My Dad is a Taliban

* If you can't stand having your precious God being mock at. I suggest you fucking leave *

What I meant was my dad is a Taliban of his church but he isn't a jihad monger that has a closet full of explosive rigged clothing as his wardrobe.

So, let me rephrase the sentence again; my mum always said that my dad is like a Taliban.

A Taliban holds a fucking AK in one hand and raises his Quran in the other, while my dad holds a cigarette between his fingers in one hand and the bible on the other.

Can you imagine that hymns of worship to the fucking almighty and dangerous second hand smoke actually come out of that pie hole for half a century?

50 years, 30 sticks a day, look where it has landed him? If you wanna know, that's half a million sticks of cigarette.

I know he isn't proud of it but I can assure you that he fucking enjoyed every single drag of nicotine that went in his lung.

But I don't blame him for that because god fucking made us with this insatiable lust for self destruction.

We all have our own poison and most of us haven't really realized it until it is too late.

I fucking think God has a sick sense of humor almost sadistic. He gave us life only to watch us die. Why did he even create us in the first place?

No No No...

If you are gonna say that if we all confess our fucking sins to Jesus and do all the fucking bullshit the fucking bible says, we can go to heaven and spent our entire eternity praising God in heaven.

*to all Christians who is celebrating Easter today, I'm sorry for calling your most sacred book the fucking bible, it should be the Holy fucking Bible instead.*

Now, who in the fucking right mind would wanna spend a whole fucking eternity sucking God's cock in heaven? I would rather take my chances down in hell.

To some, they reckon religion teaches us to be all good and shit but did it ever occurred to you that the single most influential force that drives a person to kill another person is their religion.

No, it’s not Charlie Manson or Adolf Hitler but God who is the biggest murderer of all time.

So ask yourself this the next time you close your eyes and put your hands together or when you're holding your joss stick or while you're bend over and on your fucking knees. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you praying to the single most destructive entity ever known to men?

If you are going to say the holy fucking bible tells me so, I suggest you read some Dan Brown, now that's a motherfucker who knows history.

Anyway, Happy Easter & don't choke on your fucking eggs.

Prelude: An Analingus Tale

With all the Chinese Lunar New Year still in the air, it is hard to shake off all the New Year’s fucktivity, I mean festivity. You know all I can think about now is the fucktivity that my dirty friends did when they made a sin trip up to Bangkok during the holidays. All the senseless orgy, butthole pleasure and dirty ass rimming that they do behind their wives’ back is simply legendary. After a night’s out with the boys, my mind is polluted with their live to tell stories. The places they stick their penises in is simple jaw dropping. I have been told that Analingus is the new sex a la mode; forget about the conventional blow jobs. Analingus of the way to go but that will all be revealed in another post call An Analingus Tale. But for now, this is just a pseudo blog post with no essence, just lame ass mundane shit that I did during the fucktivities, I mean festivities, after which you will see how pathetic my life really is and you will maybe learn to appreciate what you have even more.

So here are some pictures taken during a trip to a friend’s vegetable farm. I was actually trying to pick up some trade secrets on growing my own spice garden but everything about what I have now just seems to scream wrong.





My friend’s farm is located in Sg. Sol (about 9 clicks from Kuantan); this fucking farm is fucking huge and it is filled with chives which are great on garlic bread [recipe here];

There are baby Sarawak pineapples too;

This weird looking motherfucker is called “Misai Kuching” in Malay which translated means "Cat’s Whiskers." It is to be made into tea and it is great for you anorexic freak;

Not sure what this mother fuckers are called but they are great if you stir fried it with some wolf-berries;

And last but not least this is not a picture taken from the farm but from my very own spice garden. All fucked up by some fucking pest. I may not be Martha Fucking Stewart but I know that my mint leaves are screwed.

P.S. I was approached by a website and was asked to submit some of my writings; so currently I am working on a short story entitle “Father of All”. So that means less time to blog but I will definitely update y’all on what the short story is about.

Reunion?

playing on my iPod:
Canon in D - Vienna Boys Choir
(but it sounded more like "O Fortuna" to me today)

6:01pm First fucking day of the fucking Chinese Lunar New Year, I am looking at my own fucking reflection in the mirror, feeling like my whole existence is flawed and wondering what the fuck went wrong. You see I decided to stop being so Amish and drop my habit of plucking my eyebrow and usher myself into a new era of eyebrow grooming with my new electric eyebrow trimmer that I purchased from Watson. Just under RM13.00, this baby guarantees you an easy and pain free eyebrow shaping experience But it never said it was free of any grooming accident. Now with my hair tied back, I fucking looked like a transvestite; with a little eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss and a hot party dress; I would be ready to hit the street. Fuck that shit! But that wasn’t what that was really bothering me.

I needed a dosage of music to turn my frown upside down. Nope heavy ass metal won’t do, so I turn to some Baroque. I scroll down my iPod to find Vivaldi’s Four Seasons – Spring 1st Allegro. I was hoping that it would be uplifting but somehow today it sounded more like Winter to me. I let out a breath but it wasn’t of relief but of dreadfulness. In less than an hour, I will be in a 5 Star Restaurant having my annual family reunion dinner but with the amount of people that will be there, it felt more like a clan dinner. This is the fucking lowest point of my festivity because I am such a party pooper. If there was a party vigilante, I would fucking be on top of his hit list. But maybe it is just me growing into a full bloom green fur Grinch that fucking hates Chinese New Year or I am slowly turning into a fucking hermit who dislikes the presences of noisy cum nosey family members around me. I don’t see what is the big fucking deal with the whole reunion shit. They don’t call or talk or take notice of me on other days of the year but right now they wanna pretend to be interested in how my fucking life has been the past year and suddenly want me to be their buddy?

As usual my dad will be seated with his peers and if there is ever a conversation brought up about me in that table, it would be whether I am a fucking Goat or a fucking Monkey because I was the only one in the family who was born early January which raises the question of which Chinese Horoscope Livestock I fall into. While the talk about livestock rages on there, I am left seated in a table with my peers of which I am the youngest and only one without any offspring. Well, I could be seated with my nephews and nieces on the other table but I would have to communicate with them in diapers and nursery rhymes, so I rather take my chances seated in this fucking table.

And so with the ceiling mounted speaker playing Chinese New Year Songs above my head, I put on my fakest smile and try to be pleasant, merry and joyous as I try to survive this year’s dinner.

As the dishes started to roll out, the questions started to roll in. For crying out loud and for the 100th time, I am no longer in college and yes I am working...well, almost, but that wasn't the whole fucking point. You wouldn’t know the torment I was in, between the tiger prawn and abalone and also the steam sea bass and scallop , I was practically praying to all the gods and angels like a fucking pagan and if I was able to go on my knees I would have been praying like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane asking the fucking almighty to take this cup away from me.



10:44pm my ordeal was coming to an end, now I just have to continue on holding this fucking fake smile as I say my goodbyes, get into my car and bullet from there like a bat outta hell.

With Bach’s Air on G string playing in the background(yes, today i was rather in the mood for some soft strings and cello rather than the sound of guitars in overdrive), my first day of the Fucking Chinese Cow Year draws to an end, and like usual I took out the red packets that I have collected from the dinner and was about to put them inside my car as emergency cash (now you know where i keep my red packet cash), I notice something that I never realized until now. My name was written on every fucking single red packet; I went through all the red packets that I have collected throughout the years and my name was on every one of it. You know what, that scribbled name on the side of the red packet meant more than the 100s and 50s notes inside of it; it meant that that particular red packet was for me and only me. I was fucking speechless, how could I be so fucking blind?

Now I fucking see that even though it is just so amazing; amazingly how much they and I have nothing in common, yet it has never stopped them from trying to get close to me and no matter how much of an alien, pariah, or an outcast I am to them, I was still fucking family to them and will always be.


So my festivity had a rough start unlike her's - it was a walk in the park all the way from the start... "Peanuts and TV"

Lastly, I haven't been getting much interesting hate mails lately except for this dude/babe who totally loath my anorexic post. And I thought the last hate mail was lenghty and hard to understand, wait till you see THIS ONE.

xniquet's Christmas Tree

Happy Wordless Wednesday.



Hope y'all like my Christmas tree.



'Cause it took me a pint of myself to do it.



Just so you know I do what I preached.



Wishing y'all have a smashing Christmas and a Happy fucking New Year.

Happy Halloween

playing on my iPod:
Sick City - Charles Manson

Nothing much but the gloomy sky and the rain to accompany me today; finally got a date to announce for the upcoming released of our CD - "Lie to Me" it will be mid January next year. I would like to thank you for the support in purchasing our first EP even though a lot of you weren't able to do so because of the limited copies that is being sold due to our financial limitation. But we will definitely try to make our next release more available. It will be a Long Play which runs approximately 57 minutes.

I know that a lot of us are let down by the entire indie label thingy which because of the lack of fund and equipment ultimately compromise the quality of their record. Talking this into consideration, we have invested more fund and time into making it a far better quality production than spending more on our promotion and distribution.


Due to unforeseen circumstances, xniquet.live WILL NOT be performing our acoustic set tomorrow night in Cherating as stated earlier. Since it is the eve of Halloween - Devil'sNight, I would like to wish y'all a happy and blessed Halloween.

The Malaysia that We Know is Sick

Happy Fucking Independence Day Malaysia; how ironic it is to be celebrating it when after 51 years of self proclaiming of independence, your people still doesn’t feel a bit of independence at all. The freedom of the people is being repressed; people live constant fear to voice out their opinions. A blogger can’t even have the freedom to voice out their opinion and views without being harassed by the government and the police. The government and police puts so much emphasis on tracking, arresting these bloggers who are merely voicing out their opinions while neglecting their real duty in combating crime, bribery and shitting governing of this country. While bloggers are prosecuted for their unpopular remarks that are being made in their blog, why aren’t political leaders and other dipshits with unpopular, racist and condemning remarks made on other media not brought in for questioning and prosecution? i.e. that UMNO dipshit from Bukit Bendera who made a racist remark that Chinese are temps in Malaysia. Another episode of creating hatred towards the government is when The Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission ordered the 19 Internet service providers (ISPs) in the country to block the Malaysia Today website. This is yet another form of repression of the people. When one of us is in chains none of us are ever free.

It is clearly that democracy and the voice of the people in this country doesn’t exist in the sight of the current government anymore. Have the government forgotten that he who governs must first must listen to those who are being governed? The people feel repugnant by the act of the current government, Independence Day will and never have any more meaning to us the younger generation until a reformation is being made in this country. Do not expect us to respect until we are being treated with respect. There is nothing to be proud of being a Malaysian anymore as long as Malaysia continues to be governed by a bunch of incompetent and mindless monkeys. The government should stop being such a loser and give us the bloggers a chance to voice out and criticize and give constructive comments. Instead of arresting us, listen and take in what could be done to improve this sick country that we fucking live in. One thing the fucking government must know that we the bloggers are for this country, that is why we voice out our concern, yet they go against us and treat us like fucking criminals. And so with our fist and fucking middle finger we are here to say FUCK YOU and your stupid ways of running the country.

Malaysia is sick because of your doing, unless changes are being done, I am afraid that the people will no longer love this country anymore. So while you celebrate this day, remember those who had given their lives to free this country 51 years ago; have you no shame in running their dream of a better Malaysia down the fucking gutter?

Fuck you and have a Happy illusive Independence Day!

Indie Day Post

People gets Paraniod during Ghost Festival

There was a tiniest dot caught my eyes and I thought I was going blind, it turned out to be a scab, but I still have this funniest feeling that something bad was going to happen. Each time I face my monitor, I feel like someone is watching my back, something that I shouldn’t be seeing. Each time I stepped in the glassware section, I have this precognition that I was going shattered all the fucking glassware that was on display; Each time, Lind our usual Hooters girl bring us our dinner and smile at us, I swear to god that the fucking huge black fry cook who might be her boyfriend is giving me the hard cold stare and the food that I am chewing on is covered with his saliva or pee; Each time a cop passes by me, I could feel my heart beating outta my chest because he could be arresting me for what I had last night, worst still pull out his gun and shoot me; When someone smiles at me, I just had to check my face and my fly to see if there is something wrong with me; The phone rings and I just freak out that it would be my parents, forcing me to get a date for the wedding; I am jumpy, can’t really sleep and I am constantly in paranoia. But you can’t blame me for being so, heard that the gates of hell, the Chinese one is being opened, and there are flocks of hungry ghost around, having bad luck and being jinxed is pretty much the norm I guess. (this is me trying to justify myself and not blaming it on the drugs and being paranoid is one of the after effects). Anyway since it is the Hungry Ghost festival is upon us and if you should encounter a ghost and didn’t know how to act, here are some remedies:

Speak to the ghost, out loud. Shout, if you feel you must. Explain to your ghost that what he/she is doing things that bother you. Explain exactly what those things are. Ask the ghost to stop immediately. If you want the ghost to leave altogether, you need to say that. This usually works. However, some ghosts won't take you seriously, and you may need to remind it to leave you alone several times before it stays away.

This is s great time to call in a favor form your God, may it be Buddha, Jesus, Allah or whichever one of your choice. Your ancestors could be of help too, since they are from the same neighborhood as the ghost, it would make it easier. So start sending out an SOS signal to the spirit world.

Recommended choice:run like hell…but if you are a blogger, before you run like the wind, remember to whip out your camera or camera phone ask the ghost to camwhore a bit and then maybe camwhore with it a bit, so that you can blogged about it the next day.

Anyway, happy Hungry Ghost Festival to y’all, but I am going to miss it. No more sight of Chinese pink muffins lying on the streets, smell of burn incent and rotten food the next day for me this year. Sigh…..

• Chinese Halloween
• Haunt a House: Ancient Japanese Way
• Ancient Incantation to Raise the Dead

a buddha for you

This piece is actually meant for Vesak Day which was celebrated on Monday 19 May 2008 here in Malaysia while Indonesia celebrated on the 20 May 2008, I wonder why? Anyway, this post may have come late but basically it has nothing much to do with the celebration of Buddhism; me of all people being a nihilist is definitely not going to do a religious post. But this is a post about how I overcome my pain from my current injuries. I tell you having a broken feet and sepsis side by side isn’t a great thing, because you are in constant pain and the pain killers can only do this much. So instead of turning into a more powerful drug, I switch my focus on something more ancient yet new Age. I use meditation to channel all the pain away and leaving more tranquil me. If you are thinking that to put myself in a Mantra state, I would need a Guru who comes from a Buddhist monastery or temple, well you are wrong. I used to think that way too, but after I was given instruction of doing it, it was ridiculously simple steps to follow in order to achieve meditation. Meditation isn’t about sitting in a lotus position but it is the simple method of quieting the distraction in your mind. By focusing on your breathing, training yourself to become “in the moment”; let’s just say it is a way to learn to ignore the thousands of thoughts that usually clutter your mind. Meditation doesn’t have rigid rules you need to master. In fact, all it takes to get started is a basic grasp of 5 simple steps.

Make yourself comfortable

First you need to find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Wear something comfortable like loose clothes and sit still in a straight-backed chair or on a pillow on the floor. You don’t have to assume the lotus position, but you should sit up straight and avoid slouching. Focus your eyes on a nearby object or simple close your eyes gently, whichever feels better and seems more natural. The idea is to relax as much as possible. I know what you are thinking: If someone asks you to sit quietly like that, you’d be asleep faster than you know it. That is okay if it happens occasionally, it means your body is fully relax. But don’t make it a habit, because that will be fucking napping and not meditating.

Breathe

Once you’re comfortable, try to block out everything but your breathing. There are a number of ways to do this. For example, while slowly inhaling and exhaling, say to yourself, “I breathe in, I breathe out”. Some practitioners suggest focusing on a word of phrase that has a meaning to you – lyrics of a song, bible verse, a tag line from your favorite advertisement. Repeating the word or phrase will help the person to focus on breathing. It doesn’t matter which method you choose, as long as you center yourself in breathing and it keeps you from stressing about the millions of other of things you are about to do. When you are done, you should feel like nothing needs to be done, making each breath a mini-vacation. Warning, concentrating on breathing alone is not as easy as it is said, when I first try, I was surprise how terribly hard it is to kick away all the thought that is cluttering my fucking mind.

There you go, thinking again

When a thought intrudes as it inevitable will. Seemingly every few breathes – consciously acknowledge it. Then gently refocus your attention on your breathing again. When fucking agitated, try to return to the phrase that helps you focus on breathing again. i.e.: breathe in, breathe out. No matter how you try to acknowledge the intrusion thoughts, do not let them frustrate you.

Don’t just do something, sit there

You should concentrate on breathing for 15 minutes. Even though you might find it is hard to do so for that long, so try 5 minutes and gradually increasing it. When time is up, don’t rush back to your regular routine right away. Too fast of a transition to real life will make your stress level soar. Instead, sit for a few more minutes and let the outside thoughts back into your head. If you are at a bit open space walk it off because you start your rat race again.

Don’t expect to be saved

Daily meditation will not result in any fucking bright light beaming on you from the above. Nothing dramatic is going to happen while you meditate. But over the time, you’ll notice that the awareness in you practice in meditating will spilled over in your daily life. You will be more focus on a single thing at hand, you will not but threatened by a million other thoughts.

I started the whole mediation thing because I was constantly agitation by the fucking pain cause by my injuries and this has sky rocketed my blood pressure. But now, through it I am keeping my cool and coping with my pain and my blood pressure has lowered. It does improve your sex and ability to become a better lover, which I will be glad to share later on another post about some secret Kung Fu Sex stance for you to impress the shit outta her.

what does your mind says?
You don’t need to be a Buddha to meditate and get results...Happy Fucking Vesak Day Y'all!!!

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