Reunion?

playing on my iPod:
Canon in D - Vienna Boys Choir
(but it sounded more like "O Fortuna" to me today)

6:01pm First fucking day of the fucking Chinese Lunar New Year, I am looking at my own fucking reflection in the mirror, feeling like my whole existence is flawed and wondering what the fuck went wrong. You see I decided to stop being so Amish and drop my habit of plucking my eyebrow and usher myself into a new era of eyebrow grooming with my new electric eyebrow trimmer that I purchased from Watson. Just under RM13.00, this baby guarantees you an easy and pain free eyebrow shaping experience But it never said it was free of any grooming accident. Now with my hair tied back, I fucking looked like a transvestite; with a little eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss and a hot party dress; I would be ready to hit the street. Fuck that shit! But that wasn’t what that was really bothering me.

I needed a dosage of music to turn my frown upside down. Nope heavy ass metal won’t do, so I turn to some Baroque. I scroll down my iPod to find Vivaldi’s Four Seasons – Spring 1st Allegro. I was hoping that it would be uplifting but somehow today it sounded more like Winter to me. I let out a breath but it wasn’t of relief but of dreadfulness. In less than an hour, I will be in a 5 Star Restaurant having my annual family reunion dinner but with the amount of people that will be there, it felt more like a clan dinner. This is the fucking lowest point of my festivity because I am such a party pooper. If there was a party vigilante, I would fucking be on top of his hit list. But maybe it is just me growing into a full bloom green fur Grinch that fucking hates Chinese New Year or I am slowly turning into a fucking hermit who dislikes the presences of noisy cum nosey family members around me. I don’t see what is the big fucking deal with the whole reunion shit. They don’t call or talk or take notice of me on other days of the year but right now they wanna pretend to be interested in how my fucking life has been the past year and suddenly want me to be their buddy?

As usual my dad will be seated with his peers and if there is ever a conversation brought up about me in that table, it would be whether I am a fucking Goat or a fucking Monkey because I was the only one in the family who was born early January which raises the question of which Chinese Horoscope Livestock I fall into. While the talk about livestock rages on there, I am left seated in a table with my peers of which I am the youngest and only one without any offspring. Well, I could be seated with my nephews and nieces on the other table but I would have to communicate with them in diapers and nursery rhymes, so I rather take my chances seated in this fucking table.

And so with the ceiling mounted speaker playing Chinese New Year Songs above my head, I put on my fakest smile and try to be pleasant, merry and joyous as I try to survive this year’s dinner.

As the dishes started to roll out, the questions started to roll in. For crying out loud and for the 100th time, I am no longer in college and yes I am working...well, almost, but that wasn't the whole fucking point. You wouldn’t know the torment I was in, between the tiger prawn and abalone and also the steam sea bass and scallop , I was practically praying to all the gods and angels like a fucking pagan and if I was able to go on my knees I would have been praying like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane asking the fucking almighty to take this cup away from me.



10:44pm my ordeal was coming to an end, now I just have to continue on holding this fucking fake smile as I say my goodbyes, get into my car and bullet from there like a bat outta hell.

With Bach’s Air on G string playing in the background(yes, today i was rather in the mood for some soft strings and cello rather than the sound of guitars in overdrive), my first day of the Fucking Chinese Cow Year draws to an end, and like usual I took out the red packets that I have collected from the dinner and was about to put them inside my car as emergency cash (now you know where i keep my red packet cash), I notice something that I never realized until now. My name was written on every fucking single red packet; I went through all the red packets that I have collected throughout the years and my name was on every one of it. You know what, that scribbled name on the side of the red packet meant more than the 100s and 50s notes inside of it; it meant that that particular red packet was for me and only me. I was fucking speechless, how could I be so fucking blind?

Now I fucking see that even though it is just so amazing; amazingly how much they and I have nothing in common, yet it has never stopped them from trying to get close to me and no matter how much of an alien, pariah, or an outcast I am to them, I was still fucking family to them and will always be.


So my festivity had a rough start unlike her's - it was a walk in the park all the way from the start... "Peanuts and TV"

Lastly, I haven't been getting much interesting hate mails lately except for this dude/babe who totally loath my anorexic post. And I thought the last hate mail was lenghty and hard to understand, wait till you see THIS ONE.

Secret of Keeping Shinny Hair the Metro-sexual Way

playing on my iPod:
I Miss You - Incubus

The motherfucking rain has finally had enough of pissing down on us; no one could be happier to see the fucking sun than my dog woa woa and with the fucking rain gone, it would mean that the long deprived walk that she had been longing for is finally gonna happened today. So me and my dog set out on our usual route, feeling the sun and breathing the cold air as we take our evening stroll. Even the kid whom we pass by every time got excited when she saw us. She shouted my dog's name "woa woa" of which I wasn't surprised because maybe she overheard me calling my dog's name many times. So I thought I would return her friendliness by smiling back at her. Everything was cool up to the stage when she had to open her fucking mouth and call me "Jie Jie" which means "Sister" in Chinese. WTF! Is this damn kid blind or dumb or fucking both? Just because I have long hair doesn't fucking mean I have a god damn vagina. This kid should be kicked in the ass and her parents too. No motherfucking trial, no motherfucking jury, straight to execution - a boot up their asses. That kid is damn lucky that I am not a pedophile. If I was one, her ass would be spitting fireworks like it was New Year's Eve.

Well, coming back to what this fucking post is about - How to keep shinny hair and also adding growth to it. As many of you who have long hair would probably have the problem of constant hair fall and non shinny looking hair. I have always believed in maintaining my own natural hair color and also try to use natural remedies to keep my hair healthy. As I was going through a book that I bought a little while ago about herbs and alchemy, there was a chapter on how to use Parsley to make hair tonic. Parsley stimulates the scalp and gets the circulation going which aids hair growth and add shine to it. It is fucking simple and fucking cheap too. I got a bunch of fucking fresh parsley from the hypermarket for just fucking RM1.40 which could be used twice.


PARLSLEY HAIR TONIC
A hand full of parsley sprigs
2 tablespoon of water



Take a hand full of parsley sprigs, dump it into a food processor and add in 2 tablespoon of water. Process it until it becomes puree like. Then apply it on your scalp and then wrap your head with a towel for an hour before shampooing it off like normal. Regular use of this hair tonic would definitely save you from spending extra cash on that expensive motherfucking hair treatment and fuck up treatment shampoos. In addition to that the next time you go into a hair salon, the pesky hair stylist won't even have the guts to try to convinced you that your hair is fucking damage and in dire need of treatment. These are essential knowledge for narcissistic vain pots like the ladies and the metro-sexual man - all the quality of a gay man except the sexual preference.



Here are some more tips on hair care from the metro-sexual man:
the hairy matter from the grooming guru


article on xniquet-wiki available:
xniquet's hairline

the hairy matter from the grooming guru

After spending hundreds of $$$ on hair products only yesterday, i finally found out that the product is not the only thing that will help you prevent hair loss or hair thinning. The hairy truth is using the wrong kind of brushes on your locks might damage your follicles or worse, bring on premature balding. for every type of hair there is a type of brush or comb for you. But before that let me hand you some tips on hair care.

KEEP YOUR HAIR:
here are some tips to keep your mop plentiful and intact:

1. do not brush against hair growth because this will weaken the roots of the follicles.
2. shampoo with light shampoo everyday. Roots clogged with oil will result in hair loss
3. stress also contributes to hair thinning, so chill out.
4. if you are eating to many red meats, or fatty foods, stop it! Start adding more fiber, fruits and veggies' to your diet. Also, drink water, lots of water. A beautiful inside can only promote our beautiful outside assets.
5. bend your head while you are shampooing and massage your scalp. This will increase blood circulation to the scalp.
6. get sufficient sleep. Like a healthy body, healthy hair too needs a good night's sleep.

SHORT HAIR:

used round tipped brush - the hard bristle brush will move hair easily. it also stimulates blood flow to the scalp decreasing the chance of dandruff.

WAVY HAIR:

vent brush - the rounded tips on the nylon bristle are good because they let you gently shape your hair.

THIN STRAIGHT HAIR:
classic styler - nylon bristles make limp hair stand taller and look thicker. For more volume. try using a volumizing shampoo.





SUPERFOOD FOR YOUR HAIR:
The Hair Bible: A Complete Guide to Health and Care

Beef

If you don't have high cholesterol, eating red meat twice a week for optimal hair health. Not only does beef have the protein you need, but also B vitamins, iron, and zinc, important minerals for healthy hair.
Recommended Serving Size: 3.5 ounces of roasted, lean beef, 175 calories

Eggs or Egg Whites

Vegetarian? Can't eat red meat for health reasons? Then egg whites are the way to go. "If you can't eat an animal protein, egg whites are the next best thing. Their value is underestimated in our society."
Recommended Serving Size: One large egg, 84 calories

Salmon

Try it smoked or fresh at breakfast, lunch, or dinner for a good dose of protein along with B vitamins, including B12, and other vitamins and minerals.
Recommended Serving Size: Fresh salmon fillet, 3.5 ounces, 180 calories Smoked salmon, 2 ounces, 71 calories

Bacon

Although it's not a good food to eat if you're trying to lose weight, eating a normal serving of bacon for extra B vitamins, zinc, and protein.

Recommended Serving Size: Fried bacon, 3.5 ounces, 576 calories

Brown Short-Grain Rice

You should have complex carbohydrates, which feed you energy over a longer period of time than refined carbohydrates, with your protein source at meals. Brown short-grain rice is an ideal form. It's also a good source of B vitamins and some fiber.

Recommended Serving Size: 1/4 cup dry rice, 179 calories






article on xniquet-wiki available:
xniquet's hairline


what does your mind says?
do you give a fuck if your hair is thinning?

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Ipoh girl in a push up bra falling off in Kuantan

Long ass fucking time ago, my mum and Miss Long Legs’ mum was best of buddies and today Miss Long Legs (which will hence forth be known as MLL) is staying at my house as a guest for two months because she will be doing her practical at a local hickass Polytechnic which was relatively near my house and her mum also wanted my mum to keep an eye on her daughter. When she first came here, to me she was just like a young Ipoh girl in a push up bra falling off in Kuantan to be trained as a teacher. Besides having quite good features, she has the longest legs I have ever seen, it seems that it would go on forever and it's smooth, not the average girl’s legs that just look smooth but feel like wood sandpaper. But it was slippery silk type of smooth. Don’t ask me how I know I, but when my dog Woa Woa try to hump her legs, she keeps slip sliding off her legs. If that isn’t smooth, tell me what it is. Anyway, she was the really Chinese kind of girl who only listens to lovey dovey Chinese songs and watch her idol infested Chinese/Korean serials, which leave not much of space for us to communicate. But after she was so kind to bring the cripple (me) out to watch Iron Man and endured the slowness of me getting in and out of the car. I really took the effort to get to know her and I glad I did because I found out that we do have something in common. She was a vain grooming freak, just like me but I have not reached the stage of freak but I do take my time in grooming myself. Anyway, she was the one who psycho me into buy Cellnique products which after I blow a load of money on it, I heard mixed review about it. But so far it has been doing well for me. And MLL gave me a sample bottle of SKII facial essence to help me get rid of my small scar on my forehead from the surfing accident. When I first apply it it felt like it was going to burn a hole through my face but as I went on, just in 3 days, I am beginning to see the result. The scar was becoming less visible. No wonder they call it miracle water. Besides that she also shared some skin care secrets which I think I should share it too for all those vain pot like me out there. In this damn age, a man has the right to have beautiful and healthy skin too right?

Tips:

Drink a lot of water: Just by hydrating your body, you will notice quick improvements in the quality of your skin. Because the body uses water you drink first, if you're not getting enough, the skin may not ever get any extra. By increasing your water intake to at least 8-10 glasses each day, you'll notice your skin become more plump, supple, healthy and young looking.

Green Smoothies: Green smoothies are amazing skin food. Green smoothies come loaded with antioxidants, minerals, vitamins and other micro-nutrients that your skin requires to be healthy and look young.

Eat Yoghurt: Yogurt is the only dairy product that is good for your skin. During the fermentation process the probiotic bacteria make it easily digestible. The probiotic bacteria in yogurt are also very important for healthy, radiant skin because they improve the immune system and kill bacteria that cause acne and other skin problems.

Eat Fruits for Breakfast: Did you know that while you sleep your body is detoxifying and cleansing out the waste material from previous day? This is very important for healthy skin as these toxins and waste material can cause acne and other skin problems.

Diet

Two liters of water a day should be drunk this helps keep the skin hydrated and flush away toxins from the body

Eat vegetables & Fruit

Eat 2 – 3 portions of vegetables for lots of nutrients for the skin,

The best ones are below, but really any vegetable or fruit is good and in terms of vegetables try and eat them raw if you can.

Sweet potatoes tomatoes and spinach.

Protection

Cleansing: Your skin requires proper cleansing to keep it properly toned and clean. Cleansing removes the dust and stress from your face by cleaning the pores and circulating the blood supply. Use a gentle cleansing agent. Face washes are specially prepared to be effective at cleansing your skin gently and tenderly. For your body use a good mild and moisturizing soap.

Moisturizing: It is essential to use good moisturizers since the UV rays and pollution dries your skin thoroughly and makes it lifeless. There is a range of moisturizers available in the market to suit your skin type but what is important here is to pick the right one with the right components in it.

Sunscreens: With the rise in pollution level and the intensity of the ultraviolet rays it is very essential to use sunscreens during daytime to protect your skin form any kind of damage and premature wrinkles even if you are at home because these rays come in through the windows and there is no running away from it.

Here i would like to thank Lisa nice apple cider vinegar and Gary for the medicine for rubbing on my legs. I really appreciate it . You all shouldn't have but it would be nice if you all could bring me some Pepsi because i am out of stock and Pepsi has been a banned substance here in my house, how sad. At the mean time i am trying to train woa woa to walk out and get me a bottle of Pepsi from the 7-11 in front of my house.

what your mind says?
Cellnique don't suck right?

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