How to Tell That You're Not Gay...

My philosophy about sexuality is that I don’t a problem with anyone who does it in any way. Everyone is equal to me - gays, lesbians or bisexuals. I am not against gays but I just want to do a favor and clarify things that make you gay. So that guys who are still confused about their sexuality can be at peace with themselves. Please note that this list only pertains to guys: All women are by nature lesbians. So let’s get one thing straight (no pun intended) - if you meet any of the qualification below …YOU’RE GAY.

1. IF you ever get someone else’s sperm on you.

2. IF you’ve ever owned a Pet Shop Boys album.

3. IF you ever get hard talking to another guy. If you don’t, you are straight, but if the guy you are talking to gets a hard, you are gay too for making him get one.

4. IF you’re at a gay bar, you are not gay. But if you are at a straight bar and you talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you’re gay.

5. IF you tap your feet to any of the Village People’s songs.

6. IF you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.

7. IF you kiss a guy, that doesn’t make you gay.- unless you get a hard on.

8. IF you have any kind of sex to the Pet Shop Boys.

9. IF you purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lesbian sex together.

10. IF you jack off and you get your own cum on yourself.

11. IF there’s a Pet Shop Boys song playing in a bar and you are in the bathroom with your dick in your hand.

12. IF you don’t cheat on our wife, you’re only using her as a prop to make people to make people think you’re not gay.

13. IF you ever fuck a girl who likes Pet Shop Boys.

14. IF you ever try looking like Pet Shop Boys.

15. IF you ever have sex with a pregnant woman who is carrying a boy, you’re gay. If you get sperm on the amniotic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay.

16. IF you are not thinking about tits right now.

17. IF you know how cum taste like.

18. IF you ever kiss a girl who has just swallow your cum.

19. IF you are a guy model.

20. IF you get choke up listening to The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry.

21. IF you get a hard on while taking a shit.

22. IF you get a hard on reading this post.

RULES I’VE BROKEN: 2, 4, 5, 6, 10(who doesn’t? this probably makes us all gay), 11 (who doesn’t pee with a hand on his dick?), 13(most certainly unintentionally)

FUCK IT…this list is so wrong because I am the STRAIGHT pink macho blogger....PERIOD

Anyway, after reading Chingy’s post on this. My mum bought a can of this (points below). Alright, I am on my way of getting great complexion…wukakakakaka...somehow that line there seems so wrong ...hmmmmmmmm