xniquet's Christmas Tree

Happy Wordless Wednesday.



Hope y'all like my Christmas tree.



'Cause it took me a pint of myself to do it.



Just so you know I do what I preached.



Wishing y'all have a smashing Christmas and a Happy fucking New Year.

Getting High has Never Been So Cheap

And you think you need loads of cash to snort on coke which only mega bucks earners are able to afford? So what about us the middle class average Joe gotta do to get high? In these times of global economic meltdown, when even rock stars would even think twice before calling their drug suppliers, people are switching from powder to something readily available, less expensive and gets the job done . Well almost, you can’t complain because it is cheap. The Southern Rappers call it Sippin’ Syrup, Britney Spears call it Purple Drank but we the people in Cherating call it “KOKTAIL UBAT BATUK”.

So here is the Recipe of making this delicious drink:

Ingredients:

• 1 can of Soda [anything you like but I will still to Sprite or Pepsi]

• 1 bottle Cough Syrup with codeine [You will need a prescription for this so this is when being buddies with doctors comes in handy. But then again if you are living in Malaysia, just head to your neighborhood’s pharmacy, slip RM10.00 over the counter and then fake a few coughs and you will be getting your very own bottle of cough syrup in no time.]

Method:

Add equal amount of cough syrup and soda. For better effect add some crushed painkillers or a couple of doses of Jim Beam into your drink. With the cocktail in your hands, find the best seat in the house, switch on some music [Recommended: Kid Rock's Someone Gotta Feel this] and start sipping your way into narcotic nirvana. You will know that you are high when you startz to speakz like tiz…

Getting high has never been so easy, no needles, no powder, no big money being but

all the harm of drug abuse...

Death, Injuries and Shit like That

If the above is true, this wouldn’t be me writing this wouldn’t it? But a logical explanation to justify the above would be that I somehow, found my way back from the depths of Hades and blog about what fucking happened to me. But for the time being, let’s just stick to the version that the above isn’t real and let me tell you what fucking mess I got myself into again.

Firstly, I am proud to announce that this should be my 5th injury this year; I am getting better at this I think I had 3 last year. 4 minor injuries and 1 big one (broken feet) this year, am I good or am I good? You can’t blame me because it has been raining like hell these days back here and accidents are prone to happened when you don’t wear protection and it is wet, just look at Evie who gave birth to her first born after 9 months. (Wukakakaka! Okie, not funny, my bad) I know you must be thinking it is nothing to be proud; some of you might have be fond of collecting stuff that you like, well for me, you could say that I have fetish of collecting scars on my body. I wonder will it ever be consider as body art one of these days.

Look at this baby, I got this while one while trying to avoid a fucking tree on my downhill ride in the P Hill downhill ride. It wouldn’t give me a good scar but it will just give me a good old sore arm for days. It ain’t that bad because it is my left hand which is feeling the numb, I still have my good old right which allows me to move my mouse and also practice my one hand typing which is pretty useful when you are having cyber-sex (that is what I heard), don’t look at me cause I am still a cyber-virgin. But the only thing sucky about having a sore left arm it that you can’t play PS3 because it requires both of your thumbs, but there are always alternatives, I guess computer games are back in the menu again. this took place with my biking buddies...

Anyway, Lisa was pissed at me because I didn’t wanna go shopping with her for clothes, I asked her to snap pictures of her in the dressing room with anything she plans to get and send it over to me, it would be like having me with her in the dressing room. But she told me, how on earth can she take her own picture in the dressing room? I have seen it done many many times by many many female bloggers, pointing at the mirror and snapping away. So how hard can it be? It isn’t rocket science right? So I tried showing it to her how it was done but all my pictures turned out crap. So I give up and I will drag my lazy ass out to go shopping with her. I hereby salute all those who are able to camwhore flawlessly in the dressing room.

How to be Anorexic

Anorexia is latest trend that is spreading across the world, it originated from Ethiopia. Anorexia is not a fucking disease, but it is a lifestyle. It is something that you should embrace and cherish if you want to be one of the beautiful people. By reading this article, you are on your way on becoming beautiful. So I welcome to the world of the thin and beautiful… that is right I am talking about you FATTY!!!!

How to be an anorexic

Step one
Look at yourself in the mirror fatty and be sick with all the fats and excess meat that is taken over your body. Keep telling yourself you are fat and ugly. Ask your friends, but when they answer that you are not, they are merely telling a white lie just to make you feel better. The fact is you are fat and ugly, and anorexic is the cure to the fucking disease of being fat and ugly.

Step two
Hands off the food Fatty! Fuck up your relationship with Food. Make sure you get sick by the mere mentioned about eating, kitchens, cutlery, refrigerators, restaurants and another that has got to do with food. Eating is for fat people and beautiful people don’t eat. You do wanna be beautiful right?

Step three
Invert pain and punishment on your fat ass for even thinking about food or craving it. The best way is to pluck out some pubic hair every time you think about eating; if you have none, resort to using a rubber band and flick it on your nipples or ear lobe every time you think of food. No pain No gain baby!

Step Four
Hey, you are not just fat but silly, being an anorexic doesn’t mean you don’t eat at all; you do eat but you eat at a minimum. And the only food source of a true anorexic is air. Be sure to acquire the art of preparing, cooking and serving air for all your meals. But don’t overdo it okie? You don’t want air to ruin your diet right?

Master the above steps and you will be on your way on becoming one of the beautiful people. Remember you are fat and ugly, food is evil and every time when I person tells you that you are too thin and you should be eating, that person either mocking you or trying to make you fatter so that she gets all the lime light. Use this picture on the left as your target, happy trying!!!

How to Slit Your Wrist the Right Way

This blog will be placed into a cryogenic state to give way to this blogger's dream that is to write a short story before he fucking dies. So basically the post here would rather be bits and pieces of my up and coming short story.  

But if you are craving for some of  my entries and journal like post, I've set up a page onFacebook where you will find my unpublished post, memoirs, dream journals and sometimes forgotten posts there. And maybe from time to time, there will be a fresh new blog post posted here http://www.facebook.com/middlefingertechnology 

This isn't the end of this blog but it is just taking a whole different direction. 

As for the Slit Your Wrist Gallery and suicide notes, you can easily share your wrist cutting pictures and suicide notes on: 

http://www.facebook.com/middlefingertechnology

"Calling all practicing wrist cutter! I am creating a new gallery for those who love to slit their wrist therefore I am collecting pictures of wrist being slit or wounds resulting from wrist slitting. If you could send it those pictures and your name too, I can add it in the gallery, just so the others can see how cool you really are. "

Please post your pictures at http://www.facebook.com/middlefingertechnology

Attention: the xniquet's slit your wrist gallery is up click here

We are a whole goddamn generation of Google and WIKI slaves; we consult them on anything we want to know. Did you know that if you search on “How to Slit your Wrist?” all you get is a bunch of link to the site that tells you reason NOT to Slit Your Wrist. There is even a site which is clever enough to tell you WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU WANT TO SLIT YOUR WRIST? They ask you to do something else then slitting it. I mean it is good and admirable that these sites are there to help those who are trying to kill themselves. But come on, what about those who just want to inflict self harm on them self? Happiness with never be the same if there is no sadness; Love will never mean a thing if there is no hate; the truth is rubbish without the lies; Life is not much of a worth without death. Come on let’s live a little dangerously… if you strongly disagree with me, I urged you not to read on, because I shall be revealing the correct way of slitting one’s wrist.

The most common way and least dangerous way of slitting your wrist is the “ACROSS THE STREET” cut, it is only fatal in rare extreme cases. Usually this is done when the person really doesn’t want to die; it is only a cry for attention to make everyone thinks that you are suicidal or just to show off your scar. To maximize the effect of the scar, a short-sleeved t-shirt should be wore at all times (preferably black and with a cool band’s name on it, see below for suicidal fashion sense) to highlight the cut area. But you must act like you don’t want people to notice the scar while taking advantage of every available opportunity to show them off or bring them up in a conversation. (This requires more skill than slitting your wrist and it would take days to master)

Alright, enough of fooling around, now to the real thing on how to slit your wrist the right way, it is called “DOWN THE STREET” cut. This is the most dangerous way of slitting your wrist, and it looks way cooler than the conventional “ACROSS THE STREET” way of cutting. This shouldn’t be attempt unless you are really suicidal and not just a lame excuse to get a cool looking scar. Remember you only got one life and it is good to the very last drop; don’t go piss it off just because you want to show people how cool you are.

Suicidal fashion sense