Funny How Life Changes and Now We're Strangers

Was there ever a time in your life, where you think you have found someone, everything in your life was just perfect and in your mind you are just so sure that the strong bond between you and that person will go on forever? She was the girl next door, my playmate, my partner in crime, my school bus buddy, my best friend. From our waking moment, we can be seen together, playing, helping each other with house chores, studying and getting into trouble as though we were one. We used to go to the brook (which was really a gutter) that was near our house to catch fishes so that we could execute them in the toilet bowl by flushing them. She was actually the one who got me into the whole cooking thing; I owe my interest in cooking to her because we used to play her “Masak Masak“(cookery set) toy. Until once, we got tired of playing like small kids (even though we were), we wanted to do the real thing. So we stole bricks from the house garden , a huge tin can (I think it was a Milo Can), we each brought rice and eggs and together with the gutter fish and tadpole that we caught at the brook, we build a fire, surround it with bricks and then cook all the ingredient in the huge tin can. We actually ate it. I cannot recall how it tasted, but it should be really gross. We both got really sick after that. Mid autumn festival was our favorite time, it is pretty much like Halloween for the kids in the west. We are allowed to go out and play at night, but instead of trick-or-treating. We light candles and create accidents so that we can justify burning down our lantern. I remember the mid autumn festival nights that we spent together. We go walking late at night when the stars were falling, nothing seems to matters. We lit candles around as we lay on our backs as we gaze at the stars and talked about the fun we had. There wasn’t a day that we were apart; even all the grownup said we made such a great couple. For seven years we sat together on the old school bus, secretly holding hands while the other kids laugh at us, but I didn’t mind and most important she didn’t too. I hated school then but somehow knowing that my BFF was next to me, school really didn’t matter.

But things got different in the last years of our primary school. She made new friends and somehow, I was left aside. But that didn’t stop me from winning my BFF back. But instead of getting back the affection that I used to have. I was bullied by her and her new found friends, I was asked to do things for them and then later take the blame for everything. You know it is funny, after all these years I can still feel the pain and humiliation so vividly. I have been trying to write this for days, ever since I saw a picture in Jun Jun Riko’s blog, a picture that look just like the little girl who was my BFF. It got me all choke up and tight in the neck. This vivid pain that I am feeling right here right now, isn’t the result of being cane by the discipline teacher or the humiliation that I took while having to hold up my school bag on my head and run around the fields, but the pain of being cast aside so easily by my best friend and my first love. As a kid, I was crushed down to my hands and knees. She never said sorry to me, and ever since, I was a ghost to her. I pretended to be sick, so that my parents could fetch me to school instead of getting on the bus, sometimes I had walked home from school when my parents wasn’t around. The last time I saw her, was the time she came over and handed me all the comics and stuff that she borrowed from me, without saying a single word. Then her whole family moved. I guess this is how the world works; you start off as the best friends in the world and as time move on, you just drifted into separate life and became strangers.

picture stolen from here
Thanks goes out to Jun for letting me use this picture

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