2. The Pain of Waking

I’m standing on this corner of my head where we first met;  I’ve got both feet camped in the sleeping bag and I’m not moving.

He kisses her; he goes to work; he drives into the porch; he takes out the thrash; he goes inside; the lights go off. 

I’m standing at this very corner, waiting, hoping, wishing that one day she would wake up and find out that she still miss me.

After the honeymoon, they spent three Christmases here; last year they went to Taipei.

I’m still standing on this corner. Rain or shine, I’m standing my ground. Anytime now she will be running out that door and into these arms where she belongs.

I may have been kicked outta her life and purged of everything that was us. At least, I still have this corner inside my head.

I’m still here and this corner of my head is getting cold and empty. I don’t know what am I even doing here anymore. Maybe I just wanted to fuck her in the bed where their wedding portrait hangs, and then leave her feeling guilty the next morning. Wait, been there, done that and I have been found craving for even more.

I don’t get what the fuck she sees in him? He is tall, good looking, rich and caring. I mean I am all of that and probably more but only in reverse.

I am still standing at this very corner, the very corner where we met.  It just makes no sense, but what can I do, when I am still in love with you.

Weeks, months, years… I am still standing at this corner

Maybe if I close my eyes and open them again, she would appear in front of me and beg me to take her back.

*close eyes.

*open eyes and look across the empty side of my bed, the radio clock is showing 6:55am.

Gotta be up in 5 minutes.