How to Successfully Pickup Girls at the Bar for Valentine

For those single who are going to celebrate Valentine alone, do not fret, during Valentine the bar will be like a fucking buffet spread filled with single. What better way than to go there and try to pick up someone, it is a win-win situation? You get a date for valentine and she won’t feel lonely on that day. And this is how you do it:

First, as with all animal species, you must locate the correct one to attempt to take back to you apartment for sexytime. When the victim, I mean lucky person fitting this description is located, it is time for the next move.

Secondly, since now you have the perfect person in sight, it is time to begin conversing with her. Yes, they're humans too and humans are a social animal. For the opening few lines of conversation it is important not to ask or even mention sex, as this is a massive turn off for the woman. In some case they might just ask you to go jerk off with Dicky the bartender. However there is 12% chance the person is feeling downright horny as hell and is looking for a good time. Asking for sex will be the first and last words exchanged. If this should happen, congratulations no further reading of this post is necessary and you have successfully pick someone up and is saved from a dateless Valentine. But be caution out of the 90% of the 12% stated above are usually transvestite and most of the guys normally only find out later when they wake up to a totally different person laying next to him in the morning.

Thirdly comes the pickup line, they come in many different forms, from the subtle and clever to the rude and lame. Don’t worry if you are as creative as a rock, here are a few to get you started:

Are you a builder, cause your making me erect! :D

Hey want to go out for a pizza and a fuck? If answer is NO- What, you don't like pizza?

Did it hurt? - She: Did what hurt? - When you fell out of heaven?

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Yo fada, does he steal tings? Cuz somewun stoh da staws from da sky and put dem in yo eyebaws.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your virginity.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your purse and money.

Hello...I've only got three months to live.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your heart?

Are those space pants? 'Cuz your ass is out of this world.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Nice shoes...fancy a date?

Nice shoes...wanna go to my place?

Nice shoes...wanna fuck?

Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

Are you from heaven? 'Cause I've got an erection.

Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.

How do you like your eggs? Boiled or fertilized?

Hey baby, I left my phone number at home, can I have yours?

All of the lines above have 20% of being successful, which means unsuccessful ones will result in instant rejection, therefore use with caution. But if you happened to try to put up a chick who hasn’t got over her BF that just dumped her, the sure-fire way to get her to like you is to treat them like complete shit, since her ex-bf was doing so, it will remind her of how her bf treated her and thus you have just seal the deal.

By this point, if you have done everything as this post says, you will be nearly there. All that remains is the excuse to get her back to your place or you to hers. It is quite simple, as all that is needed is a casual reference to something at you or her house and she will respond with an invitation back to yours or a suggestion for yours.

(At this point if no such invitation is received, tell the barman the lady is going to pay whilst she is not listening, say you are going to the toilet, head to another bar and consult Stage One).

Remember, if the woman is responding, and you are leaving for sex, always pay the bill. This shows you are gentlemen and secures your sex tonight. Happy Valentine !!!!

end of part 2 of Taste Like Valentine