Movie Marathon: SHe Loves the Cock

Monday is the best time to watch movies because everyone else is working, school kids are at school getting their brains mould. No more irritating couples that always come in when the movie just started and they always seem to sit in front of you. No more noisy and smelly kids munching their junk food and keep asking their parents where are the robots. I have been slacking off the summer movies and it is about time for me to catch up, so me and a friend decided to have a movie marathon.

We woke up as early as 10am and headed to the mall. I cannot remember when was the last time I have been to the mall this early, anyway, bought tickets for Die Hard, Harry Porter and Transformers. Yeah, I know I am pretty out dated with the movies but what the heck; we practically have the whole cinema to ourselves. The average people in the cinema for each show we watched were like less than 15. This is why it is worth the wait. We both wanted to see how much popcorn we could eat, so we each bought the large combo, but we didn’t even finished half of it. During Harry Porter, I think I fell asleep not because the show sucks but because I was too tired. Couldn’t back off now because we already bought the tickets for Transformers too, so we went to one of the stalls downstairs to get some “Jeruk Betik” (Pickled Papaya) to keep us awake for Transformers; the whole cinema can smell the “Jeruk”, lucky no one complaint. :P It was night when we left the mall with our asses on fire. Word of advice, don’t watch 3 show straight, I know it sounds fun but it is a pain in the ass.

Tee I wore to pissed off the person sitting next to me :)

My 8 Perverted Sex Fantasies

I am so honored to be tagged by Nux Vomica to reveal 8 Most Perverted Sex Fantasies of Mine. YAY! Finally someone came up with a decent tag. *Reads tag carefully* Oh, it isn’t BUT I AM GONNA DO IT ANYWAY :D :D :D :D :D

But then again, if you seen it done on the Internet, its not perverted anymore. So, let’s stick to the 8 random things, you might not know about me..:P

****Updates:

I am tagged by the ever pretty Princess Eileen , her majesty has decree that I reveal 8 randoms facts about me, so here it goes....:D

uno

My name is “Xniquet” but all my friends call me “X”; even my grandmother calls me “X”. No it is not my real name, I don’t like it and I am not going to tell anyone but you can guess, it sounds so “Fluffy”.

dos

I AM A VIRGIN

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when it comes to smoking; I have never tasted or taken a single puff of cigarette in my entire life and I am proud of it.

tres

I have this thing for belly dancers not dancing, I don’t know why. The sheer mentioned of the word excites me and the sight of the belly dancer makes me pass gas. So if there is any Belly Dancing Blogger from Malaysia (*wink *wink) out there, I’ll be your biggest fan. :)

**Good news for guys who likes belly dancing click here**

cuatro

I like talking to girls who are vulgar but I am not that vulgar myself. Striking a conversation with a girl who can whip out a sentence comprising more than 10 words of vulgarity will definitely make my day.

cinco

My friend tricked me into watching gay porn with her when I was at her house. KNNCBB, she said I haven to be patient and wait for the girls to come out but they didn’t and hence forth my innocent mind has been scarred and my dreams will be forever haunted by the repugnant scene from the movie. I hate you Evie!!! The name of the show was “ARMAGET- IT- ON”.

seis

I am an amateur Kamikaze downhill biker and also a off trial mountain biker, I like biking after it rains because I just love getting mud and dirt all over me. My friends said that I am over the top because I named my bikes SUZI and GIGI.

siete

I spent 7 years of my life in Sunway studying and slaving in an audit firm in Uptown, PJ and after I obtained my chartered license, I call it quits and head back to my place of birth to be the ultimate beach bum.

ocho

I sleep butt naked.

Thanks goes out to Nux for the tag :)
Thanks also goes out to Princess Eileen :)

Will You Self-Destruct?

Here’s a little something for you do to if you have some free time, find out are you on a highway to self-destruction. **Add up your score as you go along…

Question 1 - Do you have a family history of knee or back problems?

A. No (0 points)

B. Yes (+2)

C. Yes, including surgery (+3)

Question 2 - Do you snore?

A. No (0)

B. Yes, but not very loud (+1)

C. Like a Jack Hammer (+2)

D. Not sure, but I feel rested (0)

Question 3 – Do your shoes wear unevenly?

A. No. They’re the same (0)

B. There’s a slight difference (+1)

C. There’s a big difference (+3)

Question 4 – What’s your body-mass index (BMI)?

A. Lower than 25 (-2)

B. 25 to 29.9 (-1)

C. 30 to 32 (+3)

D. Higher than 32 (+5)

Get you BMI here

Question 5 – Have you ever smoked?

A. No (0)

B. Yes, I quit years ago (+2)

C. I light up once in a while (+3)

D. I smoke every single day (+5)

Question 6 – How often do you eat salmon or tuna?

A. 2 or 3 times a week (-2)

B. A couple of times a month (+1)

C. Rarely (+3)

D. I eat some but also take daily omega-3 supplement (-1)

Question 7 – Do you take a daily multivitamin?

A. Yes (-1)

B. When I remember (+1)

C. No (+2)

Question 8 – How often do you pop pain killers for your muscle or joint pain?

A. Almost never (-1)

B. A few times a month (+1)

C. Daily (+4)

Question 9 – How many serving of dairy do you consume daily?

A. No (+2)

B. About 3 (0)

C. At least 4 (-2)

D. None (+4)

8 ounces of milk, 3 or 4 cubes of small cheese cubes and 6 ounces of yogurt each equals one serving

Question 10 – Do you regularly drink soda (either diet or regular)?

A. No. (0)

B. Yes (+2)

C. Sure, but I stick with non-cola varieties, like Sprite or 7UP (+1)

Question 11 – How many hours do you usually sleep?

A. 6 to 8 (-2)

B. 5 (+1)

C. Less than 5 (+3)

D. More than 8 (+2)

Question 12 – How many hours straight do you spend sitting at a desk every day?

A. Less than 1 (0)

B. 1 to 2 (+2)

C. 2 to 4 (+2)

D. More than 4 (+3)

Question 13 – How often do you work out?

A. 3 times a week (-4)

B. Once or twice a week (+1)

C. I go monthly rather than weekly (+3)

Question 14 – Which workout plan most resembles your own?

A. Balanced blend of cardio vascular work, weight training, and stretching. (-4)

B. Random mix of cardio and weight training (+2)

C. Either cardio or weight training exclusively (+3)

Question 15 – Do you feel stiff at the following times?

A. Upon wakening (i.e. until showering or moving about) (+2)

B. After sitting still for a while (+1)

C. Only the day after a hard workout (+1)

D. I almost never feel stiff (-1)

RATE YOUR RISK

0 or fewer points

YOU ARE ALMOST INVULNERABLE

1 to 4 points

YOU ARE PASSABLY PROTECTED (I am barely here. Damnit! I wanna be Invulnerable!!!)

5 to 12 points

YOU ARE INVITING INJURY

13 or more points

YOU ARE WALKING WOUNDED

It’s never too late, here’s some help:

If you score +1 or more for questions 1,3,4
– give extra attention to your KNEES

If you score +1 or more for questions 1,2,12,15
– give extra attention to your BACK

If you score +1 or more for questions 5,6,8,11,14
– give extra attention to your MUSCLE RECOVERY

If you score +1 or more for questions 3,4,12
– give extra attention to your LOWER BODY

If you score +1 or more for questions 5,6,7,9,10
– give extra attention to your BONE STRENGHT

audition: xniquet.live begins

I did a Demo more than a week ago and nothing came back, since yesterday was the date of the audition so I thought that they have already passed me by. So what? Better for me, no need to practice and I can have more time goofing around… hahaha. So me and my practice mate being the sore losers who didn’t want to go and watch the audition, went to the mini zoo and fool around with the monkeys. It’s our favorite pass time.

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE: monkey molestation

While we were resting and having our “Ais Kacang”, we got a SMS telling us to get our asses to the place of the audition A.S.A.P., they actually emailed me. Damnit, I forgot to check my other email account. So I rushed back and luckily I got there in time. The audition were smoother than I expected since the “Me of Little Faith” thought that I wasn’t going to be in the audition, spent more time goofing around with the monkeys than spending time practicing. In the end, we got a place and will be performing at the Swing Club this September. After it was announced the performing band had a little jam. The people who came for the audition but didn’t get the part stayed back and cheered for us. Now I feel like an even bigger sore loser :(. Below is a little outtake of the jamming session, we were at the intro and waiting for the drums to come in. The drums didn’t come in because the drummer has abandoned his post and ran into the toilet because he really had to go… I hope this doesn’t happen to me on the real thing. Lesson learn: Remember to shit and pee before going on stage.

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Do It or Screw It

The best time to do your workout is right after you get out of bed in the morning. Your body is starving, and it’s time to work those hungry muscle so that when it comes to breakfast your muscle will burn fats more efficiently. The idea of it all sounds good but don’t you just hate waking up early and packing your gear and then drive out to the gym? So to save me from all this (I am so not a morning person), I bought this (above) from Giant for RM199.90. It comes with a workout bench and a barbell. Weights have to buy separately. Weights are going for about RM6-9 per kg. I am currently bench pressing 30kgs which is so short of the fitness standard weight to press. I read somewhere that the fitness benchmark for bench pressing is 3 times the weight of that particular person. Means I have to bench press over 200kgs, “Gila” (crazy) ka?

Anyway, I am so addicted to this cream; I got it free from Marie France Bodyline because I went there to “Kay Po” (busy body) and I was talked into taking a free trail and this is one of the free gifts I got. Usually the ladies will apply this cream when they go to sleep, helps to burn the fat while sleeping but I have found a better way of using it. Rub it on the area you are targeting and go for workout. You will feel the difference and even see the difference. I have been using it ever since.

I love working out at home because I don’t have to plug in my iPod, I just simply play it from my iTunes:

Today’s Bench Press Music:

Korn/Thoughtless
If it wasn’t for Korn, there wouldn’t be any Linkin Park; they are the godfathers of Nu Metal.

Nirvana/You Know You’re Right
Nirvana’s last released, many years after the death of their front man- Kurt Cobian.

Depeche Mode/ A Pain I’m Used to
One of the many songs that is good on Depeche Mode’s Playing the Angel. The CD is worth your money

30 Seconds from Mars/From Yesterday
Jared Leto’s band, it’s pretty good but I still prefer “The Kill (Bury Me)”

White Zombie/Real Solution #9
Rob Zombie’s old band, taken from their highly acclaimed album: Astro Creep 2000….

Ben Moody Feat. Anastacia/Everything Burns
A dash of Evanescence with Anastacia’s husky voice.

Megan McCauley/Wonder
I wonder what is taking her so long to come up with an album, I love her songs and so far she has only came out with an EP with 4 songs.

Here’s some DO ITs and SCREW ITs

Lift Weights before Your Cardio Workout

DO IT

You’ll have more energy to lift and have the proper hormonal release, which stimulate growth, so you will get better results.

Don’t Eat After 8PM

SCREW IT

Calories can’t tell time. A cheese burger has the same amount of calories at 6am in the morning and 8pm at night. Plus, hitting the sack with a hungry stomach can disrupt sleeping patterns which can do your diet more harm.

Brush and Floss Twice a Day

SCREW IT

In terms of dental health, once a day is fine. Plaque takes 24 hours to harden, hence one good brush a day is better than 2 half assed attempt.

Use Hard Toothbrush to Clean your Teeth Better

SCREW IT

A soft one cleans as just as well and causes less damage to the teeth and gums.

For Men: Check the Equipment

DO IT

A guy should have an erection at least once a night while you’re sleeping. To test yourself, wrap postage stamps around the base around the base of the penis, and secure the ends together. If the stamps are torn along a perforation in the next morning, everything is working correctly.

…and remember not to lick the “used” stamps when you are about to stick it to the envelope. You don’t want to be licking any Dick Cheese. Next time if you lick a stamp which taste salty, go wash your mouth and you don’t wanna know where the stamp have been before.

Devil’s Onion Soup

Today, I am going to show you how to make French Onion Soup. Any Tom, Dick & Harry can do it with the right recipe and ingredient but I am going to let you in a little secret on how to make your Onion Soup better. I bet you heard of GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out) right? The main ingredient of this soup is of course onions; I am going to show you an ancient ritual on how to enhance the taste of your onions, so that you can whip out the best onion soup ever. Just to clarify something, this ritual will only help you enhance the taste and it has no magical effect, if you are thinking of “Nasi KangKang” or Love Potion, you came to the wrong place.

What you need are:

5 red candles, virgin’s blood and the right incantation and spells .

Use the virgin’s blood but in my case chili sauce to draw out a pentagram. Place a candle on each edge of the pentagram and light it. Placed the onions in inside the pentagram or the circle of power and chant the incantation. Watch the onions as it slowly change. Don’t believe me…watch the clip below and keep your eyes on the onions, watched it change and remember to turn up the volume to hear the incantation so that you can memorized and try it out on your own later.

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE

French Onion Soup

2 T. oil

3 T. butter

2 thinly sliced onions (Large Ones)

1/2 t. sugar

2 1/2 qts. Chicken/Beef broth

sprig fresh thyme (optional)

Heat the oil in pan. Add the butter. When the butter has melted, add the onions and cook slowly, covered for 10 minutes. Add the sugar and salt. Cook onions slowly until onions caramelize and turn to a rich brown color. Do not let them burn! This will take 45-60 minutes. Add the stock and check for seasoning. Simmer uncovered for 30 minutes.

Happy trying…:P

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Pink: This is when my blog turns Pink

xniquet's workout playlist: how to show off in the gym

...when there is no one...

After being absent for almost 1 week, it is time to hit the gym again. I have never been the one who goes to the gym on Sundays; maybe it is stated in the scripture that thou shall rest on the Sabbath. Actually, the Sabbath is actually Saturday not Sunday. But I ain’t no Jew, so what the heck. Actually I don’t go to gym on Sunday is because someone told me that the Pahang’s Football Squat goes there to train and also there will be some overzealous body builders showing off their steroid filled bodies. It will be jammed packed with “Batangs” (Dicks). Unless you are ready to clash dicks, so please count me out. But today, since it was raining the whole morning and it was cloudy and cooling throughout the day, I suppose half of the gym freaks would probably skip gym session and do something else. Beside my ass is flapping and urgently needs some work out…

When I reach there, to my surprise, there was no one there, just me, myself and I. What happened? I thought maybe half of the freaks will skip it but not all right? So I asked the receptionist and I found out that the Footballers actually don’t train on Sundays and usually Sundays are the quietest day of the week. That is why they close at 3pm. CB!! It’s almost 2PM, I have been with this gym for 2 years and I don’t even know about this. Dang!

I make do with whatever time I still have and not wanting to waste all my effort of tying my shoe laces before I came. I started off with warm up on the treadmills (I ran like hell just to get my heart rate up because I didn’t have time) and then I moved to machines before hitting the free weights. It was my usual routine but this time with little time to rest in between. Reminds me of a time when I was in my teens, me and my friend stupidly went in a buffet not knowing that it was going to end in 30 minutes. So being teens and “Kiasu” like hell, we “Bandai” the buffet spread like there is no tomorrow. We wanted to eat our money’s worth or maybe more. What to do, we were young and hungry teenagers.

I had 15 more minutes before they close and I thought I could step in the sweat room for a couple of minutes but to my dismay, it was already close. Dui… “Makan Sendiri” la …Well, actually I don’t mind working out alone, it is fun because I have the whole gym to myself. I think from now onwards, I shall workout on Sundays too. But I seriously need to wake up earlier, so that I don’t have to rush like mad.

The Fly Machine, the one that left me with sore “Katiak” (armpit) for a week once….

My favorite piece of free weights workout….”The Preacher Curl”

Today’s gym workout is powered by Pearl Jam ; I copied my entire Pearl Jam collection into my iPod. I know they are so 90’s but you can’t deny that they really have some kick ass tunes.

Warm Up:

Brain of J.
Lukin
Spin the Black Circle
Rearviewmirror
Breakerfall

Machines:

Given to Fly
Daughter
I Got Id

Weights:

Smile
Alive
Not For You

Warm Down:

Wish List
Thin Air

If you haven’t heard of Pearl Jam, Do yourself a favor and download the song “Daughter” from them, that would get you started.

xniquet's celebrity playlist: my celebrity look-alikes

I present you my look alike

Ok, just kidding...I was just plained bored after my session at the studio, finally it is time to kick back and relax at home, but my hands are just too itchy and I am feeling lame. I thought I try another shot at the My Heritage thingy again. In the pass I have been trying with different pictures of my dog, cats and even zombies but it didn't work. Today, determined to make it work I am going to try a monkey's face super-imposed on my head and see which celebrity looks like one....

After Evolution Kicks in



Before Evolution kicks in

1 st place goes to Pavarotti 73% and the only female Fukada Kyoko looks 64% like a monkey too.. :P

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