This hole right here used to be where my heart was but right now, it is a vacant lot where my withered affection haunts.
I am not sure why but suddenly this yearning of wanting to taste the joy of love resurfaces; the cry for affection and passion suddenly arises; like a junkie craving for its addiction, I know the shit that is going to be involved if I ever fall in love again. Yet I was like a kid who doesn’t give a fuck, wanting to taste the sugar coated cyanide treat that would very much get me killed if I ever choose to devour it. It could be the loneliness but seriously I think I have been through all that and I am way above being lonely. Because loneliness seems like a state of bliss compared to the buffet of fucked up feelings that comes along with being in love.
Jealousy, insecurity, lies, compromise, cheating, wariness, lies and more lies are just but a few of the mess you are going to get into once you slide into this fucked up rabbit hole, it ain’t going to be a wonderland on the other side but just hell itself.
I fucking loath the feeling of thinking about another person 24/7… it’s just disguising when you think back on how fucking vulnerable, needy and dependent a person can get when he is in love.
So the hell with ever wanting to be in love because right now I totally understand why wise dudes of the past choose to say that “love is only for the waist down…”