Keeping your Girlfriend…So They Won’t Leave You

There are too many articles in helping you get a girlfriend, but these articles just doesn’t do enough, they never teach you how to keep your girlfriend and thus causing your pathetic relationship to sink as fast as the Titanic. If the sole purpose for your existence in this life is to get a girlfriend whether you are a male, homosexual, heterosexual, metro-sexual, bi-sexual, tri-sexual, transsexual, …etc aged between 3 to 999,999. You have come to the right place, today I shall reveal to you some secret in helping you keep your girlfriend, so that they won’t betray you and leave your sorry ass forever. Remember to follow every piece of advice here, sway a bit and you will be alone for your life…

You see the important thing about keeping your friend is actually having the right girlfriend. Therefore, choosing the right girlfriend is very important; here are a few recommended keepers:

  • Girl with low self esteem – they will want you the most. To help you get one, ask one of your good looking friends to out go out with a girl who is not that good looking, ie: slightly overweight, with pimples…etc. Then have your friend dump her for being “ugly” and that who make her self esteem hit rock bottom. Then you come in for the kill and seal the deal. Getting a low self esteem has never been so easy. [Note: if your good looking friend refuses to help you in this evil scheme, he isn’t your real friend, dump him]
  • Drunken girls – they are really easy too. All you need to do is keep those alcohol levels in her way up there and you will be graduating in no time. To get you started, here is what you do, always fix her something to drink or to eat and say that it is your “family secret recipe” but don’t tell her that the “recipe” includes deadly amount of alcohol in it.
  • Girls who succumb to compliments.-Always remember compliments are the way to a girl’s heart and pants too .There is a very very thin line between lying and complimenting, so treat compliments as your best friend to win over a girl. You can be as absurd as possible and they wouldn’t even notice. Try these compliments: “The fact that you're 10kgs over weight is easily missed when you have such beautiful eyes that make me metlzzzz" and "I didn’t even notice those insane amounts of pimples on you because it's right above your nice boobies."

So now you know the type of girlfriend and how to get them, let’s move on to basic routine and things you need to do in order to keep your girlfriend:

  • Always buy her gifts. That's what love is really about, after all. A great gift would be the CD that you want. If she questions you why you got her the CD that you wanted, tell her that you were just being thoughtful, since you have already gotten her that CD, she doesn’t have to buy you that CD as a gift.
  • If you see her with another guy, she is cheating. Regardless of who it is and what they are doing. Confront her and make her feel guilty as hell.
  • If you caught her with another guy regardless of what they are doing, always attack and beat the crap outta that guy, don’t worry it is not a crime to beat up the guy who is trying to steal your girlfriend. Beside your girl will think that it is manly and sexy, and it also shows just how much you love her.
  • Remember to criticize her constantly because ladies are smart creature and they are smart enough to know you just want to improve her. It shows how much she cares and it will increase her attachment to you.
  • If she catches you in making out with another women, tell him that you purposely did this because you love her because a little challenge is healthy and what she needs to up her self esteem.
  • Insulting her constantly will also spawn the same result.
  • Stay close to her at ALL time to ensure that your love will grow, if you can’t be there ALL time, hiring a Private Investigator is also a good idea.

Remember the secret of keeping and holding on to your girlfriend is treating her right, and the right way of treating your girlfriend is like crap because survey shows that women love being treated like crap, just look at the number of unreported domestic violence, it tells a lot what a woman would go through for the love of their man.