing my life with someone is something that I am not sure I could handle right now, so remember to wave your hands when you see my drown in this and listen to me scream quietly…



xniquet-wiki article available - Lisa

I am Afraid of America

…..

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

CHEESEBURGERING:

O hai, you likes my new template? for more cheeseburgerz misadventure please visit herez, kthxbai!

I am afraid of America, why the fuck is that? Because the last two times I was here I got really sick. The first was when I traveled to Denver to attend a friend’s funeral. I had a fever so fucking bad that after I read my friend’s blog, I dream about his comic character chewing me up over and over again. It was like I was trapped in a comic strip limbo and now this, a bad case of food and cheese overdosed. Imagine all the rich and cheesey food you can ever think off and cramped them in 2 days and this is what you get – food coming out in reverse form the mouth and partial digested food spraying out from your anus. I tell you it ain’t a pretty sight. I really can’t keep up with Cheeseburger Eddy; he is already immune to this type of diet- high fat, high sugar, and high calorie diet. Shit on me, I am beginning to dread America. The land of the freedom - freedom to eat whatever shit you want and then get sick. Just two days of this stomach abuse, I feel constantly full but I just feel like a slump. i hardly have any energy to move. Just like a petrol car that has been filled up with diesel, I am constantly lying down of tiredness, but the weird thing is, I am beginning to develop a craving for more fast food even though I am full. So I guess that is why I am so fucked up right now. I reached my breaking point when Cheeseburger Eddy told me about how the American came up with the world’s most unhealthy Cheeseburger – The Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger – which has about 1000 calorie per burger.

We decided to come up with our own version of it. Instead of using Krispy Kreme donut, we bought some salty Chinese bun or “Ham Jim Peng” from Chinatown to be the bun of the cheeseburger. Here is a little side track, The Salty Chinese bun is a relatively famous bun and is soldin almost all the Chinatown around the world. It is made outta flour and then deep fried in a lot of oil. The name Ham Jim Peng means salty bun is often used to describe the private of a women or vagina. Even though the shape of the bun doesn’t resemble the vagina but scholar argues that the taste of the bun is somewhat similar to the women’s vagina. Of course, only those who have tasted both the bun and the vagina would only know.

Anyway, this is what we come up with, the Ham Jim Peng Cheeseburger which both of us had one each, after which I got real sick and my ass turned into an Iraqi oil well...and in the famous words of Cheeseburger Eddy....THAT IS THE TRUTH with CHEESE ON TOP!

I can't get the hold of her...

My day was great. Cheeseburger Eddy was a great host; with him you are always entertained and well fed. His fridge is like Walmart; there’s pizza, chicken wings and booze for dinner and nachos for supper and unlimited free flow of chocolate, candy, chips and soda. I tell you, if there was a state of emergency and we were trapped in. Instead of dying of hunger or I think we will die of heart attack or diabetes first before we starve to death. I know it is mean to say so, but I really gotta do something to help him change his diet. I don’t wanna see him dig his own grave with a fork and spoon. I had a wonderful rest and I woke up to a wonderful breakfast of cereal with half and half with some kick ass bacon (Americans just loves bacon for breakfast).










The first day at the guitar clinic was great, I was able to follow and carry out all the exercise and I’ve made some friends already. It was one of those days where everything just seems to be going your way, in other words everything was Zen.



















And I have also found out why the fuck I couldn’t connect to MSN all this while: it wasn’t the connection, it wasn’t the program. It was just the stupid Internet explorer set to offline mode. All I fucking need to do is just un-tick it. [*Ma Chow Cibai Hai betul], so I will be back on MSN soon. And the connection here is superb too; I managed to download Bones and Bleach. [Did I tell you that Bones chic is so hot, damn it. Feel like biting her].
















Looks like everything just seem to be going my way, but somehow something is just eating me up. You might think it is the whole engagement thing but to be honest, I have kicked that aside and put that on haul ever since I landed in LA. But I just can’t describe the feeling that I am feeling inside me, like it is eating me inside out. I told Lisa that I would call her every day but I just couldn’t seem to get through to her since last night. I know I am maybe just being too worked up; it’s only been like more than 14 hours 30 minutes since we talked, but somehow, I feel like I owe her that phone call. I have been trying to call her every moment I could when I was at the clinic but the no connection tone is really driving me crazy. I got the ringing percussion in my ear and some Indian guitarist from hell behind my shoulder playing the blues and the phone to the other and I just couldn’t get hold of Lisa, what the fuck is going on? I was thinking why the fuck can’t I get through. My head is messed up big time, I don’t know if I am just trying not to let her down and break my little promise because I know I was going to break a great big promise when I go back. Or am I just missing her and really falling for her? God Damn it, even my iPod is against me, it just keeps on playing songs from The Cure, a band which both of us like. Fuck me….I feel like crap now listening to The Cure’s There is No If and I am not going down alone, so here’s the link to download that song. Go download it, listen to it and join me in feeling crappy okie? Arggggh, I wonder if the lady whose voice is over the line saying “there is no connection “ever get any death threats? If not, she has one now.


*in French but don't bother looking for its translation