Cute Malay Girl Behind the Counter

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Well, I have joined Yebber for about a month now and I haven’t really done any review yet. You see I can never really get into the whole idea of blogging about the food I eat yet. My problem is, every time the food comes, instead of whipping out my camera and trying to catch the best macro shot of the food, I reach for the chopstick or fork or spoon and start digging in then only when I am through eating it or sometimes left with a bite or less, I only remember that I should snap a picture of the food first before eating. If any of you pro food bloggers out there who know of any ways to remind ourselves to snap first before you eat, please share. Anyway, I am just going to do a test drive review about this cafeteria which is just across my house (which will not be included in Yebber)- The name of the place is call Kafeteria One Two Six corner.

I don’t know what‘s with the name but it is a trend in Kuantan to name the Café using the lot number which it is situated. Damn how creative. This isn’t the first one I seen, but since it is their shop, just let it be. First off as you can see from the picture below, you just can’t expect much from a shop which name itself a cafeteria. If you are looking for a classy place to hang out, I am sorry this isn’t the place. This place really gives me the creeps because it reminds me of my primary school’s canteen and I hated school. Especially when I got into primary 4, because I had to go to school in the morning and I am so not a morning person and my mum had to drag my lazy ass off the bed every single morning up , right up until I was form 5; anyway, that isn’t the point. Let’s head back to the main topic here. As you can see that this cafeteria is pretty organized, all their stocks are stacked up as high as the ceiling. Full utilization of space, which also explained why there are tiny lizard poo on the bottle cap of mineral water I purchase from there, besides that, the mineral water is top notch, it taste just like plain water. The food they serve here are pretty simple, like packet Nasi Lemak, Waffle, Maggie Mee, toasted bread and other simple kind of shit and that explained why in all the two years of this shop being in business and me staying just across it in my house which I have been staying all my life never stepped in this shop, but only until yesterday. I will tell you why later.

So it was my first time into this shop, so I ordered a package of Nasi Lemak with chicken (RM1.80 dirt cheap) and then Teh Tarik which cost about (RM1.50).

First thing I wanna complain is the fucking plastic ware. I hate them. I had a very bad experience eating with a fucking low grade plastic spoon, it cut the side of my mouth and this was the exact same quality of plastic ware they were using. The first thing I notice when I opened the pack of Nasi Lemak is it has been there for some time and too fucking long is the exact time it was there because I can already see droplets of Nasi Lemak sweat on the wrappers. They should have put it under a spotlight to keep it warm or something. Anyway, the Nasi Lemak is pretty below average as in I can even count the amount of anchovies and peanuts (anchovies =4 , peanuts = 3) and half a slice of an almost see through cucumber. The taste is pretty okie but it would be better if they serve it with chicken instead of a chunk of rock which looks like fried chicken. Next comes the Teh Tarik, to my surprise, it taste fucking good and almost too fucking good because I forgot to ask them to lower the sweetness. I guess you all should know that it is the general rule when you go in a Malay stall or Mamak stall, and when you order Teh Tarik, you should always ask them to go easy on the sweetness because they are so generous people when it comes to condensed milk and sugar. This Teh Tarik which I was drink was just perfect and almost too perfect. And it tasted strangely familiar, just like the 3 in 1 tea mix that I have at home. (RM5.88 for 30sachet – just add hot water) and you know what, later I found out, that it was the exact 3 in 1 tea mix that they were serving and what a coincidence, they even bought it from the same place I got it from - the grocery shop next door…duh.

And another thing the fucking napkin they let their customer use to wipe their mouth reminds me of the toilet paper I used at home to wipe my ass. Looks like my review isn’t doing this cafeteria any good huh? But I could be wrong, because if what I say is true nobody would bother to come to this shop, but this shop is always flocked with male customers and usually recurring ones. It must the Teh Tarik they serve here.

Let’s take a look at this picture a little closer again. Out of my 14times visiting this shop, I seen guy NO1- 10 times and guy NO2 - 14 times (no he isn’t salary worker here but he is sure hell doing some work here, because he is trying like hell to work his way to the cute Malay girl in white behind the counter). Damn, did I just burst my own bubble saying that I started visiting this place yesterday and I already been there 14 times? Well, it ain’t a secret anymore because most of my MSN buddy knew about it because I was having exceptionally long pee breaks. Anyway, that was how I know about guy NO1 and NO2, and it was hilarious watching guy NO2 trying like mad to pick up the girl in white. I tried to be as discreet as possible by sitting on the same table and ordering the same drink for all my patronage, in hoping that I could slide under her radar, but I guess she was just too good and I couldn’t escape her radar. Was I too conspicuous? I guess on my 14^th visit in under two days, she decided to ask me is Teh Tarik my favorite drink and the inner lameness of me had to answer her No, it wasn’t and that I am just lost and couldn’t get home. She asked me how can someone possibly be lost in a small place in Kuantan and I told her that anyone would be lost by staring into those eyes of hers and that was how I got to know Lisa (which looks like someone but only 100 times hotter)and I also had the privilege to send her home after work. [For more lame pick up lines that worked - proven above -please refer here]

After work, I drove Lisa to the beach and show her a breath taking spot at Kuantan’s Beach. Not much people know about this place because I happened to stumble upon it when I was jungle trekking. Anyway, this is a sure-will-melt the chick sort of place. And no, nothing happen after that, and I just send her home. Being gentlemen as I always have been, I watched her go in to her house, before I drove away, but I got a SMS from her asking me to come back to her house, because her dad wants to see me.

Oh shit on me, for crying out loud, it wasn’t even a kiss, it was just a peck on my cheek,(even my mum gives me that) and it was just a way to thank me for showing her that fucking awesome place. I guess her dad wanted to see who the fuck is the Chigga [Chinese-Nigga] that sent her daughter back from work. But being a man that I am, I had to face the music so I gathered my balls and headed back to her place and went in her house where I was greeted by her dad and her whole family…

...who were diehard Political Barisan Nasional fan and asked me all sort of shit about am I and where I am going to vote and then hammered me with a couple hundred of question of my political views but none about what I did with his daughter. In the end, not only I wasn’t screwed by her parents, he even thrown in 2 long sleeve tee, 2 caps, 4 botol of mineral water and a fan.

Which I didn’t know what to do with it but later I found the used for it…

I have this strange feeling in me, somehow I feel like I was pwned by Lisa…..well, only time will tell…

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Learn to Play the Guitar Just Under 30 Minutes…

So you feeling down because you can’t play any instrument and you can’t impress the hot chick or the hunky guy huh? Fear not, maybe someone has just shove a rabbit’s foot up your ass today, because you happened to stumble to this post and I will make you a musician in no time no matter how deaf and blind you are to music. Well, it depends on how fast your brain works, if it is still functioning, you will be one in no time. Learn how to play the guitar just under 30 minutes – Air Guitar of course. And this post is dedicated to Chingy :) This won’t be a long a whiny post It will be filled with diagrams and video and sound clips to get you get rid the feeling of reading a text book or instruction manual feel. So here we go …

First thing you need is an air guitar [figure 1] of course and an air pick [figure1.1] to strum your air guitar see below.

figure 1

Possibly the most influential instrument of our time, the air guitar has inspired millions to pick up rock. An air guitar is the imaginary instrument used when pretending to play guitar. Play by using an exaggerated strumming motion with loud singing or lip-syncing. Air guitar is used in the imaginary simulation of loud electric guitar music like rock and heavy metal. You can play the air guitar with little prior knowledge or skill.

figure 1.1

Next is your posture, depending on what type of music you are playing. [figure 2]

figure 2

These are some basic techniques that you need to learn up before you go on to the advance. [figure 3]

figure 3

Do learn up all the basic technique before you attempt these are the air guitar’s advance techniques [figure 4]

figure 4

Then comes the chords for your guitar, memorize all these chords. [figure 5]

figure 5

Are you still there? If so, you are ready to play your first song now, choose one of the songs below:

Now for some visual aid for the comprehension impaired:This is a video to help you have an idea of how to dress up when you are doing an Air Guitar Gig

Another video to help you adjust your attitude while playing the Air Guitar and also this is how a lady should play the air guitar....I think ladies who plays the air guitar is super hot...

If you are still following this, great you are on your way of become a legendary air guitar player. Here are some tips and warning.

TIPS

• Remember, the higher the note, the lower your hand.
• If you have a cool haircut shake your hair around! (or even if you don't)
• Don't put your strumming hand down too low, no real guitar player will play with the guitar down to their knees, except Fieldy from Korn.
• Pick an appropriate song, I have seen way too many people try to play air guitar to "That's what I like about you" and "barbara ann"
• And finally, don't care what other people think.

WARNINGS

• Too much head-banging can cause lightheadedness and nausea.
• While playing air guitar, it is easy to lose control of your senses. Be careful of objects around you so that you don't crash into them or knock them over.
• If you play near other people, they might think you're crazy!

With your new found skill, go out there and impress the shit outta the girl or guy that you have be trying like shit to impress….

Here’s a little something for you to get started.

Guitar – Mr. x
Disturbance – Woa Woa

If you are up for air guitar, do purchase X's Air Guitarist starter kit that comes with a beautiful booklet, 3 instructional DVDs and your very own Air Guitar. For the price of RM50.00 only. Cheques and all major credit card are NOT accepted, please mail me cash. [Air guitar picks are sold separately.]X's Air Guitarist Starter Kit - rm5o.oo only

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I Love Niggas

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