My Apathy

playing on my iPod:
Take Cover - Mr. Big

I went in a bar today, trying to neutralized my current mood poisoning with the strongest stuff they had there; then a women came up to me and start a conversation. She offered me her "services" and mentioned that she can do things that don't even have names for and even though she was fairly aged but she promised that she would make it up with enthusiasm and also for a slightly higher fee she is willing to bring a friend, so that we could engage in a little "menage-a-trios". To be frank, I was baked but not baked enough to bring myself to engage the service of a woman almost two times my age or even initiate a sexual orgy with her and her peer. I decline respectfully and she asked me if I could buy her a drink; seeing that she didn't persist on asking me to take up her offer, I agree on that drink . She made some small talk, like a lonely woman who talks about the weather and all other things. I tried to be pleasant to accommodate her but my head begun to hurt from all the alcohol and her banality. I almost didn't notice it when it happened. I threw up all over her. She was not pleased. I apologized and I left hastily. Then my fucking mood plunged to a record low and it strikes me that what sick and ridiculous puppets we all are, and what a gross stage we call earth that we all dance on. What fun, dancing and fucking. Not a care in the world, not knowing we are nothing. We are not what were intended. I told myself I cannot afford to be naïve anymore. Yes, this fucking world that we live in embraces and nurtures apathy like a virtue. As a matter of fact this apathy has been driven like a stake so deep into our hearts, we begun to use it as a solution. Apathy is our fucking solution to everything. I mean it is so much easier to lose yourself in drugs than to cope with your life. It is easier to steal what you want than earn it. It is easier to beat a child than to raise it. It is easier to run than to stay and try to make things work. It is so much easier to kill yourself and end it all than to endure the pain. Living our life cost, love takes effort, work. Fuck it, I am sick and tired of life and I just don't care anymore.