No, it isn't a shot gun wedding...

Almost 20 hours of flying half way across the globe I am right where I am supposed to be-the City of Angels. I was expecting for a big change in the climate once I step off the plane at LAX, but to my surprise, it felt kinda like home. Everybody seems to be complaining about the humidity but, I just seem to fit right in. It’s 6 in the evening and Cheeseburger Eddy was supposed to pick me up 30 minutes ago but still no sign of him. Do you still remember having any friend of just never seem to gain any weight, no matter how much he or she eats and they will be like laughing on how you take care of your body, your diet, mock you for taking a diet soda, tempt you by having McDonalds in front of you and also asking you out for a late night supper? No? Lucky you, let me introduce you to Cheeseburger Eddy.



Well, you see, I wasn’t as thin as everyone is when I was young. I was big but not as big as some of the kids these days because I wasn’t a McD junky. I could say that I was overweight when I was in primary school. My grand dad used to pamper me too much with ice creams and candies because he used to own a candy stall but it was burnt down during a fire and then he retired. Makes me wonder if I was going to continue to be overweight even obese if the stall didn’t burn down. Maybe it was God’s way of saving me from being fat by smiting that stall. When I reached 12, my weight problem was starting and I was at the verge of being obese, so my parents started to take care of my diet and also send me for karate classes and got in involve in all sort of sports and finally I was all well tone up when I was in secondary school. I guess basketball was the game that keeps me off the fats while I was in secondary school and also a well kept diet. But after I went to College, I came back looking like an anorexic scarecrow; well, not because I was anorexic but because I spend all my money on drinking rather than food. I have sidetrack too far, now back to Cheeseburger Eddy. That was the name we call that skinny scarecrow, who just loves to eat and eat an eat and just stay so thin. I tell you this bugger’s stomach is like an endless pit. He just keeps going and going and while we are trying to watch our diet, he would like mock us for doing so. Why the name Cheeseburger Eddy, because I think it was at a buffet, he gobble down 12 cheeseburger at a go. Now he is working in a studio as a sound engineer in Pasadena.
The last time I saw him was 2007’s Chinese New Year, he was his usually self and like old times having his favorite Double Cheese Burger in Mickey D’s the last time I saw him But you know you will reap whatever you sow; I was in shock when I meet Cheeseburger Eddy. Looks like all the cheeseburger that he had was resurfacing and stockpiling in his belly. He grew like 2 or 3 fucking times his original size. I know it is mean but I just had to take a picture of his tummy. It is from the side but the front okie? You can imagine how big it is. Like this be a reminder to myself to stay off those Cheeseburgers.


And Oh No’s, I just can’t connect to fucking MSN, I don’t know why, it can’t be the line cause I am able to do other things, which means my fucking MSN program is fried and I think I should reinstall it, maybe later. But I will be on face book chat for the time being. Kuantan is like plagued with Durian, Lisa’s parents has brought like 3 big basket Durian from their orchard for my parents. The only Durian enthusiast in my house is my mum and woa woa, so 3 basket of Durian is just too much. I hope woa woa won’t get sick eating so much Durian. The last time she had fever. My parents and Lisa’s parents seems to be getting along beautifully and it seems they are the ones who are enjoying the engagement more than us. Lisa told me ever since I left, they already been out twice. There is still a lot going in my head at this moment and I just don’t know how to find the words yet. I suppose I will let my rational self take hold of my sanity first before I make another move. I will blog about it later when I am saner.

PS: to those who are shock about the engagement, no this isn’t a shot gun wedding. No one is pregnant if that is what you are thinking :P

Dear, I am just too tired today...

Oh fuck me, the time 10:59PM, I just had Red Bull, some salad and a baked potato and I am feeling like a sleeping head. On any given other day, I would be glad to be sleepy at this hour because sleeping before midnight is definitely good for the skin but not today, in about an hour’s time I will be driving down to KL and then head to KLIA to catch my flight to LA. Fuck me inside out, my eye lid feels like a hundred pounds now. I wanna blame it on Chris Botti’s Midnight without You that is playing in my iPod but it might be baked potato that I just had. I don’t eat this late at night but I was kinda hungry because I had a really early dinner with Lisa. She was all game in preparing me some Salmon Teriyaki because she believes that the quarter Japanese blood in her enables her to prepare kick ass Japanese cuisine, boy was she wrong. Oh no’s, here I go again, yawning for the hundredth time, no fucking Red Bull is going to save me tonight.






Anyway, I know some of you’s have questions for me regarding my engagement, but my MSN died on me, it was the “in and out” disease yesterday but it totally went dead today. Thanks to those who called me, if there is going to be a “wedding” anytime soon. I would probably just upload my wedding invitation on my blog so that you can all print it out. All further questions will be answered soon enough but for now, I will just focus on getting to KLIA and then flying to LA. *Prays hard that no one is sitting beside me on my flight to LA, but if there is, please make it a super hot chic :D* I will be bunking at my friend - Cheeseburger Eddy’s place in Pasadena, I hope there is internet there.

while the guys were banging the girls like drums...

While the other guys were banging their midnight suppers consisting of Thai Ladies like Taiko Drums in the other rooms. I was left here alone because I stand firm on my notion that I will not pay for a fuck. Just like the fucking birds and the fucking bees, sex should remain free and not turned into some kind of transaction. Anyway, call me old fashion if you want to, but I ain’t paying shit for sex. But before you go off and call me a cheapskate, let me tell you that there are things that I am more than willing to pay for, and this thing has got many names, for instance blow, C, crack, flake, freebase, rock, snow, C17H21NO4, , coke or better known as Cocaine. It all got started when I was talking to this guy from another band call 7th Fleet Band which was playing alongside us that night. Since they were around Bangkok real often, I just wanted to know; besides sex and more sex what sinful pleasure are there in Bangkok. The vocalist John told me that for a fee you can get the badest motherfucking substance ever known to men –Cocaine. It is a secret that no one wants to talk about, but coke is everywhere and it has been booming this last 10 years. The general rule of getting Coke, places that is filled with fucking foreign tourist, there is bound to be Coke on the sale. Of course you can also get cheap ecstasy or Yaa Baa (amphetamine) , but Coke is the real deal. And true to John’s word, I score my first stash of coke right from restaurant just across the places that I was staying. John was the normal recreational users and he has given me some points on how to use my stash of coke. I can either snort it, rush it (inject) or smoke it. By snorting it, the effect will kick in only after a few minutes while the effect will last to 1- 1.5 hours, while by injecting it, the effect will come in much sooner but the effect will only last 20 to 60 minutes. By smoking it, you will get high almost instantaneously but the effect will only last up to 5 to 10 minutes.( I don’t think I can do this because I don’t smoke). Since I have all the time in the world and I have no midnight supper tonight, and being a Chinese cum a certified accountant, it is only sane to choose the way of taking the coke that has a longer lasting effect, come on these fuckers ain’t cheap, there are selling it about 2,500 bath by the grams ( You do the math). Actually all of us had agree to give it a go at this and clear it out of our system before we leave, but those horny bustards seems to be like pulling out at the very last minute and all they want to do it stick their dick somewhere dark and moist, chicken shit is what I think they are. Well, since none of them wants a slice of the stash, better for me, fewer men more share. So equipped with my trusted Maybank ATM card and a rolled up 1 Ringgit bill, I am ready to fall in to a new high and snort my first ever cocaine line. So wish me “chok dee” which means good luck in Thai.

The Married Ones are Usually The Horniest Ones

Here I am sitting on my bed, still feeling the hangover from the show tonight (it started a bit slow but the ending was great). This trip to Thailand with the guys was suppose to be a "let it all rip "type of trip, so much so that I was made to promise to leave all the details of what is going on from this blog. I am not to disclosure any detail here. There is going to be a debriefing after this trip, for all the guys to synchronize our story, so that we can let the ladies know what clean fun we had Thailand so that the story wouldn’t get the guys who are married or currently attached into trouble; I remember the last time, the guys went for a sin trip to Ipoh, they didn’t sync their story to the detail. When the wives wanted to know where did they have lunch that afternoon when they were in Ipoh, all the answer was different because in fact that afternoon they were in one of the sleaziest Spa in Ipoh called Hotel Robin having an ass buffet. So that is why, after a sinful trip, guys should really sync their stories before they go back home to their love ones. On the other hand I have nothing to worry about because I have no one to answer to, so most of the time, if there is something wrong, I would be the one who is likely to take the fall. To the ladies, I am always the “horny” one because no one is sleeping beside my bed, and to them they think I have enough sexual energy to power up a whole fucking town, but on the contrary, usually the horniest ones are the one who has an active sex partner and those who are already married. Why? Because they are the one who finally come to realized that once they have that band in their finger, they are bound to only one women in their life and sometimes, and they feel repress because in real guys are made to stick their penis in as many vagina as they can find and they definitely don’t work well with only one. I am not saying that all guys are like that but it is something that is inherent to them. Even if they don’t do it, I am 100% sure that they have thought or even fantasize it even after they are happily married. Being in Bangkok and all, all these sexual energies going around, somehow I find myself losing interest in it. Our initial plan to come here was play the show, have booze, girls, and shoot some guns. But somehow, I just sorta like lost my faith in all this 3 things and just stay back in my room and sleep it out while the guys are having the time of their lives. I don’t know why, but somehow after the little private show we had just now, it just sort of shut my whole sexual appetite down and now I am at the verge of a mood poisoning and in need of some booze and some pain killers. This is x signing off from Bangkok and wishing you all Sawadee “fucking” Khrap!

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My Date With Suicide

Don’t a small amount of people die every year after eating this shit I asked Norie; She answered yeah, but the restaurant that we are going, the chef haven’t kill anyone YET. So you are QUITE safe. Deep inside I really wanna do this but somehow coming from a country where usually drivers obtain their driving license by paying Duit Kopi-o (bribe money), somehow just sort of struck me that what if it is the same here for the licensed Fugu Chef. But I don’t wanna be a pussy and back out now, Norie, Kenichi, Hota and I are already on our way there. Hota assured me that I am relatively safe because if I die eating Fugu in that restaurant, I will be the very first and I will be really famous. Experienced Fugu chefs will leave enough poison in the flesh of the fish to give the eaters a little numbness around the lips and tongue and this is what that keeps eaters coming back for more. But sometimes, maybe sometimes the poison is a little too much. Anyway, along the way Hota gave me a little insight about Japan’s favorite delicacy as part of the whole Fugu eating experience.

“It's said that the most poisonous Fugu, "Tora-fugu," is the most delicious. Its toxin makes cyanide look like Aspirin. Just touching a it the wrong way can be deadly. The common blowfish contains enough tetrodotoxin to kill up to 30 adult humans. “In the case of torafugu, the ovary alone sometimes weighs over a kilogram and contains enough poison to kill some 20 people. The poison paralyzes the muscles while the victim stays fully conscious, and eventually suffocates and dies. There is currently no antidote, and the standard medical approach is to try to support the respiratory and circulatory system until the effect of the poison wears off. The chef must have special skills and knowledge about Fugu to be licensed. Poisonous parts of Fugu differ, depending on the kind of Fugu. Because of the strict regulations, the number of deaths is decreasing. Best time to eat them is October to March”

As we reached the place, I just can’t help but to notice but I am flirting with death and this could be my very last meal,. After having the urge of doing this ever since I heard about it, I finally succumbed to the temptation. God damn it, sitting my ass down on the chair waiting for my Fugu set meal, feels like I am sitting on an electric chairand waiting for the switch to be flipped; but what the heck anyway, living is meaningless without a little death, don’t you think so? As the starters came out, deep down inside I thought to myself, this could very much be the beginning ……of the end.

Fugusahi
First, it was the famous grey colored sashimi (Fugu) served with Ponzu dipping sauce (a citrus-like soy sauce).

Yubiki
Next was a salad made with the raw skin and meat of the Fugu eaten green onions and a light citrus dressing.

Fugu-no-karaage

Deep Fry Fugu, contains various other parts of the fish, some meat, some crunchy bone, deep fried with a few vegetables. I love this one, reminds me of Kerepok Lekor (hometown food). But this is a damn expensive Kerepok Lekor.

Fugu-chiri

Lastly, it is steam-boat fugu. You pretty much damn everything into a hot pot cook it and eat, just like Shabu- Shabu

Hirezake
My drink, tea made by brewing up toasted Fugu fins with hot sake.

I did felt a slight tingle on my tongue during the first two courses but not to the extent of numbness. I think the chef was going easy on me and trying like hell not to get me killed. Anyway, it was fun and nerve wrecking experience especially the anticipation and the taking of the first bite. After that it was smooth sailing and deliciously fun.

Total damage done = 7,000 yen (RM213.00/SD93.00) per head and making a grand total damage of 28,000 yen. I think someone amongst us is being poison by the Fugu poison.

I feel for you my wallet.!!!!

TEARDROP