But My Dreams Aren’t as Empty…







…as my conscious.

To those who dropped words of encouragement HERE...


I thank you so much for your kinds and uplifting words of encouragement, I guess I really needed it. All your words give me strength even in the face of defeat. To be honest I was really tore apart by all of it. I know being the festive season and shit, no one wants to whine or listens to a whining whore. But I finally snapped out of it and I am facing my reality. Right after the revoking of the offer, an SMS came in and Mr. Producer was pulling out of the current project and also all the project funding, just as I predicted. All the blood and sweat that I have been put into the production for months are now just merely bit and bytes taking up storing space in my lap top and it will not be released. But I am still looking for a way to get in on the CD store’s shelf. I don’t know how, but somehow I will find a way. I was this close to achieving my dreams but it has to all come apart.

I guess I have to revert back to be that dreamer that had a heart of gold. When things are so right, it doesn’t mean things won’t go wrong, right? But doesn’t mean I have to give up. Even as I spend my last few days here going around, I am already writing my new stuffs for another LP.

But for now, I am just looking forward to go home. Even though I feel like a fucking chump going back home in defeat but I hope that the people back there will take me as I am and welcome me back. Just less than 3 more days for me in this forsaken land that has made my faith gone dry; another bitter sweet ending here…mostly bitter, the only thing sweet is I am going home.

My life is like a open book, and it is for the world to see, but sometimes nothing is the something that hold me together...