I am Afraid of America

…..

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

CHEESEBURGERING:

O hai, you likes my new template? for more cheeseburgerz misadventure please visit herez, kthxbai!

I am afraid of America, why the fuck is that? Because the last two times I was here I got really sick. The first was when I traveled to Denver to attend a friend’s funeral. I had a fever so fucking bad that after I read my friend’s blog, I dream about his comic character chewing me up over and over again. It was like I was trapped in a comic strip limbo and now this, a bad case of food and cheese overdosed. Imagine all the rich and cheesey food you can ever think off and cramped them in 2 days and this is what you get – food coming out in reverse form the mouth and partial digested food spraying out from your anus. I tell you it ain’t a pretty sight. I really can’t keep up with Cheeseburger Eddy; he is already immune to this type of diet- high fat, high sugar, and high calorie diet. Shit on me, I am beginning to dread America. The land of the freedom - freedom to eat whatever shit you want and then get sick. Just two days of this stomach abuse, I feel constantly full but I just feel like a slump. i hardly have any energy to move. Just like a petrol car that has been filled up with diesel, I am constantly lying down of tiredness, but the weird thing is, I am beginning to develop a craving for more fast food even though I am full. So I guess that is why I am so fucked up right now. I reached my breaking point when Cheeseburger Eddy told me about how the American came up with the world’s most unhealthy Cheeseburger – The Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger – which has about 1000 calorie per burger.

We decided to come up with our own version of it. Instead of using Krispy Kreme donut, we bought some salty Chinese bun or “Ham Jim Peng” from Chinatown to be the bun of the cheeseburger. Here is a little side track, The Salty Chinese bun is a relatively famous bun and is soldin almost all the Chinatown around the world. It is made outta flour and then deep fried in a lot of oil. The name Ham Jim Peng means salty bun is often used to describe the private of a women or vagina. Even though the shape of the bun doesn’t resemble the vagina but scholar argues that the taste of the bun is somewhat similar to the women’s vagina. Of course, only those who have tasted both the bun and the vagina would only know.

Anyway, this is what we come up with, the Ham Jim Peng Cheeseburger which both of us had one each, after which I got real sick and my ass turned into an Iraqi oil well...and in the famous words of Cheeseburger Eddy....THAT IS THE TRUTH with CHEESE ON TOP!

huh?

how come this blog (which was claimed by her yes this blog is a she rightful ownder to be full of shits and fucks and such) turned into a political blog? O_o

in just one night.

i shall dissoaciate myself from this blog in case my sponsor comes across this page and finds out.

RATE ME


heaven





hell

x is gone...

:(



i am sad. x has gone for a family trip in taiwan and now i am left all alone here.

i am soooooooooooooooo going to miss him. sniff.

how could you leave me stuck alone in msn?! :'(

just kidding. seriously you think i gonna be sad with him gone ka? hahahahaha! world peace at last for a week! omgwtfpineappletartswithpepsi YAYY!

*jumps around*

anyway, here goes an important announcement to all of you people and also other guest bloggers who got invited by x few days ago.

i hereby command all of you to kneel down and worship pinksterz the great because...

others' emails are blurred because i don't know whether they are okay with me exposing their emails or not

or else... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

this blog is mine!

mine! mine! MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and x is now safely high up in the air so there is nothing he can do about it!!!!

hmmm what shall i do first? change the layout? change the link? or revoke x mia admin status? tee hee hee....

p.s. don't be sad x. i will miss you. i will try to miss you lah. now don't cry okie? :p

p.p.s. eh x (if you happen to come online) i think i want to invite you-know-who to guest blog here. can ah?

++ (live) update ++

1. flux stated his agreement to revoke x as the admin HERE
2. david seems to be incapable to say anything but revoke HERE
3. esther just worship me lah, no need to think about it :p

RATE ME


heaven





hell

since everyone is posting i also join lah

x, good luck with your valentine gig tonite!!!!!

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

p.s. remember to dodge the flying beer bottles or else you might end up as botak chin again! *grin*

p.p.s. but i like your head bald. can tease you.

p.p.p.s faster go to taiwan and let me us whack your blog dead. ahahaha!

Hell of a Night

The streets of Japan and on our way to the cinema.

I woke up with every inch of my body feeling sore, just like after you are being crucified. Now I roughly know how Jesus felt after he got off the cross. Respect! Anyway, it could be my Shoaling Monk pushing the cart missionary position or her Guan Yin sitting on the lotus style or our crouching pussy and hidden cock position or it could be all the banging & humping & screwing & boning & fucking & more banging or should I say the super duper sleazy dirty yet sweet vigorous sex I dreamt about last night. Even though it happened in my dreams but still every fucking inch of sore in my body is real. Why? Because I have 3 guys sleeping on my bed and I was left to the floor to myself is why. Even the couch is taken. After the movie, Norie and I were suppose to meet the others, so I waited at the hotel for them. I thought we were going out for something but when they arrived, I saw bags of booze and food and I knew that they were going to camp out in my room. There were about 10 of us in that room and so many things were going on at the same time. Some of them were eating and boozing away, some of them flash out their PSPs and started challenging each other (did I mention that Japs are PSP crazy? It is almost like a part of their limb, they go everywhere with it), some were watching TV. While Norie and I sat at a corner watching, she continued telling me the whole Bleach movie that we just saw, because there weren’t any fucking subtitle. Finally, I understand what the fuck was going on? Don’t worry, they will be no spoilers, just read on. Besides the movie, we spent hours talking about our background and shit like that, I was getting to know Norie, not the ex-porn star but the real one.

A call came in and she had to leave. Of all the people, why did she have to leave? Since The underground rail here doesn’t run 24 hours, so I accompanied her to catch a taxi and I offer to pay for the fare. I was smart this time, I asked for fixed rather than the meter. But it still cost me a bomb…sighs.

You know after these few days of just hanging out with Norie, I think I pretty much know her but somehow, I just couldn’t bring myself to ask her why she did the movie. Maybe I just don’t wanna know. Does it matters? We are all the same, beneath our skin we all flow the same red blood in our veins. Will be at Kenichi’s house on New Year day where he will show me his collection of porn and also the infamous Norie’s DVD. I am having second thoughts of watching it. Come on, would you watch porn that stars a person whom you are close with? I could mess up your mind badly and change the prospect of that person in your mind. Should I or shouldn’t I? What if it was you and you were going to watch porn that stars your best friend? To watch or not to watch? That is the question.

This one is for Pink, I know your fetish for Kenichi, and so I took the liberty of taking the picture of his foot. It is just my way of saying for the Xmas card, even though it was a blank one (the stick on note wasn’t there). I am sure I can have good use for it.

I present you Kenichi’s foot.

Groteskes Parade

The Macho Era has ended and welcome to the Era of Grotesque. As you can see I finally got my butt filth fingers on a 3 column layout YAY!!! and also I can kiss Pyzam.com bye bye (I no longer have to advertised them on my blog). What to expect here? Well, just expect some weird shit, so much so that I have included two version of my blog: The clean version and the dirty version. So if you think you can take it go ahead and read the dirty version. The post in both blogs will be the same, but the differences is the layout is somewhat more violent and may not be suitable for general viewing (if you plan to read my blog in the office or at home where there are elderly or little kids around).

Why Grotesque? Have you ever wonder what is the reaction you will get if one of your most respectful church minister or elder was caught in a car crash, and when he was send to the hospital and the people there found out that underneath that “holy” minister robe, he was actually wearing a women’s lingerie. Anyway, 4 more days before I leave to Japan and I hope to bring you queer tales from the land of grotesque. If you know your porn, you probably know by now the most messed up and fucked up porn usually comes from Japan.

Anyway, I was at a blood drive campaign in Kuantan Parade organized by the Local Hospital here. Free food… “Telur Rebus Basi”(Hard Boiled Eggs) which look like it was cook probably last week. [Did you know that if a guy eats aged hard boiled eggs, his testicle will grow double in size, so if you are planning to get bigger balls, be my guest]

There was also a ROTTW Sound Stage 2007 gig going on back to back. Well, when I say back to back, I really mean it literally.

Well, according to Dr. Pink, it seems that Metal music must your blood pressure high and thus making the blood to flow out easily. So I guess it isn’t a bad thing too. WFT!!!!

Retro Party Part 2

"Hello Kids, every time you see this icon here, that is me editing this post..enjoy ...bahaha...bahaha... bahaha..., as you can see I am such a He-Man lover "

Sorry for keeping you all my readers hanging like that, because I wasn’t quite done with my post but I wanted to test out the IMEEM Player that Calv taught me how to embed on my post, hence the incomplete post. Anyway, this week I have been crazily downloading all sort of new wave music from the 80s and I have been exchanging it from Evie too. Why? Because my friends and I are going to have a small gathering to send me off in style to Japan and also to pre-celebrate my birthday which is like a month away, but since I won’t be here, that is why they brought forward the celebration. It initially started as a simple gathering with food, booze, tunes and good company. But somehow, talking about it had made they all excited and they wanted to have a 80s theme party.

"Hmmmm...80s? the first thing that popped into my cherry mind is he-man. you don't know he-man? never mind keep on reading and you will know later in this post :P "

Introduction to the 1980s:

The 1980s, the era of long curly hair. The 1980s was also the death of disco, punk and whatever was left of the free hippies love movement. Where bell bottom pants turned in to tight pipe jeans (if you are a rocker) or Ali Baba pants (if you are into Canto-pop or MC Hammer) The period heralded a new era of video games (Atari games like Space Invader, Frogger, Mrs Pac Man), crappy TV shows (Knight rider, MacGyver), stupid soups opera(Dallas, Dynasty), music videos and Cher Hairdo rockers in their sister’s pipe jeans , the Cold War, He-Man, Mr. T and Rubix Cube,game and watches, moon walking and holding your crotch while screaming “OOOOOWWWWWWWWL”


Tunes

Looks like I already have the songs I need for the party, now I need to create a play list and smack it into my iPod and the Tunes part is done…points at the 80’s party list way below, anyone anymore suggestion? Drop me the title and the artist…thanks.


"p.s. psst..i personally likes the theme song from the thundercats because there was macho he-man in it."




Food and Booze:

I guess I need to read up a little on what sorts of cocktail were in the 80s and also what sort of food. So far Evie said that KFC bucket and bubblegum is big then; Cen suggested Lollipop, any more suggestion. Well, I am going to create something inspired by the 80s for that night, I’ll do it in another post for that.

Dressing:

This is the hardest part for me? How am I going to dress up like the 80s? My initial plan was to raid my sister’s closet in her old room and find whatever 80s clothes she have and be a 80s cross dresser. But after seeing her Madonna impersonation picture taken during the 80s and how much like a “SOHAI” she looks . I think I will just stick with 80s iconic costume. Alright this is where all my beloved readers comes in, yes that means you who are reading this, I have narrow down the icons that I am going to dress up as for the party and the power is in your hand to choose what I am going to dressed up as. Just vote for who I am suppose to dress up as and I will dress up as the person.

"but i think he-man would be a cool costume, don't you think so? *wink wink* "

And the nominees are:

1#Mr. T

Since my hair is still short and I always wanted a Mohawk hairstyle. I wouldn’t mind shaving my head.

2#Boy George

Problem the most famous cross dresses from the 90s, I think my sister has a hat just like his. Next I need to do is get a wig and tie all sort of shit to it.

3#He Man

This probably the gayest *drools* cartoon from the 80s if you don’t believe me check it out HERE.

4#Anyone of the glam-rocker from Poison

All I need are my sister’s pair of tight pipe jeans, wig and steal my mother’s makeup and eye shadow.

You vote it (HE MAN, HE MAN, HE MAN!) and I will dress like it, anyway if you have any suggestion to make a 80's theme party more fun, do share. I would love to get some party tips from y'all on every aspect, from tunes, food & booze, dressing and even activities. And do enjoy the 80s songs below :)

Updates:

These are some early Xmas cum birthday gifts I received this two days...

Some The Cure CDs...Thanks to Snake for helping me get the remaining The Cure CDs to complete my collection. Depeche Mode 101 double CDs...Thanks to E for getting me of of the CDs thatt I was looking for.


The gifts that Evie got me, a coffee/tea cup that comes with a spoon, Bros - The Time CD and Radiohead - Amnesiac Limited Edition

I just love this Limited Edition CD, the CD is found inside the library card holder inside the book...


Bros - The Time CD, this CD is a blast from the past...look at the label ..it is still under CBS...it can be an antique...