As I was making the turn to 7-11, it occurred to me that it was getting awfully chilly at this time of the year. It didn’t rain for days, and monsoon season was definitely over here in the east coast and I didn’t even turn on the car’s AC. But it was so chilly that it was making my nipples so hard that it could cut through glass. A fucking scary thought ran through my mind, what if it is a ghost or something? I read it from somewhere that when there is an evil presence near, the air would get chilly and cold. Alright, I didn’t read it but I saw it in the Exorcist; Father Merin went into the Regan’s room when she was possessed by an evil spirit. The fucking room suddenly turned blizzard cold and he was puffing smoke outta his fucking lungs. So that thought sorta slip and I reckon that I was in that fucked up situation and it sent chills down my fucking spine.
There it was when I realized that I was wearing nothing but my boxers. I was topless and I only have a lime green boxer cover in blue patches in the shape of flowers on (think Patrick Star). Fuck it, I forgot to put on any clothes when I got out of the house and I didn’t have any money on me. But I always carry some money in my car in case of emergency, so now all I have to do is check out who is on the graveyard shift at 7-11. If it was a guy, I am all good and I don’t have to go home and change.
I guess my luck was changing after all because the cashier was a guy and I happened to know that fucker. So with both hands I pull the top of my boxer up to the level of my my belly button and then rushed in 7-11 grabbed all the stuff I needed to make the fucking pie, pay and leave. Who would have known that I managed to pull it off with only a boxer? With a big fat fucking grin on my face that runs from my left ear to my right ear, I drove home and get ready to bake.
As I went in my patio, suddenly I realized something. Motherfucker, they have CCTVs in all their outlets and I was on 7-11 TV. Fuck me man, I fucking hope that no low life geek that works in 7-11 would fucking post up a video in YouTube with a fucking title like this “Idiot wearing only boxers getting stuff in 7-11”.
Anyway, for those who wonder how does a 7-11 Key Lime Pie look like and taste like, here's the recipe:
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