How To Be an EMO Part 1

Hello kids, today Mr. X is going to teach you how to be an EMO. But first let me explain what the heck an EMO is. Well, EMO is a type of subculture which loosing rooted around punk rock with its distinct style of music and fashion. A person is described as EMO when their behavior or manners and clothing falls into the above subculture, and that is not all. They are often being from a comfortable, middle class background with understanding and pleasant parents. But none of those really matters to them because the EMO will consider themselves as being misunderstood and repress regardless of the reality. *slaps forehead*

Origin: Some people believed that EMO is a culture stemmed from GOTHS, which stemmed from PUNK culture. But this is highly debatable because there is a vast difference between GOTH and EMO: GOTH kills kitten for fun; EMO cries when kitten is killed; EMO wear tight pants; GOTH wears ripped pants. By numerous comparisons, those of a stereotype EMO have more in common with a Durian than a GOTH.

HOW TO BE AN EMO Part 1

The number one way to be an EMO is self harm, and the coolest way to self harm is slitting your own wrist and that have been covered in the previous post. Please refer to it HERE

Next, EMO enjoys dark places and one of their favorite spot is their bathroom. Hence they derive the enjoyment of taking overly flashed pictures of the reflection of themselves. This has proven another fact, the fact that EMO are HORRIBLE PHOTOGRAPHERS. So to become an EMO you need to camwhore like one. First thing you need to get the hairstyle right; the fringe must cover 1/2 to 7/8 of your face at all times and it must be jet black. If you have trouble dyeing your hair black, a black marker will work just as well. Stand next to a mirror and snap the picture and also remember always to use flash. Most importantly never show your full face, just show part of it.

Thirdly, the next coolest thing an EMO can do is bitching. Bitching mainly focus on parents, lecturers, employers and girlfriends. Making up crazy stories all on your own is even cooler but they absolutely must be traumatic, which is why EMO is so misunderstood. This takes creativity.

Don’t worry if you are less creative, I have listed a couple of bitching to help you get started. Remember practice makes perfect.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME, I HATE YOU!!!!!!

I DON’T CARE IF I AM 8, HE/SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN HIS/HER HUSBAND/WIFE AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!

I DON’T CARE IF WE ARE BOTH MALE/FEMALE, WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!

THIS IS HOW I LOOK, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO CHANGE ME???!!!!

I DON’T CARE IF HE/SHE IS A DRUG JUNKIE, HE/SHE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!

(Insert lecturer/sibling/girlfriends’ name here) IS RETARDED!!!!

YOUR RULES ARE GAY!!!!

I HATE MY LIFE, WHY AM I BORN LIKE THIS!!!

YOUR FACE!!!!!!

Alright, that is it for the time, do come back for part 2 where I will be teaching you how to dress up with an EMO, Songs EMO listens to and how to write shitty poems like an EMO.