Even thought I haven't been on the road for that long but it has definitely knock some valuable sense into me - That is in this life or past life or future life, you can never be complete; no one ever will. Some may argue if you are content with what you got, you will be complete. But that isn't the case, notice when you are comfortable with your life and content with your current situation. Something will just slip and slide right through your fingers and leaving you deprive again and so you try to adjust and be content with your current state again and yet another thing slips as you struggle to lift your head high to grasp for air and you try to compromise, it keeps slamming you down. In other words, it is a vicious cycle; we are all chasing completeness and as we do, we are slowly learning the cruel fact that we are never ever going to attain this elusive state of being complete. I won't argue with you if you say money can buy your comfort but the price you pay to attain is far more than the pleasure it gives. The young ones now strife hard to get a better career, so that they can earn money and a better credit rating to buy junks they don't really need, in return only to find themselves selling their soul to their employers and chained like a dog to their financial institute, just because we want to live in a bigger house or drive a nicer car but most of the time to show off. Credit cards are like fucking fish hooks that hooks on our testicles as we keep on swiping it to get things that advertisement evangelist says in order to look good, you will need it, so that you will look like the models off the cover of your Vogue or GQ magazine but the hard fact is no matter how deluded you are, one day you will wake up, look into the mirror and realized that no matter how hard you try, you will never going to be someone else. So what about love? When you are deeply in love with someone, the whole world seems like a perfect place, but what happens when you lose it? There is a thin fine line between a person who is in love and a junkie high on drugs. When it is gone, reality kicks in and everything turns hell. I am not here to ruin your day but I am just uploading some of my thoughts here, you might disagree with me, that maybe because you have found what you have been looking for and I congratulate you but it could also mean you are intoxicated with love or high on drugs that would only last that short while. But for me now, it ain't about the money, it ain't about being complete, it ain't about love; I still have a long way to go but I plan to find it before my sun sets on me. If you are like me, don't choke on life but head out and find out what you have been missing.
Time to drive...
Nothing much but the gloomy sky and the rain to accompany me today; finally got a date to announce for the upcoming released of our CD - "Lie to Me" it will be mid January next year. I would like to thank you for the support in purchasing our first EP even though a lot of you weren't able to do so because of the limited copies that is being sold due to our financial limitation. But we will definitely try to make our next release more available. It will be a Long Play which runs approximately 57 minutes.
I know that a lot of us are let down by the entire indie label thingy which because of the lack of fund and equipment ultimately compromise the quality of their record. Talking this into consideration, we have invested more fund and time into making it a far better quality production than spending more on our promotion and distribution.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, xniquet.live WILL NOT be performing our acoustic set tomorrow night in Cherating as stated earlier. Since it is the eve of Halloween - Devil'sNight, I would like to wish y'all a happy and blessed Halloween.
Trees, cars, trucks, road signs, red lights, green lights flashes me by; nameless town, faceless people, gas stations, 7-11; having instant cup noodles while watching the evening news from TV sets hung high off ceiling are just about the things that just seem to revolve around my life these days; When I am dead tried, I crash wherever I am, I really don't mind bunking in the car because most of the time it is much more comfortable than the hotel that some of these small town offer. The only thing about sleeping in your car is that the mosquitoes always seem to linger around your ears. Just a little bit before midnight, I crossed over the border from Pahang state and I am in Johor State; the time is 0245 and I find myself wondering a nameless street of an unknown town with a cold Lychee Flavored Jolly Shandy in my hand. I didn't know that they have this flavor and I am such a sucker for drinks I never tried before; trust me it is better that you don't know about this drink because it is pure liquid crap at its best. But that isn't what is bothering me; maybe it is the feeling of loneliness and aimlessness that is starting to kick in. I thought about all the ones whom I have been in love with but none of their love has ever been attainable to me; yet the one who loves me I just can't bear giving her just a partial of my affection, it is unfair to her and that is why I left. The irony is why I am driving aimlessly around when what I set out to do was to find something. I guess it is still too soon to tell. I travel light; no laptop, no software, no Photoshop, no nothing to help me blog, so this is just my raw emotion letting loose. Why did I have to do all this? Because I must get out...
