...........................................................................................................................................................................
Since when is it a crime to go watch a movie with a Malay girl? Is there something I am missing? Or is there an unwritten law about dating them? If there isn’t then why do I feel the hard cold stare of 10 “Mat Rempit” like Malay guys, as if I insulted their sister or committed a carnal crime on one of their family’s livestock, and they are ready to drop an A-bomb on my ass. You see I am the one who doesn’t like to make a fashionable late entry during a show, because it sucks. Don’t you just fucking wanna use a chainsaw and hack the idiotic couple who always manage to come in late for the movie , just when the starting credit just ended and the movie starts; and you have to fucking move your legs because they always manage to get tickets just next to you. Anyway, I manage to catch a movie with Lisa just the other day and we were early and the lights were still on when we walked it. Only to be stare by a bunch of Malay dudes; I mean I can understand if the guys stares at Lisa who was looking and smelling stunting that night but instead they were staring at me. I know what you are going to say, you think they are gay but hell no, it was the “I hate you“stare. It didn’t end there, even after the show was over and when we are leaving, I could still feel the weight of their stares.
Kuantan's newest yet most outdated cinema
...........................................................................................................................................................................
Well, today I’m gonna talk about the sex in public places thing. As you all know that it is an offense for unmarried Malay couple to be left alone in a house, or a room. If caught they will be fine in their religious court. Therefore, Malay couples here in Kuantan are getting creative, instead of being alone in the house or room. They are talking it out in the open and being one with the nature. Lisa said that usually, the one that are caught being alone house or room and fine in the court are innocent ones who did nothing and the one who are guilty are not caught by anyone but by the camera. That is why, most of the clips or pictures of outdoor sex are Malays from Kuantan. Then Lisa and I had a good long discussion and we finally came up with a few places that she and I think is the best place to have outdoor sex.
The sign says, thanks for not peeing or throwing your rubbish here, please use the toilet. Apparent a lot of people didn't want to pay to get in the toilet. that is why they pee here (near the stairs)
...........................................................................................................................................................................
But before I proceed, it is good that I give you some definition of what sex is just in case some nerds who have obtained level 80 of War of Warcraft decides to read this article knows nuts about sex and has not tried this mysterious odd act.
Sex for Dummies: Step by Step guide
Sex refers to the male and female, or female and female, or male and male, or male and female and female, or female and male and male and female and camel, or male and eel, or women and vegetable etc. interaction which can result in stained bed sheets, broken kitchen tables, unusual car interior odours, webcam content, or the fame of Edison Chan.
Traditional one-on-one sex is usually performed by a man sticking his penis into a woman's vagina. The two then move their hips back and forth. It is recommended that the hips are moved in contrary motion, so that both move their hips apart and together at the same time. Upon reaching orgasm, the man will experiences waves of indescribable pleasure, then fall asleep, while the woman rolls her eyes, says that she wasn't done yet. The man's sperm or "man jam" is shot into the woman's vagina, unless blocked by some kind of rubber product also known as a condom. According to an ancient superstition (but I think it was more like a quote by some wise guy who wanted to cheat a girl of her virginity), performing sex on a girl is the only way to cure her of virginity. However, sex can also transmit diseases far worse, including pregnancy and marriage. Non-traditional, or "better" sex, can involve any body part, fabric, binding material, latex, whip and hand cuffs, food or plastic device that requires batteries doing anything imaginable to any other body part.
Where people have sex varies from culture to culture. The traditional location for sex is the bed. But here’s a list of locations which Lisa and I could come up (based on our experience and also places where our friends has done it before): parents' house, parent’s bed, aunt’s house, the back yard, the ceiling, at school, back of the b
us/train, public gardens, super markets, public toilets, stairs at the mall, beach, cemetery, on top of a Honda cup C70, office cubicle, Pasar Malam, back row in the cinema, changing room, clubs, Cyber café, car park, tuition class, bible camp, lecture auditorium, science lab and other locations…the list goes on. The only factors that limit the locations at which people have sex is imagination and levels of law enforcement.
In the end, both of us came up with 2 most preferred places which if given the chance of doing it out in the public, we would choose these places…
ONE:The roof of a tall building after dark, heights trigger dopamine, making most women more willing to take risks; and sparkling city lights, blustery wind, and stars overhead make a woman feel both glamorous and horny.
TWO:The Beach, the sound of the waves just creates a nice and
relaxing ambient as you two hump like wilder beast and if you happened to make out while the sun is rising, it will automatically deduct any demerits points that your partner has for you for being so lousy in sex. Remember to bring thick blankets with you when you are doing it at the beach, you don’t wanna get any sand inside.
So if I have inspired you to have outdoor sex, please do it with caution. Here are some safety don’ts:
-Don't go to an unsafe part of the city. This may vary depending on daytime versus nighttime.
-Don't overdo the alcohol intake. Keep your wits about you. You will have more fun this way, anyway.
-Don't go swimming in deep water. If you go to the beach, while you may want to get in the water or swim in the shallows a bit, don't go on out. If something goes wrong, you and your partner are all alone.
-Don't go where you'll encounter a dog.
Besides that you are all good and the only worse thing that could happen to you is just being caught for conducting an indecent act in a public place, unless of course your partner is someone else’s wife. Then the police will be looking for your bones instead.
Some random pictures:
So this is Lisa which I have been talking and been hanging out with lately, the shocking news is....she isn't Malay. The time when I wrote this post, I thought she was Malay but it turns out that she is an aborigines
...........................................................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................................................
The new wing, no machine yet and tomorrow is the opening.....
...........................................................................................................................................................................
RATE ME
heaven
hell