xniquet's middle finger technology: March 2008

ancient incantation to raise the dead: a ching bing's tale

Saturday night, one day before Ching Bing, how totally awesome it would be if i would have been killed by a freak accident because I was observing and doing my part for Earth Hour. I hopped to the light switch to flip it off and hopped back to my bed and only to be greeted by the sharp edge of a hard cover book on my bed. It got me in the ribs but just only enough to give me a nasty scar but it wasn’t enough to permanently rest me. But I tell you it was shit load of pain, enough to make me scream and if you heard a scream just moment after the lights went off, that was probably me. But wouldn’t it be cool if a person dies by being stabbed by a book that would probably be the first, was so close yet so far.

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Anyway, coming back to Ching Bing, every year, my family and i would drive approximately 60kms outta town and head to Cukai/Kemaman which is my parent’s hometown and also the resting place of my late great grandmother and grandfather. And for your information, this place is also known as the “Kerepok Lekor” (Malay Food made outta fish) capital of Malaysia. And if you still have no idea what Ching Bing is, well it is a day where the living ones goes to the dead one’s tomb, clean it and pay their respects. i am not sure way, maybe it is Feng Shui, but why do the Chinese always have to bury their dead on top of the hill. i only thought about it this year because since now i have a broken foot, how the hell am i going to climb up that hill? But that didn’t stop me from going on that trip. This is the first trip for me just sitting in the car all the way and all the time and also the first trip for Woa Woa who had so much fun running up the hill, so much so my dad had trouble catching up with her.

Woa Woa was really enjoying the view of the village side of town and was looking out for monkeys on coconut trees to bark at.

While everyone including woa woa were attending to Ching Bing business, and i took the time to play with my camera’s panorama features and took this picture from the car. As you can see, Number 1 denotes the resting place of my great grandmother and Number 2 denotes my grandfather.

Alright here are a little something extra, for those who are not really into creepy stuff can stop here and check out my next post, tomorrow or maybe sooner. But if you wanna learn something cool, read on. i think a lot of you believe that what that is dead should stay dead right? And we shouldn’t toy with some thing as life and death. Even in the Disney animation Aladdin, when the genie warn Aladdin that he can wish for anything except for a few thing and bringing back the dead is one of them. So now we can comfortably say that bringing back someone from the is not really generally accepted. But there are still people out there who think otherwise. Men has long been trying to conquer this thing call death but until now, they have not been successful. What is it that drives them to blur out the line that separate the living and the dead? Fear of dying? Immortality? Pain of losing someone they love? i guess these are a few. In history, there are a few instances that records the resurrection of the dead, especially in the bible. So brothers and sisters in Christ, i bet these verses from the bible might ring a bell. (1 Samuel 28) - This isn’t the real deal yet because this is just an interaction between Israel's current king and Samuel a prophet with the help of the witch of Endor. And also from Matthew 9:18 – 23, where Jesus raised a dead little girl, a son of a widow (Luke 7:22) and who can forget Lazarus, the dude who has been dead for 4 days and smell bad (John 11:38 -43). The Bible is full of it, when you read the last book in the bible, there is going to be a mass resurrection of the dead. So do you think raising the dead is wrong? Yes? No? But it would be creepy right? Anyway, if you think that it is still impossible, I found this from the book that nearly stabbed me to death. It has an Incantation of raising the dead, don’t know it will work or not, why don’t you give it a try and let us know if it does.

INCANTATION FOR RAISING THE DEAD

LIGHT FOUR CANDLES AT NIGHTFALL AND CAST THEM TO THE FOUR DIRECTIONS (North, South, East and West). THEN PLACE A GLASS OF WATER AT THE BASE OF EACH CANDLE. PLACE HUMAN BONE, HAIR OR FINGERNAILS IN A COPPER BOWL AND IGNITE. PLACE THE BOWL IN THE CENTER OF THE FOUR CANDLES, THEREBY COMPLETING THE PENTAGRAM OF NEGATIVE SPACE. LAY A SOLID LINE OF MOIST EARTH IN A COMPLETE CIRCLE AROUND THE CANDLES. ON THE OUTSIDE OF THAT CIRCLE, LAY ANOTHER CIRCLE OF COMMON SALT.

NOW BEGIN THE INCANTATION BELOW AND SPEAK LOUDLY AND CLEARLY

HIC EN SPIRITUM
SED NON INCORPORE
EVOKARE LEMURES DE MORTUIS
DECRETUM ESPUGNARE
DE ANGELUS BALBERITH
EN INFERNO INREMEABLIS

NOW LOUD AND FAST

WA TA NA SY YAM
WA TA NA SY YAM
WA TA NA SY YAM
WA TA NA SY YAM
WA TA NA SY YAM

*EXTINGUISH CANDLES *

i don’t know about you but the Ching Bing Trip had taken a lot from me and I am all worn up and laying in bed and only to be woken this morning by the doctor who said that i might have something called sepsis which is blood poisoning because of the cuts to my legs and i am allergic to shell fish and sort. Gee great now what would i do? Stay in bed all day again...damnit. Well, as for the above spell, if you happened to be successful in raising the dead, remember to do what bloggers always do - Take lots and lots of picture, camwhore with the thing you resurrected and blog about it. Have a nice day!!!

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cook meals under 30 minutes

If you are in a rush and wants to cook up a meal that is fast and filling, here is something you can make just under 30 minutes. After days of having Lisa's kick ass waffles, i guess it was my turn to give her a version of my waffles. So i turned the normal waffles from a dessert dish to a main dish instead. I tweak the normal waffle mixture to make it a more salty based and more fiber based to make it more filling than the usual waffles.

what's inside the waffle mixture:

-1/3 portion flour
-1/3 portion of wholemeal flour
-1/3 portion atta flour (not sure what is atta flour called)
-non fat milk
-brown sugar
-low sodium salt
-eggs
-olive oil

what is inside the mushroom gravy

-Campbell mushroom soup
-button mushroom
-green pea
-celery
-chicken chucks
-potatoes

Lisa was loco about the waffles i made for her and gave some to her aunty the owner of the cafeteria which Lisa is working in and her aunty wanted to put that dish in her shop's menu if it is okay with me. Well, i am more than happy and to be honest i am pretty happy about it cause finally i have one of my creation on sale now, even though it is not for my own future restaurant but it was a step to see if my creation is acceptable to the general public. it will be introduced to the menu next month and hopefully it would be a hit. Guys if you are trying to impress a girl, remember cooking dinner for her is one of them. The trick is to make a meal that looks difficult but leaves room for errors. Like this one here, especially the mushroom gravy. Here's a little something for all yous guys who wants to cook to impress, i have listed a few things that keeps me organized when i am cooking in the kitchen.

xniquet's cooking organize list

- prioritize the cooking
make cooking your focal point and tackle it as you would a hostile takeover. Have rags ready for wiping spills, sharpen knifes and have all your serving dishes rinse, dried and ready. figure out what sort of ingredient should remain in the fridge until last minute. (yogurt, cream, veggies and meat) and those can be lain out early and within easy reach. (potatoes and garlics)

-read through recipe throughly
this will ensure you get all the ingredient you need are ready. No more delay searching for the missing ingredient or running out to the store.

-do more than one thing at a time
don't be idle, and watching a pot will never make it boil faster. Instead chopped vegetable or measure ingredient or set the table while waiting for the water to boil, the meat to brown or the oven to pre-heat.

-gradual cleaning
wash dishes, clear the table of scraps and soak the pans as you go along or your sink will overflow. To prevent stinky spills, line your garbage bin with newspaper to absorb pesky drippings before inserting the garbage bag.

-use time saving methods
food processor effectively slice and chop or grate vegetables. Microwave also cuts down preparation time and no mess method for melting margarine or toasting nuts. Use kitchen kitchen scissors to snip fresh herbs or dried fruit.

So these are a few things that i always work with when i am preparing a meal and i fucking hope that you are able to get something out of it when you prepare your meal. But it will be a while for before i hit the kitchen again. Tomorrow is Qing Bing for my family and we are going to travel about 45km outta town to visit our deceased family members (my grand dad and great grand mother). Well, till then, i hope i don't get anymore high fever because i wouldn't wanna miss tomorrow's outing. To those who are driving outstation to pay their respect to tomorrow , drive safe.

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guys prefer augmented breast to natural ones?

Is plastic fantastic?

With a nip here and a tuck there, and implants everywhere, a person’s appearance can be dramatically altered. Is it a good thing or is it un-natural? An Unreasonable beauty bar has been set. Good for those who got it done but too bad for those who didn’t do it? Is it for the men that the ladies are doing it? Why don’t the ladies ask the men, what they think before considering it? Hear them out and see what they have to say.

Some mixed answers here…

I prefer natural, but if a boob job makes them feel sexy, why not? – beng, surfing friend, 35

if a woman is obsessed in changing how she looks, who’d say she won’t want to change me? – burney, surfing friend, 21

if all the women look alike, what is unique about the one special to you? I don’t even like make up on my girlfriend. – snake, band mate, 25

about time she realized she needs it. – robin, drinking buddy, 34

a women with a very small breast should have their breast done up, not only for my pleasure but for her self esteem. – shung, friend, 40

it’s her body and her decision, but I like the way my wife’s breast the way it is. – some guy in the bank, 45

my kids need braces, the dining table needs to be replace, the house needs painting. – the chatty neighbor, 32

I am not a big breast lover, so no need to waste money on that - jian, blogger, 22

of course natural ones, because it is more natural to touch - willazz, blogger, 2?

natural of course, my girl ain't a porn star - flux, blogger, 22

I like natural breast because it's not fake and I can squeeze it as hard as I want whenever i like - royalshortness, blogger, 23

natural ones, reason is: 1 my preference; 2 i don't like to feel fake ones. - bones, blogger, ??

natural, augmented one can see cannot touch - min, blogger, 19

It feels like sand bags. – the 40 year old virgin, 40

If I wanted to feel fake boobies, I’d buy a blow up doll. – xniquet,28

ps: will tell you readers why, I did this survey and no, i am not going for a sex change if that is what your twisted mind is thinking.

some updates on my foot: yeah it is pretty much confirm that it is broken. I suspected it ever since my whole foot turned black.Anyway, maybe I spoke too soon about playing extreme sports and not having any bones broken before and so here I am. So no more driving for a few months, no more shoes, no more surfing, down hilling and damn I can't even walk over to Lisa's for waffles. But she was kind enough for dropping over so frequent and always bringing me goodies and keeping me company even for a short moment because she had to go back to work. For your information Lisa's works just across my house, less than 1 minute walk over (max). It was nice of her to bring me my favorite waffles and also some traditional medication for me to rub on my feet, that was when we still think that i just sprain my foot. I don't know what it is but it has chunks of wood and it is kept inside a old Nescafe glass container. At least it is not some dead animals soak inside that medicine, but it was very thoughtful of her. Promised her to do a full course dinner for her when I am back on my feet again. For now, I think I just have to lay on my bed and start recovering. Damn the problem for me now is getting up and going to the toilet and doing my business, i am so not use to the peeing sitting down business, I feel like a bitch!

ladies should listen to the end user before getting their boobies done...

article on xniquet-wiki available:
the breast

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she isn't from venus and you are not from mars

Your wife or girlfriend may have a heavenly body, but she isn't from Venus and you are not from fucking Mars or Uranus. The difference between men and women are what is inside their fucking thick skull. Men are reliant on the brain's left hemisphere and consequently are more to the point than women, who uses both side of the brain and so many at times overwhelm man with too many fucking words. That is the reason we tune out every time she starts her horror stories and rant about work and why we don't talk about ours. Men are often denial about problems because the right side of the brain that lets us know they exist. Women has a greater access to the right brain which is more negative, so that is why they tend to take comment the wrong way. Eg: like when you say, " YOU LOOK GREAT", and she hears " YOU GAIN WEIGHT". So guys be careful, you don't wanna be rubbing the clit the wrong way, do you?

here is a little fun facts about your brain:

weight of the average guy at birth is: 400g (same as a official FIFA football)

age at which the brain: stop growing-13 ; start shrinking-30

weight of an average he brain: 1.40kg

weight of an average she brain: 1.25kg

percentage of men who thinks male and female brain are wired differently: 90%

number who thinks women are the smarter sex: 1 in 3

area of a man's brain that lights up during orgasm: ventral tegmental area (VTA)

substance that makes his VTA lights up just as brightly: heroin

calories that an average guy's brain consumes daily : 25% of his total intake

number of brain cells the average guy estimates he has : 1 billion

how much he is off by: 99 billion

amount of electricity the average guy's brain produce : 25 watts

percentage of the average guy's brain that remains active during sleep: 100 %

number of men who wish that was such a thing as brain transplant : 1 in 5

what average guy consider to be the best measure of a man's intelligence: career success

runner up: ability to understand a women

a little update: when I said I wanted to embrace the male carpe diem death cliché yesterday, I think I might have lay it a little too thick and this is what you get for body surfing too far out at night and not being able to see the rocks. Left foot smashed on a rock and result in having a pig's foot and not being able to wear shoes and fucking hell even slippers and go across my house for free waffles. But my left foot will be much better than my skull though, maybe i should be thankful or maybe not. But it still haven't deteriorate my mojo and ability to blog.But the only thing that dampers my blogging spirit is the sucky line in my room, i wonder why the connection is so bad in my room.

does she still think she is from Venus now?

Articles on xniquet-wiki available:
what the hell is bren?

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people who complicates your life

Alright this is a tag by curryegg and I am suppose to list out the top 5 presents that I wish for, but I guess I am always fickle minded about material things because they keep on changing, and by the time someone gave me the thing that I wanted now, I might have already change my mind, so why not I list out things that I haven’t done and I think I should take the leap of faith and jump straight in on it.

Top 5 things that I never done but I think I should

Pursue a woman not because she is hot but she is cool. Hotness attracts me I guess not only me millions of guys too but why not, try not the looks for the change.
Be debt free. Compounding interest is like a bitch, she will go both ways. I think it will be better if she goes my way.
Disagree with the person with I fear the most. Not that I have any at the moment but when the time comes, I wanna see how I am able to stay true to myself in the eyes of fear
Embrace the male carpe diem death cliché. I will die; my friends and dozens of bungee jumpers, sky diver, surfers, kamikaze downhill bikers, rock climbers too. Realization that we have limited mortality, I think I should get up my roof and clear the fucking beehive.
Getting rid of the people who complicate my life.

Here’s the bonus: relating to number 5. Here’s the 5 person that complicates my life and how I am trying to make them go away:

1. the chatty neighbour

Complicate my life by: being a permanent fixture at my door, so much so disrupting my ability to MSN with my friends while I do my work.
Ways to neutralize: boring him. Don’t engage, and don’t say anything that might lengthen the conversation.

2. the nagging aunty:

Complicate my life by: giving unsolicited advice.
Ways to neutralize: befriending the enemy. Take her out to lunch and do a handiwork in her place. At the very least, I might get to understand her motivation and she might get to see how a well balanced person I am and thus she will be less pesky.

3. the pushy salesperson

Complicate my life by: trailing you around the store.
Ways to neutralize: dress down, because salesperson tends to approach a person who is better dressed up than the other.

4. the tragic friend

Complicate my life by: complaining about his existence.
Ways to neutralize: telling him a joke, preferable a dirty one, it will stop him long enough for you to change the subject.

5. The never do well sibling

Complicate my life by: borrowing money and third wheeling your life.
Ways to neutralize: shut her out. Don’t not lend any more money; instead help her get up on her feet. Because the more I lend, the worse it will get until I say no, she will then only realized that she needs to do something.

Continuation of the tag:

The person who tag me is: curryegg

My five impressions on her: full of life, always smiling in her pictures, passionate about blogging, has a thing about eggs and the person who give me this tag. I guess I am not too sure about this because, I never met her or even spoken to her.

Most memorable thing she has given: pretty obvious isn’t it, giving me this tag la…. :P

Most memorable words she said to me: can’t answer that because we never spoken.

If she becomes my lover, I will: stop beating and killing eggs…

If she becomes my enemy, the reason would be: my cholesterol level too high?

OK this is the part where I am suppose to list out 5 bloggers , so I will be very random and will chose blogger no 5, 10, 15. 20,25 from my blog roll and they are:

Who is no.3 having a relationship with: someone in Malaysia I think, have to check with EB.

Who is no.5 having a relationship with: her boyfriend.

If no.2 and no.3 are together will it be a good thing? Yeah, but then again no.3 have already found his significant half.

What about no. 4 and no. 5? What sort of togetherness are we talking about ? if you are reading my mind, Hell yeah, I would love to see two hot chicks together, if you know what I mean :P~~~~

What is no.3 studying? This has just reminded me to ask him when I see him. okie, i just did, see below...

When was the last time I chatted with no. 5? Some time ago on MSN, I think just before Chinese New Year, we were talking about how great her legs will look if she wore a micro short Cheong Sum.

Does no. 4 work? Yes she does and part of her working description is talking to me on her IM. Been proposing to her but she is yet to leave her job to come down to Kuantan and be the bride of x.

Do you have any cousin in her school?Huh? No, I guess....

Will you be with no.1? Hell yeah, she is hot but I guess not, she is with someone.

What about no.5? Damn she is hot too, same answer like above. Note to myself, remember point number one on top.

Does no. 2 have siblings? I can’t remember, she is currently not on her MSN and she is a little too far to call up. I’ll check with her some other time.

How did you get to know about no.2 and no. 4? No.2 - I was caught “skodenging” her blog , no. 4- through pink. (yes she is the one who is supplying me with fresh new hot chicks on my MSN list)

Where do no 1. lives? Apparently in Subang Jaya, but I am guessing she camps out in her gym.

How did you get to know no. 2? Skodenging her blog? I am confused, isn't this the same question asked ?

Is no. 5 the sexiest person in the world? Yes she in a micro short Cheong Sum is definitely going to get my vote :P~~~~~~

Well, sorry I cannot be specific because I have yet to meet anyone, so this is the best I can do. thanks again to curryegg for the tag,

Anyone complicate your life yet?

article on xniquet-wiki available:
ape itu skodeng?

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