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I believe that losing weight is not as complicated as it seems; but some whine and cry about how all the program doesn’t seem to work and how they are just cut out to be overweight. Losing weight just like having sex isn’t rocket science. If you explain this simple weight losing theory to a kid, I bet they will understand it too. The theory is simple. Calories intake more than Calories Usage
Need I say more? This will only make you fatter and most of us believe that Carbohydrate makes us fat and we follow Aitken’s low Carb-diet, but why are they so many people got fatter after going for the low-Carb diet? Carbohydrate are the food that makes you feel full and satisfy, thus people who uses this diet will tend to eat more of the other stuff to feel satisfy, making the calories intake more than usage.
Calories intake equal Calories Usage
You are going nowhere; might as well gain some weight at least that is also progress.
Calories intake less than Calories Usage
This is the easier way to lost weight, but of course if you want to target a specific area or sculpt your body like say Triple H (Jeng Jeng Jeng, Spit Water), hitting the gym is the best way. Building up muscle and let the muscle eat the fats away. It is the less expensive way of getting a slim figure. But if you have extra cash, you can opt going to so slimming centre to try out their slimming “wanton” wraps.
Now that you know that using weight is easy but the temptation of food and laziness is the killer, start counting your calories intake if you really wanna lose weight. Here’s something to get you started, we all fucking know that sex is an aerobic activity and there are plenty of sources that telling you how much calories you burn while having sex, but they don’t say much about how much calories we burn making the move to have sex.
ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED
Phone sex 9
If:
-Doing it from a car while driving add 22
-While trying to Parallel Park add 80
Respectful rubbing 17
If:
-In the elevator add 30
-Doing it while standing position on a train add 80
Frantic groping 40
If:
-Lights are off add 60
Removing her bra 11
If:
-You can’t figure out how it opens add 50
Buying condoms 6
If:
-You are shy or self-conscious add 55
-You don’t know your size add 108
Talking dirty to each other 16
If:
-In a British accent add 1.5
-In Mandarin add 3
-In Teo Chew add 5
Insert diaphragm 4
If:
-She does it add 14
-He does it add 572
-It pops out add 11
Chasing the popped out diaphragm 67
If:
-Retrieving it from under the bed add 80
-You don’t know where it went and you were going to have sex with someone other than your girlfriend or wife and your girlfriend or wife is coming home in a couple of hours time add 99999999999999999++