Oh No's!! xniquet is engaged

I iz back at ma haus and I haz sum bad newz to shaz wiz u. I getz dis big big problemz. I think I iz engaged wif Lisa and I has to marriage soon. I wunner howz I getz in dis problemz alla timz. Muh life is confunsinn now. Sriosly, I was halfz baked when it happens. Oh no’s, its hawt here, I iz melting… Anywayz, I iz living for LAX soon!!!!

there's more

BTW, xniquet is a graduate from teh University of

Right about now, you will be expecting me to say that the above is some sort of a joke and i am pulling your legs. All of us go... HAHAHA! We then get on with our pathetic lives and live happily ever after. Well, I got news for you - I really wished I was pulling your legs. Sigh, not in the right mind to go into the details yet, at the moment yes I am officially engaged. For now I need a KFC bukkit so that I can think....

[below is a plan which I haz been contemplating]