Tale of a Modern Slavery: Right Next Door to Hell

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I was kinda out of action last two days because I had a little fall from my downhill biking trip on Saturday and hurt my back. Nothing serious but I just couldn’t sit up or stand up too long. So my weekend was just having some pain killer cocktail and spending most of my fucking time laying on the bed. Someone tried calling me when I was passed out and dosed with painkillers, so my dad picked up the phone. Later I told her what happened and this was her SMS reply ….

Anyway, I alright now and thanks for asking, oh you didn’t? Nevermind. The good thing about knowing someone who works in a cafeteria which is very very near your house is you get to listen to all sort of gossip about your neighborhood. I just came back from Lisa’s and I was being filled in with the gossip of my neighborhood which I always seem to ignored but this was just too good of a gossip to ignored.

the usual nasi lemak minus the hard rock chicken delivered to my house and it taste much better without the fringing plastic ware.

As some of you may know that my house next door has been turned into an LA AMISTAD (La Amistad was a slave ship but she was not designed to transport slaves), the only difference is it can’t float but it has almost the same or equal amount of Niggas inside. How the hell did they get there? You see my ex neighbor’s BF was shot dead while resisting a robbery quite some time ago. But it didn’t happen in that house. It was in his shop in town directly beside the fire department. If you are from Kuantan, you might have heard about it. Anyway, after that incident, she left the house vacant for many years until of late; it was finally let out to a bunch of money hunger Chinaman who runs a foreign worker agency whom filled the house with Niggas (from Bangala land- forget what is the name of the country liao) thus turning our neighborhood into da hood.

Nigga chilling at Club Nigga

At first, I wasn’t that happy with it, firstly because there are so many Niggas staying in one house (easily more than 20), which makes it worse than a hostel; secondly, they are fucking noisy (why do Niggas speak so loud?). Thirdly, they are fucking dirty, like throwing their garbage food wrappers on their own lawn, but we cannot do anything about it. Fourthly, all that ever comes out from their kitchen is the smell of heavily spiced curry which was okay at first but every day? It gotten me pretty sick because my room is facing the back and it is very near their kitchen.

Nigga's Shit

I don’t have anything against them but I just find them rather annoying that is all, but someone in the neighborhood must have hated them because the police kept coming and the Niggas kept gotten loaded on trucks and then unloaded back the next morning again. It went on for a while until either the police got tired or maybe the anonymous caller got tired of calling. But I guess the later is more likely because, the police here never gets tired of negotiating because their throat are constantly thirsty for KOPI O (black coffee).

The Other neighbor eventually turned their house into a fortress after the Niggas moved in

But of late, I kinda feel sorry for the Niggas who was staying next door. I mean the living condition there is bad and almost hell like. It was like maggots living in a shit hole. Imagine sharing a house with 3 room, 2 living living room and 3 bathroom with more than 20 other Niggas and the house is completely bear, no fan, no mattress, no furniture, except for lights. Sometimes the house was so filled up that you see some of the Nigga actually sleeping outside the house in the patio and I think because of the ratio of the people staying in that house to the amount of bathrooms, some of the Niggas uses the garden hose as their fucking shower, shit man that is an ugly sight. If one of them decides to take a dump in the lawn, I fucking swear to God I am fucking moving. There was once the water supply got cut off for the whole Kuantan for a day because of some repair work. Those Niggas in da house practically almost died of thirst, until they had to ask my Dad to give them some drinking water because they were all locked inside the house.

The run down Nigga's Club

Anyway the thing was just a couple of days ago, which was end of the month and most of them got their pay, 2 two cars came and about 10 masked robbers went into the Nigga’s house and rob them of their salary which totaled about RM6000++. If you ask me, the robbers must be pretty damn stupid or they did it on intention because just look at the Nigga’s house, it is almost completely empty and run down and besides cash what the shit do you wanna rob? Their curry powder? And I am not a math genius but I definitely can do the maths for this one, 10 people and the loot is only RM6000++, which would mean Rm600++ a piece for a job that you might get into jail for a long time. Fuck It man, if I have the amount of man power, I would have robbed a rich man’s mansion which is filled with lots of goodies and probably get a golden Rolex that is whole much more than all the Nigga’s salary combined. Hell, if those robbers was smart, they could have just took one of my bikes outside and sell it, it would bloody cost way much more than their loot. If you ask me, I bloody think this is some kind of a conspiracy behind all it. Knowing that most of them are on visiting pass and no working pass, they can’t do anything about reporting about their missing salary and shit like that. Well, that is all I heard and I am not sure how true it is but if it is true. I hope the mastermind behind this will get his ass whoop big time for fucking with those poor Niggas. I mean these people left home and their love ones to earn a better living for their family and not only they end up in a shit hole, their only reason that they are here have been robbed from them.

I feel for these poor Niggas,(from now on will not SMS Nigga jokes to Evie in the middle of the god damn night, will do it in the day time instead), I know not what I can do , but I will try my best to help out anyway I can like providing them Mineral water from BN courtesy of Lisa’s Dad and dressing them up with new clothes also courtesy of Lisa’s Dad. [BTW, I sent Lisa Back home again the next night and I got a box of mineral water, more T-shirt s and an umbrella] It is really un-cool to treat those Niggas like pieces of crap because it is so unfair and so wrong. We all should all hold hands and treat everybody equally as crap.

RATE ME


heaven





hell

Cute Malay Girl Behind the Counter

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Well, I have joined Yebber for about a month now and I haven’t really done any review yet. You see I can never really get into the whole idea of blogging about the food I eat yet. My problem is, every time the food comes, instead of whipping out my camera and trying to catch the best macro shot of the food, I reach for the chopstick or fork or spoon and start digging in then only when I am through eating it or sometimes left with a bite or less, I only remember that I should snap a picture of the food first before eating. If any of you pro food bloggers out there who know of any ways to remind ourselves to snap first before you eat, please share. Anyway, I am just going to do a test drive review about this cafeteria which is just across my house (which will not be included in Yebber)- The name of the place is call Kafeteria One Two Six corner.

I don’t know what‘s with the name but it is a trend in Kuantan to name the Café using the lot number which it is situated. Damn how creative. This isn’t the first one I seen, but since it is their shop, just let it be. First off as you can see from the picture below, you just can’t expect much from a shop which name itself a cafeteria. If you are looking for a classy place to hang out, I am sorry this isn’t the place. This place really gives me the creeps because it reminds me of my primary school’s canteen and I hated school. Especially when I got into primary 4, because I had to go to school in the morning and I am so not a morning person and my mum had to drag my lazy ass off the bed every single morning up , right up until I was form 5; anyway, that isn’t the point. Let’s head back to the main topic here. As you can see that this cafeteria is pretty organized, all their stocks are stacked up as high as the ceiling. Full utilization of space, which also explained why there are tiny lizard poo on the bottle cap of mineral water I purchase from there, besides that, the mineral water is top notch, it taste just like plain water. The food they serve here are pretty simple, like packet Nasi Lemak, Waffle, Maggie Mee, toasted bread and other simple kind of shit and that explained why in all the two years of this shop being in business and me staying just across it in my house which I have been staying all my life never stepped in this shop, but only until yesterday. I will tell you why later.

So it was my first time into this shop, so I ordered a package of Nasi Lemak with chicken (RM1.80 dirt cheap) and then Teh Tarik which cost about (RM1.50).

First thing I wanna complain is the fucking plastic ware. I hate them. I had a very bad experience eating with a fucking low grade plastic spoon, it cut the side of my mouth and this was the exact same quality of plastic ware they were using. The first thing I notice when I opened the pack of Nasi Lemak is it has been there for some time and too fucking long is the exact time it was there because I can already see droplets of Nasi Lemak sweat on the wrappers. They should have put it under a spotlight to keep it warm or something. Anyway, the Nasi Lemak is pretty below average as in I can even count the amount of anchovies and peanuts (anchovies =4 , peanuts = 3) and half a slice of an almost see through cucumber. The taste is pretty okie but it would be better if they serve it with chicken instead of a chunk of rock which looks like fried chicken. Next comes the Teh Tarik, to my surprise, it taste fucking good and almost too fucking good because I forgot to ask them to lower the sweetness. I guess you all should know that it is the general rule when you go in a Malay stall or Mamak stall, and when you order Teh Tarik, you should always ask them to go easy on the sweetness because they are so generous people when it comes to condensed milk and sugar. This Teh Tarik which I was drink was just perfect and almost too perfect. And it tasted strangely familiar, just like the 3 in 1 tea mix that I have at home. (RM5.88 for 30sachet – just add hot water) and you know what, later I found out, that it was the exact 3 in 1 tea mix that they were serving and what a coincidence, they even bought it from the same place I got it from - the grocery shop next door…duh.

And another thing the fucking napkin they let their customer use to wipe their mouth reminds me of the toilet paper I used at home to wipe my ass. Looks like my review isn’t doing this cafeteria any good huh? But I could be wrong, because if what I say is true nobody would bother to come to this shop, but this shop is always flocked with male customers and usually recurring ones. It must the Teh Tarik they serve here.

Let’s take a look at this picture a little closer again. Out of my 14times visiting this shop, I seen guy NO1- 10 times and guy NO2 - 14 times (no he isn’t salary worker here but he is sure hell doing some work here, because he is trying like hell to work his way to the cute Malay girl in white behind the counter). Damn, did I just burst my own bubble saying that I started visiting this place yesterday and I already been there 14 times? Well, it ain’t a secret anymore because most of my MSN buddy knew about it because I was having exceptionally long pee breaks. Anyway, that was how I know about guy NO1 and NO2, and it was hilarious watching guy NO2 trying like mad to pick up the girl in white. I tried to be as discreet as possible by sitting on the same table and ordering the same drink for all my patronage, in hoping that I could slide under her radar, but I guess she was just too good and I couldn’t escape her radar. Was I too conspicuous? I guess on my 14^th visit in under two days, she decided to ask me is Teh Tarik my favorite drink and the inner lameness of me had to answer her No, it wasn’t and that I am just lost and couldn’t get home. She asked me how can someone possibly be lost in a small place in Kuantan and I told her that anyone would be lost by staring into those eyes of hers and that was how I got to know Lisa (which looks like someone but only 100 times hotter)and I also had the privilege to send her home after work. [For more lame pick up lines that worked - proven above -please refer here]

After work, I drove Lisa to the beach and show her a breath taking spot at Kuantan’s Beach. Not much people know about this place because I happened to stumble upon it when I was jungle trekking. Anyway, this is a sure-will-melt the chick sort of place. And no, nothing happen after that, and I just send her home. Being gentlemen as I always have been, I watched her go in to her house, before I drove away, but I got a SMS from her asking me to come back to her house, because her dad wants to see me.

Oh shit on me, for crying out loud, it wasn’t even a kiss, it was just a peck on my cheek,(even my mum gives me that) and it was just a way to thank me for showing her that fucking awesome place. I guess her dad wanted to see who the fuck is the Chigga [Chinese-Nigga] that sent her daughter back from work. But being a man that I am, I had to face the music so I gathered my balls and headed back to her place and went in her house where I was greeted by her dad and her whole family…

...who were diehard Political Barisan Nasional fan and asked me all sort of shit about am I and where I am going to vote and then hammered me with a couple hundred of question of my political views but none about what I did with his daughter. In the end, not only I wasn’t screwed by her parents, he even thrown in 2 long sleeve tee, 2 caps, 4 botol of mineral water and a fan.

Which I didn’t know what to do with it but later I found the used for it…

I have this strange feeling in me, somehow I feel like I was pwned by Lisa…..well, only time will tell…

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heaven





hell

I Love Niggas

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