Reasons Why You Should get a Hooters Girl as your Girlfriend

You go in night after night and every time she passes you me, you feel like your crotch is hitting the table. You got this feeling inside your gut that she is feeling you. Every time she serves you, you swear to God that she is trying to seduce you by lowering herself to show you her boobies. Even though you dressed up like crap, smells like crap, you hands and mouth are greasy from all the hot wings that you’ve been having and your face is covered with hot sauce, still she smiles at me which totally gives you a boner. Fuck it man, this hooters girl totally digs me; you turn to your buddy and asked them, “ bro, I think that Hooter chic is totally feeeeeeeling me, see how she came over and ask me how the hot wings are… ”, he nods in agreement. And a thought races over your mind, I can do this, I can date a hooters girl, and it is not one of those I just wanna fuck you for the night type of dating, but having a Hooters girl as a girlfriend type of dating. So your mind races to justify your thoughts, what is the benefit of having a Hooters girl:

• Being a Hooters, she most definitely know that the company uses their sex appeal to exploit men who comes in , hence she most likely treats men as objects - objects to be exploited for personal gain; which is exactly how guys treat women too. A relationship founded upon this mutual exploitation has been proven to be the most stable for sexual intimacy as well as the kinkiest, and well...simply the best. And Hooters girls are 7 times more likely to engage in threesomes with a co-worker. You know you might just get real lucky if she brings home a hot co-work for the night.

• Hooters girls understand men better than any subset of women on this planet. Why? Because her work is to understand men and please men; they know exactly what we want: food, booze, and a boner, and she knows that's ALL we want. That's it. No Friday night Gossip Girl marathons, Wednesday night Sex in the City movie, no super expensive meals at some trendy Sushi or Vegan restaurant. She knows you hate that shit.

• While her job requires her to maintain an anorexic figure with huge breast; you don't have to be that jerk boyfriend who has to forced to drop hints to encourage her to lose her fat self. Hints like… “Did your clothes shrink?”, “I didn't hear you throw up last night. Did you forget?" will be a thing of the past!! Yayy!!!

So after reading the reasons, does it justify your urge of getting a Hooters girl as your girlfriend today? Search deep down inside of you; do you want to have a fruitful relationship as mentioned above? You know you do and deep down inside, you have this crush on a Hooters girl, so what are you waiting for. Go pick up a Hooters Girl today. But if you are a nerd who combs your hair sideways, has glasses as big as your monitor and still surf porn late at night just so that your wouldn’t be caught by your mother, Fear now, tutorial on how to pick up a Hooters Girl will be published soon. :)

When I Grow up, I wanna be a Hooters Girl

When I Grow up, I wanna be a Hooters Girl

I still couldn’t get through to Lisa, is the fucking Maxis line in Kuantan down or the whole fucking Malaysia? And I am still feeling like crap. I thought I could shake this feeling off by going to KFC. You know cheesey wedges and dinner plates used to work their magic on me and a bucket of KFC would simply put me in a euphoric state. But you know what it ain’t working. I had mood poisoning the whole fucking day. The sound of the no connection tone is just killing me. Fuck…but you know what, a miracle happened at dinner. I never thought I said this but something other than KFC cured me of this blues and it has got a name. It is called HOOTERS. I can’t really say anything about food because I forgotten how it tasted but I tell you the service here is superb. Hallelujah I am cured from my mood poisoning. Hooters have just made me a believer. I love Hooters

Dear Hooters God,

Please cum to Malaysia and serve us those yummy hot wings to us famished Malaysian guys and I sure hell hope you won’t change that uniform policy. If our stupid government gives you trouble about your policies and code of dressing, slide RM50 under the table and tell them besides the uniform you will throw in a “tudung” (veil) for the Malay ladies who wants to be a Hooter girl. I know you want to spread joy to the people in Malaysia too right (particularly the guys)? I pray all these in the great big Hooters name.

In Hooter Girls I trust.

Amen

A Hooters Addict



For those who doesn’t know what Hooters is:

Hooters is the trade name of two privately held American restaurant chains. Hooters targets male customers with a serving staff comprising only waitresses (Hooters Girl)

For those who doesn’t know what Hooters Girls are:

A Hooters Girl is a waitress employed by the Hooters restaurant chain. They are instantly recognizable by their uniform of a white tank top with the Hooters owl logo and the location name on the front paired with the famously short orange runner's shorts. Originally, the shirts were white cotton, pulled tight and knotted in the back to emphasize the breasts.

Before becoming a Hooters Girl:
They are required to sign that they "acknowledge and affirm" the following:
-My job duties require I wear the designated Hooters Girl uniform.
-My job duties require that I interact with and entertain the customers.
-The Hooters concept is based on female sex appeal and the work environment is one in which joking and sexual innuendo based on female sex appeal is commonplace.
-I do not find my job duties, uniform requirements, or work environment to be offensive, intimidating, hostile, or unwelcome.

source: Wikipedia and smoking guns