With all the Chinese Lunar New Year still in the air, it is hard to shake off all the New Year’s fucktivity, I mean festivity. You know all I can think about now is the fucktivity that my dirty friends did when they made a sin trip up to Bangkok during the holidays. All the senseless orgy, butthole pleasure and dirty ass rimming that they do behind their wives’ back is simply legendary. After a night’s out with the boys, my mind is polluted with their live to tell stories. The places they stick their penises in is simple jaw dropping. I have been told that Analingus is the new sex a la mode; forget about the conventional blow jobs. Analingus of the way to go but that will all be revealed in another post call An Analingus Tale. But for now, this is just a pseudo blog post with no essence, just lame ass mundane shit that I did during the fucktivities, I mean festivities, after which you will see how pathetic my life really is and you will maybe learn to appreciate what you have even more.
So here are some pictures taken during a trip to a friend’s vegetable farm. I was actually trying to pick up some trade secrets on growing my own spice garden but everything about what I have now just seems to scream wrong.
My friend’s farm is located in Sg. Sol (about 9 clicks from Kuantan); this fucking farm is fucking huge and it is filled with chives which are great on garlic bread [recipe here];
There are baby Sarawak pineapples too;
This weird looking motherfucker is called “Misai Kuching” in Malay which translated means "Cat’s Whiskers." It is to be made into tea and it is great for you anorexic freak;
Not sure what this mother fuckers are called but they are great if you stir fried it with some wolf-berries;
And last but not least this is not a picture taken from the farm but from my very own spice garden. All fucked up by some fucking pest. I may not be Martha Fucking Stewart but I know that my mint leaves are screwed.
P.S. I was approached by a website and was asked to submit some of my writings; so currently I am working on a short story entitle “Father of All”. So that means less time to blog but I will definitely update y’all on what the short story is about.
I may have been into this thick jungle reserve many many times, but every time I come out from it, I will either end up in another location or I will manage to stumble on a different route to where I started. Right about now you might think that I am a pathfinder noob, but I tell you this jungle holds a lot of mysterious energy. The trees are old and most of them are hundreds of years old. The locals here believes that this jungle here is a concentration of wandering spirits because as development takes place, all the wandering spirits congregates at the least developed places. The Malays here said that in every tree in this jungle there will be a “Penunggu” or Keeper and whoever enters the jungle should respect it or they will suffer the consequences. Even though I don’t really buy this mambo jumbo thingy, but I do adhere to the unspoken rules.
I hope this doesn’t scare you from going jungle trekking. Just stick to the unspoken rules and you will be fine besides jungle trekking is such a great cardio workout and the air here is good for you too. You might be thinking that it is crazy to go jungle trekking these days because of the insane hot weather. But you know what, being in the jungle with it thick foliage; it almost felt like you are in an air conditioning room. It is way better than being in an air conditioning room because it air condition would only dry your skin and this doesn’t. Besides in the day time these trees produce plenty of O2 which is really good for your skin and delays aging. I know the last post and this post might bore you because it is just another ordinary day in my life but it is the simple things that I am beginning to miss doing. The thought of leaving here and head to LA to start anew still lay heavy in my heart. Even though I am used to the big city but deep down inside I am still a “Budak Kampung” (village boy) who enjoys the nature like the beach and jungle. Come on where in the world will I be able to find a hidden beach of my own to surf and go jungle trekking in the middle of the week?
I may feel relax in the jungle but nothings beats coming home to a nice soft bed, with a glass of California red, a nice book and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons playing on my headphone. Just ignore that telephone book like women magazine beside the bed. Those belong to Lisa. Anyway, on the right, you will find another short Vlog that I taken while passing by the mini zoo to get into the jungle. Meet Thunder Bob, that is what 
Sometimes I wonder how my life was going to be like if I am a clockwork white collar slave living in this laid back beach town. It’s been so long since I was a white collar plowing my ass off, but everything has changed since I came back to my home town. My routine are like biking, surfing, drinking, jamming with the band, play PlayStation or watch DVD till I pass out and repeat all over again and oh I miss something, blogging too. Life is so mundane back here, so much so that I have enough time to visit a cafeteria 7 times a day for two days, just to see a girl who later became my fiancé. But once every year, I get to play the role of a white collar slave and it is today. Because today is my company’s Annual General Meeting (AGM) where Shareholders and directors, company secretary and auditors are to hold a fucking meeting to adopt the year’s audited accounts, reappointment of auditor and other shit that they fucking list on the meeting’s agenda. It is so fucking boring, I wish they could just skip all the bullshit and fast forward to the part where I sign and leave; that would be great. I would have send my trusted proxy (woawoa) to attend the meeting on my behalf but she was just too busy barking at my neighbor’s chickens, so I just had to do it on my own. Besides I also wanted to know if there is any increment on the director’s fees. [Keeps finger cross].Like any other day, it started with me walking my proxy out to do her business and then a visit to my late wife’s resting place. Head home to do a little QiGong meditation and a working out to the Village People’s Macho Man. My breakfast this morning was GALI MEE (curry noodles)- It is a very common breakfast for the people in Kuantan and as usual my proxy will always be there when I am going to eat something.
These are the things that I brought to my meeting and every other day that I go in my office:
Wakes up to sign papers and YAYY! It is over, after shaking the hands of the other directors and the rest of the people, I bid them good bye and see them next year. I walked across the one lane street and went into my house and had nuggets, sausages, toast with cheese, cauliflower and raw tomatoes for lunch. After which I continue to Sex Wax my surfboard and then proceed to the beach to surf.
The time was 7pm when I came back from the beach, only to be greeted by the orange sky. I don’t know about you, but it is pretty common here in Kuantan. After a nice warm bath, felt too tired to eat, so skipped dinner and did a finger exercise with the PS3. After that I decided to switch on my desktop only to do some blogging, only to be smack on the head by Lisa, who then send me off to bed after a cuppa Chamomile blend to help me sleep because I am suppose to wake up at 5am for surfing the next day. So I guess with her highness around, I won’t be able to produce as much post as I used to.Anyway, [*points to the right] enjoy episode one of the red groteskes TV which feature my proxy woa woa.
