The Fucking Cook




































































































































playing on my iPod:
The World That I Know - Collective Soul








It is a rare thing these days if you don't find me having a fucking hangover on a Sunday Morning or any other mornings; it is even a rare sight to be seeing me seated in the front row of a church that is filled with the smell of old folks on a fucking Sunday morning. Listening to the morning sermon about what the Holy fucking Bible has to say about adulterer and adulteress and what the act of fornication will do to corrupt your fucking soul. Sticks and fucking stones may break my fucking bones but a mere sermon about fornication, didn't ever give me a slight tingle. I am so fucking dead and numb to all the shit and fucks that the Holy fucking Bible has to say. There is no point rubbing that shit in my face, just let it go, I can't be saved.

I didn't break the minister's face that day and no I am not temporary insane for coming to church. I was at church on this glorious fucked up Sunday morning because I was involved with a new social service for the elderly folks in Kuantan and there was a meeting here today. There are a number of old folks who has no children and are living all alone. Even though welfare charity can give them money to buy food and clothing but they still have to do their daily chores in order to live. That is where we come in; I prefer to be called a cook than a fucking maid because cooking meals and doing minimum cleaning work around these old folk's houses is what I do. You see this new social program is to identify the needy old folks and then send someone to fix them meals and do some house chores because some of these old folks are sickly and live in condition that are way below human standards. They don't have much money too, whatever riches they have they carry it in their wallet or hand bags or Milo tin cans. I might have given up on my own fucking life but these people hasn't and I guess I should try to do whatever I can to make them feel more comfortable and feel that they are not forgotten and not desolated. I don't really see a problem using up a couple of hours of my pathetic day to go to these folks house, cook for them and do a little cleaning up for them. I can definitely use some of my time that I waste on getting drunk, to do something to help these folks and in process brush up on my cooking skills. Don't worry I won't poison any of these old folks because if I were to poison the food, I would rather eat it myself than letting them have the pleasure of dying. Besides, before preparing their meals, I had to obtain their health record and then consult a nutritionist, so that I can carefully prepare their menu. After a couple of days of practice and coming up with some dishes, it was show time today.

I am not doing all these just because I want to secure a fucking place in heaven or am I trying to find my way back to God's fucking good grace. I am doing this because as fucked up as my life is already is, I rather not have others suffer as I do. So If ever a minute God thinks that this motherfucking prodigal son has return, I am ready to drop down on my fucking knees and burn joss sticks to a idol that resembles a 300 pound bald guy or I would get naked, kill a goat and then use its blood to draw a pentagram or better yet cut off my dick's foreskin, give up eating pork and practice polygamy. For the fucking record, I believe in God but I don's love him enough to go back to him because when I am dead there is gonna be a spot in hell with my name burned on it.

The Fucking Dishes:














the xniquet-wiki articles for this post:

Babi Betul
Clay Pot Chicken Rice aka Nga Poh Fun
Cowboy Style Spicy Vegetables and Egg
Fucking Chicken Rice
Fucking Herbal Chicken

Mixed Herbs Creamed Spaghetti
Onion and Potato Soup
Paprika Chicken with Vegetables

Roasted Chicken
Steam Chinese Cabbage
Steam Eggs with Bean Curd