Anonymous said...
“I would fatally slit my wrists if I wasn't such a friggin' coward when it comes to pain. Anyone know of a practically painless way to commit suicide that doesn't involve buying special equipment?”
Comment taken from How to Slit Your Wrist the Right Way
I guess most of us are afraid of pain and even those who wants to commit suicide. So the solution is to get the most painless and simple DYI way to die. This is your luck day because like a cheap coupon, death is on sale today. Before letting you all in the most painless way to commit suicide, here’s a list of the most common way to have a DYI Death and the consequences in case of failure.
Drowning
How it’s Done: Maybe a relationship tremor has caused you to rethink your life here on the planet, and the weight of it all has made you decide to drown yourself. Sometimes, driving or even convincing yourself to walk into a large body or water will do it, otherwise many perish in as little water as a slightly-filled bathtub.
Results From Failure: Oxygen deprivation can cause severe and permanent brain damage
Electric Shock
How it’s Done: Sometimes the thought of continuing to live in a world inundated with problems and insurmountable issues results on one wanting to die by electric shock. Something as simple as jamming a utensil in a wall outlet, to the more notable dunking an appliance in an occupied bathtub, can result in death by electric shock.
Results From Failure: Deep burns from 500-1000 volts, ventricular fibrillation at 110-220 volts, and severe neurological damage.
Exsanguination
How it’s Done: Frequently the most obvious way to rapidly harm one’s self yet pass on relatively slowly, is to slit the wrists or the carotid, radial, ulnar, or femoral artery. Using a sharp implement is the easiest way to go. Razors or knives are popular. Contrary to popular belief, the effective method for this is not to cross the wrist, but to draw the blade up the forearm (as is evident in the photograph above). This is the same way Japanese perform Jigai (women) and Seppuku (men), although their’s is often for more spiritual purposes.
Results From Failure: Extreme loss of blood causing the heart to dramatically slow eventually depriving the brain of oxygen. Also, most often, deep scars and tissue damage.
Jumping
How it’s Done: Pondering the emptiness in one’s life can be a painful experience. Yet, when it all seems so overwhelming, you might decide to plummet from a significant height to your own death. Leaping from a building to the pavement below is quite lethal, and popular. However, romantics may choose to use a cliff over jagged rocks. Or bridges.
Results From Failure: Shattered femurs from impacting with water up to severe bodily harm from impacting with any solid surface
Suffocation
How it’s Done: You’ve decided that your life is in disarray and you can no longer stand the pressure. One way to end it all is to encase your head in a plastic bag and asphyxiate yourself. Or, if you’re really ready to go, nitrogen or helium directly inhaled is useful.
Results From Failure: Turning back at the last minute before passing out can result in serious and long-lasting to permanent brain damage.
Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
How it’s Done: It’s all so difficult and the full weight of the world is seemingly square upon your shoulders. You’ve decided to go to the great beyond and you are going to lock yourself in a car, in a closed garage with the engine running and go to sleep. Or, if you have any appliance that puts of CO, that’ll do.
Results From Failure: CO molecules irreversibly attach themselves to human hemoglobin and the result is often fatal even if one backs out.
Poisoning
How it’s Done: Romeo and Juliet had it down when, once seeing the other presumably dead, the other fatally poisons himself. Taking a substance internally not meant to be done so can be considered poisoning: cleaners, industrial fluids, diazepam, cyanide, and the like.
Results From Failure: The toxic levels of poison required to kill one’s self are generally non-reversible. However, hospital staff can attempt it and often make one vomit or something similar. Lasting effects can include internal organ damage.
Hanging
How it’s Done: It’s all over. Nothing in life seems to make it worth living any more. You can acquire a length of rope and construct yourself a noose, which is, by the way, considered a deadly weapon if tied correctly. Once built, wrap one end securely around something high: a rafter or a ceiling fan, and leap, head fastened within the loop, from a chair. Or, if you’re short of rope, anything strong enough to support your weight from your neck can be employed.
Results From Failure: Brain damage from lack of oxygen, Often, failure to actually break your own neck may only yield strangulation and you can be saved, but damaged. Also, permanent rope burns or implement scarring can occur.
Drug / Alcohol Overdose
How it’s Done: The pressure and stress of daily routines has beaten you down for the final time. Within your medicine cabinet lies the answer to your extermination: prescription and over-the-counter meds. A huge mouthful can do you right in. Or, to speed along the process, couple your target pills with a few swigs of alcohol. Many of our favorite musicians have chosen this route. Even alcohol alone, in extreme excess can kill you.
Results From Failure: Severe to permanent organ failure if successful removal isn’t achieved, as well as impaired judgment. Often, clinical assistance is necessary if attempt is repeated.
Gun Shot
How it’s Done: One of the most often achieved forms of suicide is by gun shot. Generally a head shot is desired since its results are 99 percent effective, however a chest shot can be equally as devastating.
Results From Failure: Sometimes the blast isn’t enough to kill. In this case, severe to permanent bodily damage can occur as well as blood loss, organ and tissue damage, and brain damage.
And as promised THE MOST PAINLESS WAY TO COMMIT SUICIDE is one where a person goes to sleep and doesn't wake up. It can be accomplished with an overdose of barbiturates or other drugs, or with a large plastic bag which kills by carbon dioxide suffocation. Carbon monoxide, produced by an automobile engine, also works, but it is generally unpleasant.
Since Death is on sales here, here another list of the worst ways to die:
-Being deep fried alive. You would burn and eventually you would have to open your mouth to inhale, letting in the burning oil and deep frying your lungs
-Go to the time displacement chamber travel back to the year before you were born, and kill your mother!
-Staying in an infinite loop that you can't get out of.
-Getting run over by an ambulance that was suppose to come and save you.
-Being Aborted.
-Making out with a hyeana or rabid wolverine.
-Being raped and decapitated by a teddy bear with a thirst for blood and man flesh.
-Cracking open a egg and finding a fully formed chicken --- And then cooking it into your omelet anyway --- and then choking on its tiny bones.
-Accidentally drinking that milk that you had left in the cupboard for the last month or so.
-Being run over by a trailer ---- seven times.
-Waking up a dead person, and then realizing that they are dead, makes you have a heart attack, and then THEY wake YOU up dead.
-Being a vampire and sucking out someones blood and after they yell "haha, I have AIDS!!"
-Attempting to solve hunger by not eating.
-Papercut inflicted by Giant Paper.
-Alien lays eggs inside your chest.
-Premature reincarnation.
-Reverse diarrhea.
-Castration By Wooden Spoon.
-Eaten by zombies, turned into a zombie, then eaten by zombie eating superzombies.
-Choking on your own vomit.
-Fatal Watermelon-related accident.
-Choking on air.
-Choking on your own poop.
-Gaining super strength, but not super toughness then crushing yourself trying to bench a car on a park bench.
-Driving a burning car into a burning building where they store chainsaws and acid and then the firemen come but they're actually alligators in acid proof fireman disguises and they spray you with vinegar and lemon juice and swallow you whole and inside the alligator's stomach is this little guy who's like "This is my home get the hell out!" and he shoots you with a shotgun full of rock salt and sicks his pet badger on you and saws your leg off and he kicks you out and you get a staph infection in the alligator's colon and you're pooped out into the sewer where you drown in filth and the city power main breaks and lands in your eye electrocuting you and your spleen explodes and you find out you have AIDS and a ninja turtle fucks you to death and now he has AIDS and you're covered in radioactive ooze and your ass becomes a mutant crab that starts pinching your ass and a hobo steals your skin and they take you to the morgue and freeze you to death and the coroner is that damn ninja turtle who fucks you to death again and gives you AIDS again and a spider lays eggs in your hair and they bury you alive and you suffocate and the bottom falls out of your grave and you fall into a bottomless pit and you go to hell.
-Being too stupid to live.
++update: this is actually a reply of the comment on one of my previous post.
how to slit your wrist the right way
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